Looks and Books

Unknown Student:MY FRIEND WAS WONDERING, UH... IF I GAVE YOU A JOINT, WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME?

Daniel:WE'RE GONNA BLOW THE ROOF OFF HIS GARAGE IN A MOST ROCK-TAGIOUS WAY

Lindsay:MY DAD EVEN CALLS IT BETTY

Lindsay · Kim:OH! SQUIRREL! Lindsay WHOA! JEEZ, MY NECK!

Kim:JUST RUN OVER THE STUPID SQUIRREL, LINZE

Daniel:LINDSAY, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE DRIVER

Lindsay:HOW FAR IS THIS PLACE, JAPAN?

Ken:YEAH. YEAH. ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS 'CAUSE I GOT A BIG ONE A-BREWING

Ken:THOSE MILLER FARTS ARE UNBELIEVABLE

Lindsay:OH, MY GOD.

Sam:I HATE BEING IN SCHOOL AFTER IT'S OUT. MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A JANITOR

Bill:JANITORS ARE COOL. I'D LIKE TO BE A JANITOR

Neal:WHY? SO YOU CAN SHOW UP WITH THE RED SAWDUST AFTER A KID THROWS UP?

Bill:NO. 'CAUSE JANITORS MAKE WAY MORE THAN TEACHERS

Cindy:BECAUSE I'M A GIRL

Cindy:IT'S THE HAIR

Todd:YEAH. ALL THE MEN MY MOM DATES HAVE FEATHERED HAIR

Todd:SHE SAID ANY GUY WITH FEATHERED HAIR IS FOXY

Todd:THAT'S WOMEN. THEY GET TURNED ON BY WEIRD STUFF

Daniel:HEY, LADY, SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY. YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL A LITTLE UPSET HERE

Daniel:CALM THE HELL DOWN, ALL RIGHT?

Daniel:HEY, HEY, HEY, GUYS! TAKE IT EASY. IT'S BOTH YOUR FAULTS

Kim:HEY, LADY. THERE'S SOMETHING YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE HEARD OF. IT'S CALLED INSURANCE

Kim:YEAH. WHO WANTS TO BE NEAR YOU ANYWAYS. YOU'RE TOO SEXY

Harold:I CAN SEND MY OWN DAUGHTER TO JAIL. YOU KNOW THAT?

Harold:YOU'LL BE COMING HOME RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL AND SITTING IN YOUR ROOM. NO STEREO, NO RADIO, NO TV, NO NOTHING

Lindsay:DON'T WORRY. [SIGHS] I WON'T.

Millie:IF YOU WANT, I CAN GO GET MY UNO DECK

Millie:KATIE GOT SO NERVOUS WHEN SHE WENT UP TO DO HER ROUND THAT SHE GOT A BLOODY NOSE. AND THEN, SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT. SHE HAD TO SNEEZE, AND SHE BLEW BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE

Millie:WELL, NO, BUT... SHE WAS GONNA

Sam:OH, MAN. HOW AM I GONNA GET THIS ON WITHOUT MESSING UP MY HAIR?

Harold:BOY, I CAN JUST IMAGINE HOW MUCH THOSE PIRATES ARE GONNA CHARGE ME

Harold · Jean:JUST PRETEND YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT CARS. BUT I DON'T. THEY CAN SMELL IT, THE BLOODSUCKERS

Jean:SAMMY, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME. JUST LIKE ONE OF THE HARDY BOYS

Daniel:HA HA HA HA! WHAT, DID YOU JUST COME FROM CHURCH?

Lindsay:NO. NOT AT ALL. HE WAS REALLY HAPPY THAT I STOLE HIS CAR AND SMASHED IT

Kim:MAYBE YOU'RE JUST ON YOUR PERIOD

Lindsay · Daniel:YEAH, DANIEL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT. I'M ON MY PERIOD. YOU FIGURED IT OUT. IT WAS A JOKE. OH, SORRY. IT'S HARD TO PICK UP ON THE SUBTLETY OF YOUR WIT

Lindsay:LOOK, I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT BEING SMART OR GOING TO SCHOOL OR ANYTHING ELSE, BUT JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIVES ARE SUCH LOST CAUSES, DON'T KEEP ASSUMING THAT MINE IS

Kim · Daniel:I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY. SHUT UP

Daniel:YOU KNOW, WHO ASKED HER TO HANG OUT WITH US ANYWAYS? LIKE WE NEED HER LITTLE JUDGMENTS ALL THE TIME

Kim:IT'S LIKE HANGING OUT WITH MY GRANDMA

Ken:I'M GONNA WAIT FOR MY DAD TO DIE SO I INHERIT HIS COMPANY. THEN I'M GONNA SELL IT AND MOVE TO HAWAII

Nick:I'M GONNA BE, LIKE, A LAWYER OR SOMETHING. I'M GONNA PUT THE POLE ON TRIAL. I'M GONNA GET GUYS OUT OF JAIL AND STUFF

Nick:LINDSAY'S REALLY DEPRESSED THAT I BROKE UP WITH HER. SHE'S GOT TO GET OVER IT THOUGH, YOU KNOW?

Nick:NO. I'M GONNA BE A DEEJAY, MAN. AND MAYBE, UM, A LUMBERJACK

Erin:THE NAME OF THE COMPANY IS TEXAS INSTRUMENTS, BUT I HEARD IT'S MADE IN TAIWAN

Lindsay:HE SAYS EINSTEIN DID FINE WITHOUT ONE AND SO SHOULD I

Millie:HE CALLED YOU THE HUMAN CALCULATOR. I THINK HE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU

Neal:YOUR HAIR'S NOT LONG ENOUGH TO BE FEATHERED. I THINK IT LOOKS WEIRD, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO BE ALL FANCY OR SOMETHING

Bill · Neal:MY MOM ALWAYS SAYS THAT YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY WITH WHAT THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU. WELL, THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU A LOT, GORDON

Bill:MY WHOLE FAMILY'S BIG-BONED. IT'S GENETIC. BESIDES, THE WORLD LOVES JOLLY FAT GUYS. BURL IVES, JACKIE GLEASON... SANTA CLAUS, UH, CURLY, RAYMOND BURR

Neal · Bill:NO. RAYMOND BURR'S NOT JOLLY. WELL, HE WAS EXTREMELY NICE TO ME AT LAST YEAR'S AUTO SHOW

Cindy:TODAY IN CHEMISTRY, I SAT ON A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE AND HAD TO GO HOME AND CHANGE MY PANTS

Cindy:SAM, DID YOU WEAR A HAT TODAY? BECAUSE YOUR HAIR LOOKS KIND OF FLAT

Neal · Sam:SAM, YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER DRESSES YOU. HEY, WELL, AT LEAST I DON'T DRESS LIKE A VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY

Neal:LOOK AROUND. THE WHOLE SCHOOL DRESSES BETTER THAN YOU DO. CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES, CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Harold:WE LIVE RIGHT OUTSIDE DETROIT, AND THEY CAN'T FIND A FENDER? NOW I GET 2 WEEKS OF DRIVING AROUND TOWN LOOKING LIKE SOME KIND OF HILLBILLY

Sam:MOM! YOU ALWAYS GET ME SOMETHING STUPID, LIKE GARANIMALS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

Harold:A MAN HAS TO LEARN TO DRESS HIMSELF. YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO CUT THOSE APRON STRINGS SOMETIME

Mr. Kowchevski · Lindsay:THIS IS THE MATHLETES, NOT THE FOOTBALL TEAM. / WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? IT'S STILL A TEAM

Clothing Salesman:YOU WANNA BE A STUD, OR DO YOU WANNA BE A SUPER STUD?

Clothing Salesman:THIS IS A PARISIAN NIGHTSUIT, AND I PREDICT EVERY TRENDSETTING GUY IN THIS CITY'S GONNA OWN ONE

Clothing Salesman:BUY THIS GARMENT, AND I GUARANTEE YOU'LL BE PERCEIVED AS A MAN OF DISTINCTION BY THE LADIES

Clothing Salesman:YOU KNOW, I'M NOT A HANDSOME MAN, BUT I LEARNED HOW TO STYLE MY HAIR, STARTED WEARING SOME OF THESE CLOTHES. IT'S BEEN PRETTY COOL

Shelly:SHE REJOINS AND GETS INTO COMPETITION IN ONE DAY? THAT'S NOT FAIR!

Mr. Kowchevski:THIS ISN'T THE LAST CHOPPER OUT OF SAIGON, SO CAN WE PLEASE JUST CRANK DOWN THE DRAMA A NOTCH, OK?

Jocks:IT'S THE NEW DISCO KEN DOLL! HEY, PULL THE STRING AND MAKE HIM TALK!

Neal · Jocks:THAT'S A PARISIAN NIGHTSUIT, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW. A PARISIAN? OOH LA LA!

Bill:NO, NO. IT'S A JUMPSUIT. MY GRANDPA IN FORT LAUDERDALE WEARS THEM ALL THE TIME CAUSE HE'S TOO LAZY TO PUT ON PANTS

Neal:YEAH, I DIDN'T SAY YOU SHOULD DRESS LIKE EVEL KNIEVEL

Bill:I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE SECRET SERVICE

Vice Principal:NICE DUDS, JUNIOR

Teacher:NOW IF SAM WEARING SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO EXPRESS HIS INDIVIDUALITY MAKES HIM A 'HOMO,' WELL, THEN, I GUESS WE SHOULD ALL BE PROUD TO BE 'HOMOS.'

Harris · Daniel:THE, UH, THE MONSTER MANUAL. IT'S A DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HANDBOOK. DO YOU PLAY? NO. YOU SHOULD. YOU'D MAKE A GOOD DUNGEON MASTER. I CAN TELL

Harris:NO, YOU'RE NOT A LOSER, 'CAUSE YOU HAVE SEX. BUT, IF YOU WEREN'T HAVING SEX, THEN WE COULD DEFINITELY DEBATE THE ISSUE

Harris:TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. SOMEONE SENT MY DAD A CARD WITH THAT ON IT FOR HIS 65TH BIRTHDAY

Daniel · Harris:YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY, HARRIS. YEAH, I MEAN, YOU DO YOUR OWN THING. YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF. YOU GOT IT PRETTY FIGURED OUT. YEAH, I GUESS I DO. I DON'T HAVE SEX, THOUGH

Jocks:'SCUSE ME. AREN'T YOU DANNY TERRIO FROM DANCE FEVER? NO, I TOLD YOU, IT'S CHRISSY FROM THREE'S COMPANY

Mr. Rosso:ALAN, HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE NOT GAY TO BE COOL?

Mr. Rosso · Sam:SAM, WHEN I WAS ABOUT 20, I WAS HANGING OUT IN THIS HONKY-TONK DOWN SOUTH WHEN A BIG BUNCH OF REDNECKS SURROUNDED ME. STARTED MAKING JOKES ABOUT MY FRINGE VEST, MY HAIR. CALLING ME A HIPPIE, A WOMAN. THEY DRAGGED ME INTO AN ALLEY, MADE ME DANCE, TOLD ME TO BARK LIKE A DOG. DID YOU DO IT? YEAH. PRETTY MUCH HAD TO, THERE WAS 10 OF THEM

Mr. Rosso:WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I NEVER LOST PRIDE IN WHO I AM

Mr. Rosso:IF I SAY I'M THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD AND I BELIEVE I'M THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD, THEN SUDDENLY I BECOME THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD

Mr. Rosso:WELL, THEN TAKE A LOOK AT THIS KID. BECAUSE THAT'S A COOL KID

Lindsay:DAMN, I'VE NEVER FELT SO STUPID IN MY WHOLE LIFE

Lindsay:DID YOU GUYS SEE SHELLY WHEN SHE MISSED THAT SQUARE ROOT PROBLEM? SHE STARTED SWEATING LIKE A PIG

Lindsay · Millie:FORGET HER. SHE HAD IT COMING. I MEAN, I KIND OF FELT BAD FOR SHELLY, THOUGH

Sam · Bill · Neal:YEAH, THAT'S WHAT MR. ROSSO SAID. YEAH, AND HE'S COOL. YEAH, BUT I ALREADY THINK I'M COOL. MAYBE THAT'S WHY NOBODY ELSE DOES. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT. I'M REALLY COOL

Lindsay:I JUST CAN'T DO THIS. IT'S BEEN GREAT HANGING OUT WITH YOU, BUT IT'S JUST NOT WHERE I'M AT ANYMORE. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW

Daniel:A FOREIGN FILM? IS THAT THE KIND YOU HAVE TO READ? WHAT'S THE POINT?

Kim:THE POINT IS TRYING NOT TO BE A DUMB ASS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, THAT'S WHAT

Nick:I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU'RE FEELING BETTER ABOUT OUR BREAK-UP. I THINK YOU'RE HANDLING IT REALLY WELL