Lt. Joe Bookman

Bookman · Jerry:Who doesn't have instant coffee? / Buy a jar of Folgers crystals, put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. When you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried crystals.

Bookman:Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards. Abbie Hoffman telling everybody to steal books.

Bookman:Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella.

Bookman:Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. But what about that kid sitting down opening a book right now in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat?

Bookman:Well, I got a flash for you, joy-boy: Party time is over.

Bookman:I remember when the librarian was a much older woman. Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life. We didn't wanna know about her private life. She didn't have a private life.

Bookman:Got that, kewpie doll?

Bookman:You better not screw up again, Seinfeld. Because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle.

Bookman:Buy a jar of Folgers crystals, put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. When you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried crystals.

Bookman:But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella.

Bookman:finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers?

Bookman:Well, I got a flash for you, joy-boy: Party time is over.

Bookman:Got that, kewpie doll?