Character Analysis
Detective
Played by Nicholas Mele
8 jokes across 3 episodes of Seinfeld
1.6
8
6.8
6.6
Escalation
Detective delivers 8 scored jokes across 3 episodes of Seinfeld, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.6 on impact for a career WAR of 1.6. Their comedy leans toward escalation. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Detective Lines
Detective:Yeah, right. Maybe it was one of your other personalities. What? The wise guy, the little kid, the bellhop, the ballplayer? Maybe the door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman, but not you.
Detective:Don't you ever swear to my God, Kramer. My God protects the innocent and punishes evil scum like you.
Detective:The mechanic forms an emotional attachment... thinks he's gonna lose the car. He panics and does something rash.
Detective · Ross:'What kind of expression is that?' / 'I don't know, sir. Police lingo.'
Detective:Maybe the pervert in the park had a present in his pants, huh?
All Jokes — 8 total
Detective · Ross:'What kind of expression is that?' / 'I don't know, sir. Police lingo.'
Detective:Don't you ever swear to my God, Kramer. My God protects the innocent and punishes evil scum like you.
Detective:Now, you might beat the gas chamber, Kramer. But as long as I've got a breath you will never see the light of day again.
Detective:Yeah, right. Maybe it was one of your other personalities. What? The wise guy, the little kid, the bellhop, the ballplayer? Maybe the door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman, but not you.
Detective:You saw a life, brimming brightly with optimism and verve, and you just had to snuff it out.
Detective:Maybe the pervert in the park had a present in his pants, huh?
Detective:You're a weed. Society's filled with them. You're choking the life out of all the pretty flowers.
Detective:The mechanic forms an emotional attachment... thinks he's gonna lose the car. He panics and does something rash.