
Character Analysis
Mohel
9 jokes across 1 episodes of Seinfeld
2.3
9
6.9
7
Escalation
Best Jokes by Mohel
I could have been a kosher butcher like my brother. The money's good. It's got a union with benefits. And cows don't have families. You make a mistake with a cow, you move on with your life.
Two years later, you're barefoot... you step on broken glass and kill yourself! Is that what you want? I don't think that's what you want. Do you?
One more peep, and I'll slice you like a smoked sturgeon.
People, people. Compose yourself. This is a bris! We're performing a bris here, not a burlesque show. This is not a school play. This is not a baggy-pants farce. This is a bris!
See where that glass is? See how the glass is near the edge? You've got the whole table to put the glass. Why you chose the absolute edge so half the glass is hanging off the table. You breathe, and it falls over.
All Jokes — 9 total
What was that? Jeez, it scared the hell out of me! I mean, my God, I almost had a heart attack!
Is the baby gonna cry like that? Is that how he cries... with that loud, sustained, squealing cry? That could pose a problem. Do have any control over your child?
I'll be lying in the gutter like a bum, a dog, a mutt, a mongrel, an animal!
See where that glass is? See how the glass is near the edge? You've got the whole table to put the glass. Why you chose the absolute edge so half the glass is hanging off the table. You breathe, and it falls over.
Two years later, you're barefoot... you step on broken glass and kill yourself! Is that what you want? I don't think that's what you want. Do you?
People, people. Compose yourself. This is a bris! We're performing a bris here, not a burlesque show. This is not a school play. This is not a baggy-pants farce. This is a bris!
I could have been a kosher butcher like my brother. The money's good. It's got a union with benefits. And cows don't have families. You make a mistake with a cow, you move on with your life.
One more peep, and I'll slice you like a smoked sturgeon.
I'll get you for this. This is my business, my life! No one ruins it for me, no one!