Little Big Mom

Homer:D'oh! [Homer crashes into something]

Bart:I like the ones where the mouse kills the cat

Marge:Well, anyone would be nervous with all the economic turmoil you read about in the-

Bart · Homer:Get her! She's doing something!

Homer:It's the Goodwill truck! She cleaned out the attic!

Homer:Our junk! And the exits are sealed! Go to plan 'B'!

Homer:We came this close to losing our spare Christmas tree stand. You monster!

Homer:Look! Here's the box for my Pitch Back. If I still had it, I could put it in here!

Homer:This flash cube has two flashes left

Lisa:You bought them after the Nagano Olympics and never skied once

Homer:Hey, let's go skiing right now!

Bart:Look, Dad. It's the drummer from Bread

Lisa · Marge:See, Mom? You conquered your fears and now you're ready to- / I'm sorry!

Homer:The Widowmaker. No, that one's for the ladies. Spinebuster? Boring. Whoo! Colostomizer!

Ned:Hi-diddly-ho, schuss-in-boots!

Ned:Well, it allows for maximum mobility. Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all

Homer:Must wash eyes! Stupid sexy Flanders!

Homer:This is the worst pain ever!

Ski patrol:Single [chuckles]

Marge · Lisa:Leave those deer alone! But they were trying to eat me

Bart · Snowboard instructor:Can I go to the bathroom? Uh-uh! Say it in snowboard. Um, I gotta blast a dookie. Dook on!

Disco Stu · Marge:Is this seat taken? Uh, I think that's an armrest

Disco Stu:Sure, baby. Whatever your trip is. Disco Stu wants you to be comfortable while he does his thing

Marge:Skiing fanny first into a crevasse isn't my idea of fun

Ski patrol:Oh, man. Another clock accident

Homer · Paramedic:I want my wife to get the best treatment money can buy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't go nuts. Uh, better than that. Perfect

Doctor:Otherwise, a hunk of bone could zoom right to her brain [chuckles]

Marge:I can't be in the hospital. Tomorrow is laundry day. And I've gotta de-meat Lisa's bologna

Homer:All the laundry and dirty dishes will be there when you get back

Marge:Just make sure your father eats all his meals over a tarp. But not the good tarp. I want you to get married on that someday

Doctor · Hospital worker:You are wasting thousands of dollars worth of interferon. And you're 'interferon' with our good time [laughs]

Lisa · Homer:Dad, where are your clothes? I don't know. Don't tell me Mom dresses you. I guess. Or one of her friends

Bart:Come on, bikini inspector. Scrub toilet? Okay, that was a practice

Homer:Lisa, I'll do the dishes when I pick it out of the chore hat and it's not a practice

Bart · Lisa:Oh! But Lenny just got some bottle rockets. You stay away from Lenny

Lisa · Bart:That's not true. He left it on the bus. You're dead, squealer!

Marge · Nurse:Oh, I don't want to be a bother. Wouldn't bother us. It just turns up your morphine

Lisa · Homer:The cheese isn't quite melted. Let me just pop it back in the- [growls] Here you go

Lisa:Slivered almonds for the green beans. I'll be right back.

Lisa · Bart:Bart, you were supposed to scour the pans. They need to soak. You said that four days ago. Look! They're rusted through. It's an illusion

Lisa · Homer:Astronaut bread? It's the bread of astronauts

Lisa · Homer:Maple soda? A cell phone full of candy? Astronaut bread? It's the bread of astronauts.

Lisa · Homer:I didn't know Aerosmith made a cereal. Dad, I gave you a list. Oh, yeah [laughs] You were way off

Homer:Hello? Lollipop Island? There's a little girl here who had too many sour balls

Homer · Bart:Marco. Polo. Marc- Ohh! [splash]

Lucy:Lucy McGillicuddy Ricardo Carmichael. And I think there's some more

Lisa · Lucy:You mean like when you hid inside the conga drum to scare Ricky? Hey! Stay away from the drums! That's my bit

Bart:My skin! My beautiful skin!

Computer:Welcome to Virtual Doctor. From the makers of Dragon Quest and Sim Sandwich

Homer:Duh! We're pigs!

Homer:Leprosy! I can't believe it! That fortune cookie was right!

Bart:Why would God punish a kid? I mean, an American kid?

Bart · Homer:At Sunday school, they said the lepers were cured by some bearded dude. Jesus? Yeah, that sounds right

Bart:But I know someone who's even holier than Jesus

Ned · Maude:You saw Ben-Hur without me? We were broken up then. Well, that's no-

Homer · Bart:Brains. Brains. Use your brains to help us. Your delicious brains

Ned:No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm just thinking we could send you to a better place

Doctor:Code blue! A thousand c.c.'s of leg wax! Stat!

Lisa · Moe:He told us he'd been going to the gym. [chuckles] Wow

Moe:Because I couldn't take that. I- I just couldn't. I- [sobbing]

Lisa:Hansen's disease. You know, like that horrible cream soda

Ned · Rod · Todd:Cost us a bundle too. I guess we'll have an imagination Christmas this year. Yea! Imagination Christmas!

Rod · Todd:I got a pogo stick. I got a hula hoop

Homer:We'll take the cure, bag a few lobsters, then watch some gay guys get married

Hospital worker · Homer:Oh, you'll have a great view of the whole beach from the electric needle room. Really? The whole beach? Yes. From the electric needle room

Bart:I figured it out after I ate one of my chest sores

Homer:All we have to do is endure two hours of blinding pain. Then it's nothing but shopping and surfing

Bart:Tonight we're gonna put our fake sores back on, then jump the fence at Club Med and scare the normals

Homer:Aloha- [electricity crackles] Aloha- Ow! Until we meet a- [screams]