Pygmoelian

Homer:D'oh! [Screams]

Unknown Character:Fire! Fire! Fire! [Gasps] Oh, no! What do I save? [Screeches] Trophies, trophies. Oh- Ooh! Attendance.

Unknown Character:Good work, everyone. We're sure to be first in line for Duff Days.

Unknown Character:[Chuckles] I know. I'm a character.

Homer:Rockin' Fun Zone? That sounds fun.

Marge:I don't see the need for razor wire.

Ben Franklin Animatronic:Early to bed. [Hiccups] Early to rise. Ya think-Ya think you're better than me? Huh?

Announcer:Now, fresh from his appearance before the House Subcommittee on Teenage Alcoholism... Duff Man!

Announcer:And now, the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug- oh,yeah- give it up for Moe Szyslak.

Carl:That spells 'Duff.' Go, Moe! Boo, everyone else.

Michael Finn · Announcer:Goat. Uh, close enough!

Carl:You can really taste the goat.

Carl · Lenny:Moo? Lenny, you were supposed to be 'E.' See what happens when you skip rehearsal.

Titania · Duff Man:You said if I slept with you, I wouldn't have to touch the drunk. Duff Man says a lot of things. Oh, yeah!

Phil Angelides:That's a mug you don't wanna chug.

Phil Angelides:Knock it off, Larry. We can't put this face on our calendar.

Moe:When I get home, there are gonna be a lot of open pickle jars.

Lisa:Then I'd like a rattle and a 'wollypop.' Actually, I would like a 'wollypop.'

Lisa · Bart:Those balloons won't biodegrade for 10,000 years. If Bart gets a wollypop, I want a wollypop.

Homer · Moe:Hey, Moe, this license expired in 1973... and it's only good in Rhode Island, and it's signed by you. Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated... for this state and real.

Moe:Hey. 'Viva la'- 'Kiss Me'- What? Hey! Ah, for the love of Jeff.

Carl · Lenny · Barney · Homer:Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Huh? Is Barney that drunk? [Moans] Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat? [Sighs] Oh, my God! It's worse than I thought!

Homer:Like, you ever been to White Castle? Oh, boy. Pigtown, U.S.A.

Moe · Homer · Carl:Come on. Look at me. I'm a gargoyle... what, with the cauliflower ear there and the lizard lips- Little rat eyes. Caveman brow. Don't forget that fish snout.

Homer · Carl:Or listen to. Or be with.

Homer:That's why they won't let Bill Maher on TV before midnight.

Moe · Marge:Maybe they could dynamite Mount Crapmore here and carve me a new kisser. But I'd look good on the outside, right? Yeah, but you'd feel bad inside. Plastic surgery it is!

Moe · Homer:But I'd look good on the outside, right? Yeah, but you'd feel bad inside. Plastic surgery it is!

Lisa:I wish I could be entertained by two cents worth of rubber shaped like some colorful animal... dancing and twirling, dancing and twirling.

Bart:I hope they're hoverbikes. Oh, man, that would be so awesome!

Dr. Riviera · Moe:First, we must install buttocks. Nah, nah, nah, no luxury items. Just a face.

Moe · Dr. Riviera:Can the medical mumbo jumbo. Can you fix me or not? Well, we'll see. You know, most faces need a little remodeling... but this is a total teardown.

Dr. Riviera:Oh, stop it. You're worse than Faye Dunaway.

Bart:I'm not riding a girl's bike.

Bart · Lisa:I'm not riding a girl's bike. Hey, it's getting away! Step on it. Hyah! Hyah! Stop kickin' me! Hyah!

Dr. Riviera · Nurse · Moe:Ooh, boy, what a mug! Yeah. You should see his genitals. Would you like to see them? I'm awake here.

Doctor:Yeah. You should see his genitals. Would you like to see them?

Dr. Velimirovic:Uh-oh. This isn't anesthetic. It's new car smell.

Gay Republicans:We need a symbol. Something that says we're gay and Republican. A little on the nose, don't you think?

Homer · Gay Republican:'A gay president in 2084'? We're realistic.

Moe:What? I'm a monster, right? I knew it. I guess I'll just crawl back to live in a sewer... periodically emerging to sue you.

Dr. Riviera · Moe:Oopsie. We got some leakage. Let me just cauterize that for you. [Searing] [Moe Moaning]

Moe · Dr. Riviera:Wait a minute. I died on the operating table, didn't I? Yeah, but just for a minute. It's a funny story. I'll tell you sometime.

Moe:A new life. A second chance... for revenge.

Moe · Duff Man:Hey, Duff Man, let's see how you like a sticker on your face! Yeah! Duff Man... can't breathe. Oh, no! Oh!

Moe · Duff Man:Hey, Duff Man, let's see how you like a sticker on your face! Yeah! Duff Man... can't breathe. Oh, no! Oh!

Moe · Former Crush:Well, I just wanted to show you the face that you could have been kissing. Yeah. Oh, I was just a stupid kid back then. And I feel terrible about hurting you. Will you accept my apology?

Moe:Apology? Uh, geez. I wasn't expecting that. Uh- Run!

Soap Producer:I wanted Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island ugly... not Cornelius on the Planet of the Apes ugly. TV ugly, not ugly-ugly.

Moe:I've been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly... but never ugly-ugly.

Moe:I've been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly... but never ugly-ugly.

Moe · Soap Producer:Remember me? Twenty-five years ago... you said I was too ugly to play Dr. Tad Winslow. I did? Well, that's why pencils have erasers, hon. You're our new Dr. Tad Winslow.

Former Dr. Tad Winslow:But there can't be two Dr. Tad Winslows! That's going to- Oh. [Moans]

Marge · Homer:I don't know if I'll be able to accept Moe as Dr. Tad Winslow. Well, I'm gonna keep watching... as long as they have shocking story twists and endless pillow talk.

Cleo/Mummy · Moe as Dr. Tad:But I love you, Tad, and together we can burn all the cities of the Earth. It's against hospital regulations, damn it!

Lenny:Eh, it's over. She got a window shade.

Lenny:Eh, it's over. She got a window shade.

Homer:Hmm. This isn't nearly as complicated as Moe made it seem. [Screaming] [Gurgling]

Moe as Dr. Tad:But the one hole I've never been able to fix is the one in my soul!

Moe:Hey, I got a gift. As a child, I was bitten by the acting bug. Then it burrowed under my skin and laid eggs in my heart. Now those eggs are hatching, and the feeling is indescribable.

Homer:I know what you mean. Our dog had that.

Homer · Homer:'Interior: Coroner's office. Close-up on Dr. Winslow's mangled corpse. Coroner: Let's get that brain out and weigh it and call it a day.' Yep, that does sound kind of bad.

Moe:Well, if they're gonna stomp on my dreams... the least I can do is go out in a blaze of sour grapes.

Homer as Angel:Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists... with sexy results. Well, Sister Bernadette will leave the convent and start a softball team... with sexy results.

Homer as angel:Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists... with sexy results.

Producer · Moe:You idiot. Dr. Winslow was only going to die in a dream. Pink pages always mean a dream. I thought dreams was on goldenrod. No, goldenrod is for coma fantasies.

Soap Producer · Moe:You idiot. Dr. Winslow was only going to die in a dream. Pink pages always mean a dream. I thought dreams was on goldenrod. No, goldenrod is for coma fantasies.

Moe:Nah, it's just as well. That handsome face was nice, but it was too much maintenance. I had to wash it, rub it with neat's-foot oil.

Moe · Homer:And to think... I was about to sell the bar to Hooters. Yeah, you were- D'oh!

Moe:When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? Shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Don't make no-