Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge

Homer:D'oh! [Screams]

teacher:Now be careful with those video cameras, children. In order to buy them, the school board had to eliminate geography. This globe will never spin again.

teacher · students:Now, class, I want you to be creative with your video projects. I don't want to see 30 Blair Witch knockoffs.

Bart:Stop Hitting Yourself, take one.

Bart:Tonight on the Discovery Channel, Inside Lisa's Nose. What will we find, boogers or Nazi gold?

teacher · Otto:Otto, a red traffic light means what? Oooh. No time for brainteasers. Today's the day I ask my girlfriend to take a ride on the matrimony pony.

Otto:We met in the summer of love. Woodstock, '99.

Otto · vendor:Quick! I need some water! Eight dollars! Not in this lifetime.

Becky · Otto:Oh, Otto. Of course my answer is- Oooh, wait, wait, wait, wait. This solo is kick-ass!

Marge · Homer:Ooh, and such delicate tissue paper. Huh? Zig-Zag?

Marge · Homer:Ohhh, we're 'cordially invited this Saturday... to join Otto and Becky at 742 Evergreen Terrace'? That's our address!

Bart:Hey, it'll be easy. You still got most of the stuff from Apu's wedding back there.

elephant:Visual gag: Elephant trumpeting in background

Lisa · Marge:Oh, Mom, you're not supposed to throw rice anymore. Birds eat it, their stomachs swell, and they explode. Why am I just learning this now?

Otto · Otto's father:Well, the important thing is you came. We're leaving.

Patty/Selma:Always a bridesmaid, only occasionally a bride.

Bart · Homer:So, any words for the bride and groom? Not now, Bart. I'm trying to urinate. You don't seem to be trying very hard.

Lisa · Homer:Dad! The bride and groom are supposed to cut the wedding cake. Oh, that's just superstition.

Becky:Oh, we'll be fine. Otto's got a clean police record and he doesn't do any needle drugs.

Marge:Well, the real key according to sexperts is mutual interests.

Becky:He refers to our lovemaking as the Head bangers Ball!

Marge · Homer:That's how I polished Homer into the perfect- Homer! No! That's ice!

Reverend:As for the matter of my honorarium. What? You know, my emolument. Huh? Pay me- $300.

Otto:300? I could have gotten Rick Dees for that.

Becky · band member:You got Poison to play at our wedding? We're Cyanide. A loving tribute to Poison. We need a ride home!

Becky · Band member:You got Poison to play at our wedding? We're Cyanide. A loving tribute to Poison. We need a ride home!

Homer · Moe:Moe, can I give you some shrimp for the road? Nah. I'll just take the ring pillow... and these, uh, seven presents I bring.

Patty/Selma:Yeah. It's better now than when you're too old and fat to get another man.

Bart · Homer:Remember that talk we had about you not wrecking people's weddings?

TV narrator:A man innocently changes his oil when... a two-ton car comes crashing down!

Homer:Who'd have thought you could hold up a car with a wicker basket?

Marge · Becky:So I usually sneak a little meat juice into her vegetables. Wow! You're a real-life Martha Stewart. I mean, without the evil.

Homer:Mom, this gravy tastes better than God's sweat.

Marge · Becky:What are these things in the mashed potatoes? That's the skins. I left them on. Well, nobody's perfect. Let me just pick those out.

Homer · Becky · Marge:What are these things in the mashed potatoes? That's the skins. I left them on. Well, nobody's perfect. Let me just pick those out.

Homer:No! Oh, Becky, your potatoes are the best I've ever had.

Bart:Yeah, Mom. I need something great. Milhouse has footage of himself falling down the stairs.

Lisa:We're jamming, Mom. She's painting my music... and I'm playing to her painting.

Becky · Marge:Actually, you could just tie them at the ends. That way the elastic doesn't wear out. Yes. I hate when things get worn out.

Marge:She's so helpful. And everyone loves her. And, well, this may sound crazy... but I think my family likes Becky more than me.

Patty/Selma:I wouldn't worry about that. Yeah. You're gonna be dead in a week anyway.

Patty:Never let an attractive woman into your house. All they ever do is usurp your family and then kill you.

Patty/Selma · Marge:Like that documentary, The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. That was a movie.

Patty · Selma:Or club you with an antique wooden doll. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a good one.

Patty/Selma · Marge:Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. Oh. But first, she's going to seduce your husband. Becky's going to seduce Homer? [Both Groan] It's an act of violence, not love.

Becky:Oh, yeah. You can learn a lot from your kids if you just listen to 'em.

Marge:Why do I always think of the perfect thing to say when it's too late? 'Shut up, Becky!' Oh, that would have been sweet.

Marge:The 'brakes cut' light! Hmm?

bystanders:Wow. Tough glass. I still say ours is bigger.

Chief Wiggum · Marge:I don't know. Get some attention from a handsome police officer. That's crazy!

Chief Wiggum:Fine. Let me tell you what I tell everybody who comes in here. The law is powerless to help you.

Marge · Chief Wiggum:Do I have to be dead before you'll help me? Well, not dead. Dying.

Chief Wiggum:Just show me the knife, in your back, not too deep... but it should be able to stand by itself.

ice cream server:And God said, Gather ye two of every flavor. Anoint them with 62 sauces, whipped cream and nuts. And ye shall call it... the Ark!

Marge · bystander:Don't mess with me! I've got jimmies! I can only see a horrible rainbow!

Marge:Usurper! Usurper! Usurper!

Marge:Shut up, Becky! There, I finally said it.

Crowd member:I can only see a horrible rainbow!

Chief Wiggum:Drop the cone, sugar! Whoopsie. Yeah, powerless to help you, not punish you.

Chief Wiggum:Yeah, powerless to help you, not punish you.

Marge:This isn't over, Becky! I know where you live! My house!

Marge · Judge:It was healthy. He reciprocated. He reciprocated!

Judge · Marge:I see. And this 'god,' is he in this room right now? Oh, yes. He's kind of everywhere.

Judge · Marge:Marge Simpson, you give us no choice but to declare you utterly- I'm not insane! You didn't let me finish. Insane!

Homer:Run, Marge! Run! Pump those crazy legs!

TV reporter · Homer:Even here at Juggernauts where it's wet T-shirt month! But for now... this reporter prays that Mad Marge can be captured before she kills again. Kills again? She hasn't killed once!

Lisa · Homer:Kills again? She hasn't killed once! Shouldn't we be out there trying to find her?

Ralph · Chief Wiggum:Freeze, you crazy mommy! That a boy. But you gotta aim a little higher. There you go. That's a kill shot.

Krusty · Marge:who's your favorite Native American warrior? Crazy Horse! Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Marge:Hmm! I really should read the whole headline before I react.

Marge:I mean, I am talking to myself. You are? Oh, I thought I'd made a friend.

Becky:Oh, about that. When I changed your oil... I may have drained your brake fluid. I didn't say anything 'cause I thought you'd be mad. Oh, boy. My bad.

Becky:Oh, about that. When I changed your oil... I may have drained your brake fluid. I didn't say anything 'cause I thought you'd be mad. Oh, boy. My bad.

Becky:Hey, no biggie. I was trying to steal your family. I even thought of a good place to bury you. Then I didn't have a shovel, so I went to the hardware store. They have six different kinds. I was, like, 'Later'

doctor · Marge:We put enough tranquilizers in there to take down Jonathan Winters. Oh, I've got too much to do to take a nap right now.

Marge:And, Homer, since you're dressed for it... I got some S & M for ya- scrubbing and mopping.