E I E I Annoyed Grunt

Homer:D'oh! [Screams]

Unknown character:Oh, my. War is terrible.

Announcer:Buzz Cola, the taste you'll Kill for. Available in 'ze' lobby.

Character in theater:Do they really think cheapening the memory of our veterans will sell soda? I have to go to 'ze' lobby!

Theater worker · Customer:You're not supposed to go to the bathroom without washing your hands either. Touché.

Character:To the top, please. Swim, my pretties.

Homer as Zorro:What? 'N'? What does 'N' stand for? No, no. It's a 'Z.' I am Zorro. 'Z' for Zorro.

Homer · Lisa:I have come to return King Arthur to the throne. It's a history lesson come to life! No, it isn't. It's totally inaccurate.

Homer · Unknown:'S.P.'? The Scarlet Pimpernel? We're just, uh, friends.

Patron · Homer:You're pouring hot butter on my leg! Shh, shh, shh!

Homer · Unknown:Sir, I demand satisfaction. I challenge you to a duel. Do you accept or are you a coward? I... am a coward!

Movie Audience · King Arthur:Whoo! You go, Zorro! I, King Arthur, declare Zorro the new king of England!

Rapper:From the 'Z'to the 'O' to the double 'R'-'O' / He's the dude in a mask from the barrio / With his horse and his mask and his big ol'sword / He'll cut your butt from a '52 Ford

Homer · Old man:Oh, move it, Q-tip! Ha!

Homer · Old man:Will you duel, or are you a coward? Would a coward do this? Bye!

Homer · Marge:'H' is for Homer! Thanks, Homer.

Seymour Skinner · Agnes Skinner:Mother, please! You're embarrassing me. No, I'm not. Seymour needs the toilet! His bladder's full- full of urine!

Moe · Patron:Heavyset? What's that supposed to mean? Take it easy. Take it easy. I'm just sayin'. You ain't no, uh, Tommy Tune.

Moe · Homer:Hey, a duel? I, eh- Isn't that a little extreme? Here, here, have a free beer. Really? But you've never given anyone a free beer.

Homer · Various singers:And I owe it all to a little glove slap. [Musical sequence about glove slapping]

Homer:Coming through. Challenge. Duel. Hi, Lenny. How dare you? Demand satisfaction.

Homer:Pistols at dawn? Oh, why did I have to slap a guy who says 'suh'?

Store clerk · Homer:You'll need a will and a headstone. Aisle six. Aisle six? [Groans]

TV announcer:The National Weather Service says dawn is still scheduled for 6:20 tomorrow... and to please stop calling.

Bart · Homer:Yeah, he's probably just a big blowhard like you. Sir, that is an insult! I challenge you-What?

Homer:Oh, honey, I had the worst nightmare. This glove kept slapping people, and I was getting blamed.

Marge:No, no, no, no. You'll get sap on your dueling blouse.

Bart:It looks like you were saved by a Christmas tree. And somebody wanted to get rid of it in April.

Homer · Flanders:You know, I've always wanted to tell you how much- [Phone recording] To continue talking, please deposit 10 cents. Aw, screw it.

Lisa · Bart:That has people living in it. You can see them through the windows. Lousy showoffs.

Homer · Jimmy Carter · Other volunteer:Could you build us a house, President Carter? We can't go back to ours. I'm sorry. These are for the truly needy. Yeah. Get your own habitat.

Homer · Carter:Come on, Carter. Build us a house, you lazy bum! You have offended me, sir. I challenge you to- [Screams] Come back here! Why, you yellow-bellied-

Homer:'Rural Route 9'? That's it! We can hide out at the farm where I grew up!

Bart:What a dump! Race you to the swimmin' hole! [Laughing] Come on, Ma! Bring the young-uns! There's no leeches! Ow, ow, ow! Lots of snakes though!

Marge · Homer:Holy moly! We can't stay here! It's full of raccoons! Just think of'em as cats with rabies.

Homer · Bart · Lisa · Marge:The Simpsons will be reborn as a bunch of gap-toothed bumpkins! I'll dig an outhouse! I'll weed the floor! I'll repress the rage I'm feeling! That's my girl.

Lisa · Homer:It doesn't sound very tractor-y. Hang on. And there. [Clattering, chugging] Now we're talking!

Homer:Go get Lassie! Lassie? I mean Lisa.

Lisa:Oh, you poor little sheep! No one's sheared you for years. Soon you'll be a nice, cool- [Screams] Rat!

Neighbor · Homer:Well, well. Look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car. This car was made in Guatemala. Well, pardon us, Mr. Gucci Loafers. I bought these shoes from a hobo.

Neighbor · Homer:Well, I know your soil p.H. is up around 9.6, and you need it seven to eight max. Oh, that's just superstition!

Neighbor · Homer:Not if you're plantin' gummy bears. D'oh!

Marge · Homer:Maybe it needs more fertilizer. I'm only one man, Marge.

Farmer · Homer:You couldn't grow stink on a monkey. Leave me alone, you big bully. Oh, I'm just razzin' ya. It's my way.

Homer · Neighbor:Oh, who am I kidding? I'm no farmer. Well, if it isn't Mr. Salad Fork. You couldn't grow stink on a monkey.

Homer · Lisa:More tumbleweed, Lisa? [Lisping] No, thanks. I'm still finishing my thistles.

Bart · Homer:Wasn't skipping town in the first place a coward's way out? Oh, you're right! [Sobbing] I'm a coward!

Lenny · Homer:Plutonium? Gee, Homer, isn't that kind of risky? Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not.

Carl · Lenny:Hey, Lenny, sending some outgoing mail? You know it. I'll probably send some tomorrow. I hear that.

Homer · Marge:Sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart. You got that from a movie poster.

Homer · Marge:Well, when there's nothing left to believe in, believe in hope. Where'd you get that? From the producers of Waiting to Exhale.

Marge · Homer:But didn't Grasshopperus kill Chad Everett? Only 'cause he tried to reason with him.

Homer:All right now, don't panic. It's possible the giant vegetables are invisible.

Homer · Marge · Bart:This farm's hopeless. Why didn't I listen to those inbred hicks? I guess I'll just go hang myself in the barn. Homer, no! Let him go, Mom.

Homer:[Gags, coughs] Tastes like cigarette butts! Hmm. That's odd. The outside looks like a tomato, but the inside is brown.

Bart · Lisa:Gimme! I want more! I thought you said it tasted terrible. It does. But it's smooth and mild. And refreshingly addictive.

Lisa:Tomacco? That's pretty clever, Dad. I mean, for a product that's evil and deadly.

Ralph · Chief Wiggum:Oh, Daddy! This tastes like Grandma! Holy Moses! It does taste like Grandma!

Vendor · Customer:Can I interest you in a mincemeat pie? They're very- Does it have tomacco in it? No, but I use only the- Pass!

Tobacco Executive · Homer:Kids are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them. Those dirty, rotten- Tell me about it.

Lisa · Bart:Dad, it's a tobacco company! They make billions off the suffering and deaths of others. She's right, Dad. They can afford a lot more.

Homer:Did you see the way Emil's looking at Mindy? Hoo-hoo! I think something's going on there.

Homer:The least we can accept is 150 billion! They'll be back. We control the world's supply of tomacco... and no one can take that away from-

Homer · Animals:Look! A flying saucer! Hmm? [Laughing] Hmm.

Lisa · Homer:You're about to launch a terrible evil on the world! You've gotta destroy this plant! I know, honey. But what can I do as an individual?

Marge · Homer:Give them the plant, Homer! No. I'd rather die! [Screeches] Aah! Take it!

Homer · Mindy:So, Mindy, how did you want to pay me the 150 million? Cash'll be okay. Or stock!

Tobacco executive:Hey, props to Mindy on the grab! Boo-ya!

Pilot · Executive:Guys, we seem to be carrying a little extra weight. [Chuckles] Don't look at me. I'm on Sugar Busters.

Colonel:[Sniffing] What is that intoxicatin' aroma? Could that be- I say, could that be mincemeat pie?

Colonel · Homer:Hey! Are we duelin'or what? Oh, where are my manners? [Screaming]

Dueling Partner · Colonel:Hey! Are we duelin' or what? Oh, where are my manners?

Bart · Homer · Lisa:You okay, Dad? I think so. The bone stopped the bullet. Dad, this might be one of those things you should go to the hospital for. After pie.