Homer Vs Dignity

Simpson Family:Happy first 'A' Bart Simpson

Marge:Now that our son is an honor student... I'm going to get one of those bumper stickers... that informs strangers of that fact.

Lisa:Just a cotton-pickin' minute. I've been getting A's since Gymboree.

Bart:I was trying to breed the hamster with the lizard... to create an unholy supercreature...

Bart:when I saw an even worse crime against nature.

Skinner:While the kids are out getting their nits picked, we can have our own private 'cootie call.'

Krabappel · Skinner:Oh, you talk too much. Let's do it on Martin's desk. - It is usually the cleanest.

Bart:It was like a whole different kind of cheating.

Credit card machine:[Computerized Male Voice] Deadbeat. Deadbeat. Deadbeat.

Restaurant staff:They're getting away / Stop them, Mary Kay

Restaurant patron:Your playing, while technically proficient, lacks passion.

Marge:I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hoboes.

Homer:I had to sell it for gas money... Which I spent on a novelty horn.

Homer:Financial panther, eh?

Financial planner:Get him, Sheba!

Homer:You know how it is with cops. I'll get shot three days before retirement.

Financial planner:In the business we call it 'retirony.'

Homer:What a terrible thing to say. Now, look. You made my wife cry.

Homer · Financial planner:Just give the word, and I'll cut him off. - I couldn't ask you to do that. - Consider it done.

Homer:Marge, your posture looks terrible.

Financial planner · Homer:your intelligence profile indicates that you're too... 'stupid' to stick to a budget. - Yes. Go on.

Financial planner:I'm a financial planner, not a financial consultant.

Financial planner:I know you're not a deaf-mute, Mr. Simpson. We've been talking for the last 20 minutes.

Mr. Burns:Why not write a musical about the common cat or the king of Siam?

Mr. Burns:Whoa. Whoa. Slow down there, maestro. There's a new Mexico?

Mr. Burns:Well, with the old ball and chain gone, maybe I can finally have a little fun at the office.

Mr. Burns:You've made a powerful enemy today, my friend.

Homer:Oh, I... concur. Word-a-day Calendar.

Mr. Burns:This must be some sort of cafetorium.

Homer:That's the sneeze guard. You have to lean under it to get salad or sneeze on stuff.

Homer:Well, sir-You see, sir, I've worked here a long time... and my wife has a game leg. And my kids have game things as well.

Mr. Burns:I'm a bored and joyless old man. Give me a 'larf.'

Homer · Mr. Burns:At Lenny? But he's a war hero. - Well, let's decorate him then.

Lenny:Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!

Mr. Burns:What say I make you my executive in charge of recreation? No. No. Better yet, my prank monkey.

Mr. Burns:I can't have my little monkey running around in rags.

Comic Book Guy:Oh, if only the real chicks went down this easy.

Mr. Burns:Look at that comic book fellow calmly eating candy like a Spaniard.

Comic Book Guy:And I'd like an hour on the holodeck with Seven of Nine.

Comic Book Guy:Oh! No! What are you doing? Good, fair, poor!

Homer:Uh, no, thanks. I'll just eat it here.

Comic Book Guy:Good, fair, poor! [Sobbing]

Mr. Burns · Homer:There. [Whimpers] D'oh!

Mr. Burns:Why, he doesn't know the meaning of the word 'gay.'

Homer:I made a boom-boom.

Homer:Baby made a boom-boom.

Homer:Business stuff. Uh, downsizing... e-solutions, the glass ceiling.

Grampa · Homer:What do you do with the $68 I send your mother every month? - Weekday Dad wanted a DVD player.

Homer:Why do I have to do the Lindy Hop?

Homer:That's it. Twenty-three skiddoo, 24... 25 skiddoo.

Zoo narrator:pandas only feel the slightest tickle from these powerful electric shocks.

Zoo narrator:Ohh. She's saying 'I love you.'

Zoo Announcer:Hey, there's our resident bull panda, Ping Ping. With any luck, folks, these two will become very, very close, if you know what I mean.

Zoo narrator:Oh, look. She's presenting. We thought this would take years to happen.

Zoo narrator:Ping Ping just asked Sim Sim to marry him... and I think she just said yes.

Bart · Lisa · Homer:Dad? The panda was you? Did you see Daddy dance? They all saw me dance.

Homer:Yes. I humiliate myself for fistfuls of cash.

Mr. Burns:That other panda gave some unexpected 'zazz to the festivities, eh?

Mr. Burns:Too busy trying to keep my sides from splitting. It's happened before.

Mr. Burns:Oh, shut up, you tub of guts.

Homer:Yes, I may be naked and reeking of panda love... but I've got to stop this before it goes too far.

Homer:Take that back... for $903.

Mr. Burns:Well, well. It looks like my monkey has evolved into a man. A poor man.

Homer:Wha- Oh, why did he have to say that extra thing?

Homer:I see what you're saying. I need to buy a gun.

Mr. Costington:I've had a bit of a shoe-sniffing problem myself.

Mr. Costington:I'm still not allowed on the third floor.

Kent Brockman:the thing downtown that's open... right next to the men's shelter.

Bart · Lisa:'Rusty' the Clown? Ah, Springfield gets the lamest balloons. Are you kidding? There's Funky Winkerbean!

Bart · Lisa:Over here, Funky! - Look, it's the Noid. Avoid the Noid. He ruins pizzas.

Leeza Gibbons:The papier-mâché is composed entirely of broken treaties.

Mr. Burns · Homer:Not for one million dollars? [Gasps] Oh, so much money. But Santa can't be evil. But it's so much money.

Leeza Gibbons:Wait a minute, Kent. That is not candy. That's fish guts.

Moe:Oh! Why, Santa? Why?

Lisa · Burns:But if you're here, who's that on the float? Ho, ho, ho! Merry 'Fishmas'!

Mr. Burns:Ho, ho, ho! Merry 'Fishmas'!

Homer:Let's just say Lisa gave me an early Christmas present: The gift of dignity.

Homer:Shh! [Homer] Baby made a boom-boom.