The Lastest Gun In The West

Bart:A - ha! A free baseball!

Bart:A shiny new dime! A shinier new dime!

Ice cream vendor:Could you possibly eat some free ice cream?

Bart · Marge:Mom! A dog ate my clothes! Nice try, but we're still going to Riverdance.

Homer:D'oh!

Milhouse:You know that new baby brother Ralph's been bragging about? It's just a pinecone.

Lisa · Homer:Dad, it's a documentary on the homeless. Oh, right.

Homer:Really? Ooh! This I gotta see.

Milhouse · Ralph:Bart's a goner. Anyone want to be my new best friend? I will! Great! Finally, I'll be the dominant one.

Milhouse · Ralph:Be quiet. Yes, sir.

Nelson:Ha-ha! Bart's family is poor!

Bart:Eat my short stories!

Bart:Hey, wait a minute. These animals are stuffed. Except that one.

Buck:This one's from Gunfight at the Museum of Natural History.

Buck · Bart:Who? Yeah, that's right. Buck McCoy.

Buck · Bart:Who? Yeah, that's right. The David O. Selznick.

Buck:and I ain't not no un-dummy.

Buck:He soils as much as he cleans.

Buck:And directed one. And he got the 'film by' credit.

Marge:Hi, honey. Where's that vicious dog? I made him a biscuit.

Homer:He was bigger than opium!

Buck:Then Six Brides For Seven Brothers.

Buck:Just drinking, fighting and tripping horses with wires.

Buck:Me-tal.

Buck McCoy:Everything tastes better when it's lassoed!

Buck:Now how the hell would I do that?

Bart:I guess you're not going to have an adventure this week.

Buck:they're thinking of spraying your old man's workspace for ticks.

Homer:Horse-riding lessons, the finest makeup, delicious studio food.

Homer:On top of which, I don't look bald.

Marge:Rattlesnake meat, varmint kabobs and refried whiskey.

Bart:Don't listen to them, Buck! It's an ambush! They're trying to jump your claim! Take him outside. I love you, Buck!

Buck:One of the wheels broke off my chair today, but I didn't make a movie about it.

Buck:It only lasted a year, but we did 360 episodes,

Buck:Remember kids, Drunken Cowboy brand whiskey is smooth as milk!

Buck:Well, that ad was aimed at children who were already heavy drinkers.

Buck:It seems like all I did was shoot hippies.

Buck:The Western went the way of the evening newspaper and polio.

Bart:We can have showdowns at the schoolyard and use nerds as Indians.

Bart:Hey, you're not fun, you're fat!

School children:I'm Kevin Costner in one of his Western roles! I'm a gulch!

Kent Brockman:So I guess you could say this barely qualifies as news. I'm Kent Brockman.

Homer:Can't keep it in

Krusty:Oh, good, you worked in Judge Ito.

Marge · Buck:They're dead? No, they just got lousy jobs.

Buck McCoy:Let's see, Texas or Massachusetts? Texas.

Krusty:Ooh! Right in the panhandle!

Krusty:And he's already given out all his cheers.

Buck McCoy:We don't take kindly to transvestite chimpanzees here in Pine Corners!

Buck:Oh! Like you're so perfect with your plastic mane and your painted-on spot. What's real on you? Nothing!

Buck:Did I forget to mention I'm an alcoholic?

Krusty:This is horrible. My spit-takes all have blood in them.

Krusty:Sorry don't suture my colon! And you're off my show forever!

Homer:That painting is made of liquor.

Buck:Gold! Gold! Beautiful gold! Nuggets as big as your fists!

Buck:Well, I don't see how it is. Nobody's even told me your name yet.

News reporter:A hero! A hero! A hero!

Buck:And you're no Howard Hawks.

Buck:Whoa! There's nothing wrong with a little 'hey-hey!'

Bank robber:I'm firing at the lasso, but the bullets just go through the middle!

Bank robber:It's the ultimate weapon.

Bart:Well, there's Krusty, Itchy, Scratchy, Poochie, America's Fire Fighters, and then you, Dad.

Buck:Goodbye, Bart! Never bother me again!