Gump Roast

Chief Wiggum:Hold it right there, Forrest Plump!

Chief Wiggum:Oh, behave!

Chief Wiggum:Luke, I am your father / Shagadellic

Chief Wiggum:Hey, hey, hey. I didn't ask for your life story.

Homer:Things started out great. I ate what my mother ate.

Baby Homer:Let go! Let go!

Chief Wiggum:Hey, Pete! Pete! They fixed the Coke machine!

Abraham Simpson:Jack and Jill went up the hill and... Jill came tumbling after. The end.

Abraham Simpson:Say, how about a little NyQuil?

Homer:Why do birds suddenly appear / Every time you are near?

Homer:She's mine!

Game show host:You just won yourselves a motorcycle! Whoo-hoo!

Marge:You know, all this danger is kind of a turn... Okay.

Homer:The day we got our elephant.

Homer:While I wait for my family, I'll tell you about the time my baby shot my boss.

Chief Wiggum:Hey, that's great, but I gotta get going. / Whoa! There's a whole 'nother row of these bad boys!

Random drivers:Get off the road, you freaking maniac! / Yeah, you jackass!

Homer:What? I can see fine.

Homer:That had nothing to do with the bucket.

Homer · Lisa:All my other senses are getting sharper. / Bart, you had pizza for lunch. / Lisa, you're extremely depressed. / As if.

Homer · Krusty:Kathleen Turner! / No! It's me, Krusty!

Homer · Krusty:Are the proceeds going to charity? / Hell, no! / Whoo-hoo!

Krusty:We're all here tonight for one reason. / To keep Homer away from the buffet!

Bart · Lisa · Krusty:Who's Mark Spitz? / What's a telegram? / Oh, forget it!

Bart · Lisa:Joy to the world, the Lord is come! / Season's greetings. Peace out.

Homer:Oh, that hurts!

Bart · Lisa · Homer:Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? No. (repeated)

Bart · Lisa · Homer:Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Yes! / Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Dad.

Homer:Isn't this that cartoon that causes seizures?

Homer:Max Power, he's the man whose name you'd love to touch / But you mustn't touch

Homer:I like pizza, I like bagels / I like hot dogs with mustard and beer

Homer:I could even eat a baby deer

Homer:I'm kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way

Mr. Burns · Audience member:Just look at all of his catastrophic nincompoopery. / Poop.

Mr. Burns:Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you gentlemen, but you seem to have me confused with a character in a fictional show.

Krusty:Carbon dating!

Grandpa Simpson · Agnes Skinner:Sweet Toledo! What's keeping that dress on? / The collective will of everyone in this room!

Agnes Skinner:You fruits wouldn't know what to do with me!

Ned Flanders · Homer:Nothing at all. Nothing at all. / Stupid sexy Flanders!

Homer:Ow! My legs! This is the worst pain ever!

Apu:Oh, dear! You have ruined my work, you flying fat man!

Homer:I want to sneer at God's creation and spit on his... / Uh-oh.

Agnes Skinner · Grandpa Simpson:Hey, Abe, you want to hook up after the show? / Yeah! To a suicide machine!

Homer:I'm sick of your lies! Secrets and lies!

Reverend Lovejoy:The Camptown ladies sing this song / Homer Simpson's breath is strong

Alien:Our planet has been observing your puny species since your planet was created 5,000 years ago by God.

Alien · Krusty:Because he is the fat, selfish epitome of modern man! / Hey, he stole my bit!

Homer:Le grill! / What the hell is that?

Homer:Why? Why must life be so hard? / Why must I fail in every attempt at masonry?

Alien:These are not tears! We are vomiting from our eyes!

Ensemble:They'll never stop the Simpsons / Have no fears / We've got stories for years

Ensemble:Sorry for the clip show / Have no fears / We've got stories for years