The Frying Game

Homer:D'oh!

Barney · Carl:If you ask me, Muhammad Ali in his prime was much better than anti-lock brakes. Yeah. But what about Johnny Mathis versus Diet Pepsi?

Moe:I cannot listen to this again!

Homer:A meditative lily pond with big, beautiful fish that fry up really good

Barney:You don't even have to feed the fish, 'cause squirrels drown in it

Homer:Put a mini-beret on your wang

Comic Book Guy:This'll really help with my speed dating. I got 400 no's

Marge:How much money did he piss away on this?

Homer:That caterpillar is screaming

Homer:What he needs is a visit from kindly old Doctor Foot

EPA Agent:You're about to kill an endangered species, the screamapillar

EPA Agent:Reversal of Freedoms Act of 1994

Homer:Without constant reassurance, it will die. It's sexually attracted to fire

Homer:Are you sure God doesn't want it to be dead? Hey, what's God gonna do? Make my wife leave me again?

Marge:If he wants to sleep with us, forget it!

Homer:Once upon a time there were three bears. The end

Homer:Oh, no! I crushed that horrible bug! What should I do?

Bart:Bury it, quickly, before anyone finds out

Lisa · Bart:I'm gonna tell! The hell you will!

Bart:Now we're in it together. There's no going back

EPA Agent:Then why don't I hear any sleep screams?

Judge:Homer Simpson, for attempted insecticide and aggravated buggery

Duffman:Duffman's pension has been mismanaged! Oh, yeah!

Corporate Lawyer:That party-hearty attitude is a registered trademark of the Duff Corporation

Homer:Lousy community service! Meals on Wheels! Eat it up or I go to jail

Elderly Woman · Homer:You smell like cobbler. Now let's not get into who smells like what

Homer:Please don't kill me! I won't tell anyone about the skeleton!

Homer:And I could bring you more victims! Like Lenny! He'd go great with wild rice!

Mrs. Bellamy:Oh, don't be such a nervous Pervis

Mrs. Bellamy:Oh, Homer, I feel like I'm talking to Bennett Cerf

Homer:Yeah, I've gotten a lot of compliments about my talking

Homer:And I can ride my bike real fast

Homer:Hey! I'm not running an employment service, you old... Oh, you mean me? I'd be delighted

Homer:Hey! I'm not running an employment service, you old... Oh, you mean me? I'd be delighted

Homer:Marge, I can't say no to a helpless old lady. They put spells on you!

Mrs. Bellamy:All I have left of my Chester is his tattered old Army jacket

Marge:Darn her socks? I say darn her!

Elderly Woman:Oh! She would fall there!

Elderly Woman:Hey, who do I have to gum to get a refill?

Elderly Woman:Don't you read enough at school, bookworm?

Homer:The Missus prefers you call me Simpson

Homer:So it's a good thing she died, from our point of view, financially

Chief Wiggum · Marge:Did you do it? Chief Wiggum! Homer and I are innocent! I'm sorry, Marge. I can't believe I tried to trick you with such an... Did you do it? No!

Homer · Chief Wiggum:Does that ever work? No. No, never does

Homer:Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I'll be back on the streets by dinnertime. You'll see

Bart · Lisa:Yeah. If Dad killed everyone he talked about killing, would any of us be here? You'd be dead a million times

Moe:Well, we've all got that voice in our heads telling us to kill. You just have to drown it out. I've been working on the railroad all the livelong day

Homer · Moe:Oh, man. What a day! I'd kill for a beer. Right away, sir. I don't want no trouble

Homer · Moe:I'd stab somebody for a pickle. Give me some peanuts. You didn't say you'd kill me. I'll kill you if you don't give me some peanuts

Tour Guide:Next on the Springfield Death Tour is the home of Marge and Homer Simpson, also known as 'H-Diddy and his Murder Ho.'

Marge · Homer:Go away! Wait, wait! That's a suggestion, not a threat

Marge:You've been through my delicates, my silkies, my dainties, and my unmentionables!

Chief Wiggum:Because I can just swipe it later from the evidence locker!

Homer · Chief Wiggum:You know, Chief, if you let us go, there's a diamond necklace in it for you. I hope you're not suggesting that I would take that necklace as a bribe. Think again, dirtbag. Because I can just swipe it later from the evidence locker!

Homer:Don't worry, Marge. I'll cut us a deal by becoming a jailhouse snitch. I know who stopped up the toilet

Foster Father:From now on, you're Dingus Squatford Jr. and Pamela E. Lee

Foster Father · Bart · Lisa:Young'uns, meet your new brother and sister. They's worth five dollars a day county money. I'm Bart. And this is Lisa. Them's city names. From now on, you're Dingus Squatford Jr. and Pamela E. Lee

Jury Foreman · Judge:Verdict? Is that what we were supposed to do? Well, in all my years on the bench... 'Cause that's what we did!

Homer:Can't you do anything? Surprise witnesses? Evidence tampering? Play the race card! Play it!

Priest:Well, then I hope you enjoy your stay in hell

Homer · Priest:Oh, go home and have sex with your wife! That's it. Bring it on!

Homer:This cannon is gonna be full when I go off. Ka-boom!

Homer:Just think of them as twinkling stars

Homer:I want to confess. I killed and robbed the old lady all by myself. Marge is completely innocent. The only thing she's guilty of is loving too much

Homer:The only thing she's guilty of is loving too much

Prison Guard:Give me your hands, boss

Warden:The governor says he hopes you're a twitcher!

Host:You're on Frame Up! That's right. Homer Simpson, you're the latest victim of the new reality show, Frame Up!

Carmen Electra:There never was a Mrs. Bellamy. Only me, Carmen Electra!

Host:Frame Up is Fox's latest hit, right after No Pants Island and Fart Date!

Chief Wiggum · Host:You tied up the judicial system, costing the city millions of dollars, just for a TV show? Yes. And I'm gonna be in the show? Yes! Can Eddy and Lou have producer credits? Yup!

Lisa:We were in the greenroom. I had so much shrimp

Carmen Electra · Homer:Uh, Homer. My face is up here. I've made my choice