A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love

Homer:I love Chinatown, although I wish they'd stop picking on Tibet Town.

Bart:People buy them when they're small and cute. Then they flush them down the toilet. Uh, yeah. I'll have the shark butt with butt sauce.

Waiter:Would you like that with the fragrant bee bellies or the cat noses?

Waiter:Is there any way we can enhance your dining experience by hurting an animal?

Homer:Geese can be troublesome.

Homer:A guy outside told me that.

Marge:Every house has a bathroom.

Homer:You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial.

Old Chinese Man:I should be in New York writing riddles on Popsicle sticks!

Old Chinese Man:Let a frown be your umbrella. They change it to smile. A frown is a much better umbrella than a smile!

Homer:The price of stamps will climb ever higher.

Chinese Restaurant Owner:Please! Yung Mee was a hack compared to this guy!

Homer:You will invent a humorous toilet lid.

Homer:Your store is being robbed, Apu.

Barney:That fortune really nailed me, and my winning ways.

Sea Captain:Yarr! I'll enjoy that.

Mr. Burns:Ooh! Me sorry! Me no speaky Chiny!

Mr. Burns:General Gao, you're a bloodthirsty fool, but your chicken is delectable.

Smithers:That was my thumb.

Smithers:Well, it's just you and me here, sir.

Mr. Burns:No time for jokes, Smithers. Come along. We're going womanizing.

Burns:So I foreclosed on her mortgage and took her cats.

Gloria:I've gone five minutes without saying, 'Well, I never!'

Mr. Burns:Damn that Pennybags! Between him and Scrooge McDuck, all the best ankle is taken!

Mr. Burns:I'd always be second place to some kitten stuck in a tree.

Mr. Burns:This has been the worst Flag Day ever.

Mr. Burns:Now, see here, Flatfoot!

Mr. Burns:You can lift my wiper any day.

Mr. Burns:O frabjous day! She said yes!

Smithers:He'll pick you up at 7:00. Wear a petticoat.

Marge · Lisa · Marge:I can't stand to see a man single. Some people enjoy being alone, Mom. No. Everyone should be paired up.

Mr. Burns:Well, I've never dated anyone with their original hair and teeth.

Gloria:You're a nice guy, Monty. You're always laughing and tenting your fingers.

Gloria:I really feel safe with you. It's like going out with my brother.

Mr. Burns:like piloting motor coaches and collecting dog waste.

Mr. Burns:It's not important how old you are on parchment. It's how old you feel in the humors.

Mr. Burns:Play along, chubsy. There's a pie in it for you.

Homer:He ran his own casino, stole the Loch Ness monster, got shot by a baby, and blotted out the sun!

Homer:These would stop Joan Collins herself!

Mr. Burns:Yes. That's totally voluntary.

Mr. Burns:You mean Young Man Burns.

Mr. Burns:I'm going to make such love to you that you'll forget all about Rudolph Valentino.

Mr. Burns:It was made from the pockets of the pocket fox, an animal that only existed for three weeks in the 16th century.

Mr. Burns:Clean out your desk. You're gone.

Homer:Did you hear that? That 'excellent' was excellent.

Mr. Burns:We have to... Expel some urine!

Mr. Burns:My biological clock is ticking. I could be dead again soon.

Mr. Burns:I think you'll find that red ball more 'engaging.'

Mr. Burns:Spectacular! Now we must celebrate. I'll get some Champagne-iola!

Snake:I told the guard that I was going out for a pack of cigarettes. Then I totally stabbed him.

Snake:Then I totally stabbed him.

Snake:The cops were chasing us. I needed to lighten the load. And, um, protect you.

Mr. Burns:Let go of her, or I'll scream!

Mr. Burns:Callooh! Callay! We're in luck! They had a magnum at the shoe counter.

Gloria:Homer just comes along on our dates and carries us to the bedroom.

Snake:You're dating that old trilobite? Gross!

Mr. Burns:He was my sexually-virile best friend

News Anchor:Well, according to our audience insta-poll, 46% say you're too old, and 37% say she's a skank.

Snake:I think his name was Gustafson.

Gloria:You know what would be surprising? A foot massage.

Lou:Hey! Hey, I want that lawyer what wears the cowboy hat.

Lou:That's a sweet shot. He's tied to a chair.

Chief Wiggum:Well, we have an officer sneaking around the house, Kent, so unless they have a television in there or can hear my loud talking...

Snake:I don't like bothering people at home.

Chief Wiggum:She's completely hairless, like those cats.

Burns:I don't care if she's Miss Hairless America! I'm spoken for.

Chief Wiggum:You? No offense, but you're a decrepit monkey skeleton.

News Reporter:Channel 6 is hot, hot, hot!

Homer:What about the wiener? A guy on TV lifted a can of paint with his.

Snake · Homer · Snake · Homer · Snake:You mean a Vandyke? No, a Vandyke has a moustache, doesn't it? I think it can. Are you talking about a soul patch? No! Wait. Maybe.

Homer · Snake:You mean a Vandyke? No, a Vandyke has a moustache, doesn't it? I think it can. Are you talking about a soul patch?