Sweets And Sour Marge

Homer:D'oh!

Homer:A library selling books? If I don't want them for free, why would I want to pay for them?

Comic Book Guy:The full Leonard Nimoy cycle, I Am Not Spock, then I Am Spock, and finally, I Am Also Scotty

Bart · Lisa:That's what we look like inside? It's disgusting! Oh. That lady swallowed a baby!

Lisa:Helen Fielding's giving them pigs Bridget Jones' diarrhea

Homer · Marge:She said tavern! I'm going to Moe's! I never agreed to that rule!

Moe:Most clothespins swallowed, inserted... Here we go. Clipped to face and neck. 116.

Moe:No. The best book you've ever seen is Tom Clancy's Op-Center. That thing knows me better than I know myself.

Moe:Francis of Assisi. Francis of Assisi.

Homer · Lisa:Do you think I could run a mile in three-and-a-half minutes? Only on Mars. The Simpsons are going to Mars! So pack your... Or maybe I'll think of something else.

Lisa · Homer:Only on Mars. / The Simpsons are going to Mars! So pack your... / Or maybe I'll think of something else.

Record official:Technically the cobra would get the record. He's the one playing.

Homer:Yeah. They're called Congress!

Official:Like that town that made the world's largest omelet. Denver? No, Spanish.

Homer · Groundskeeper Willie:Finally this town will have a real claim to fame. Aye. We can stop all the lies.

Mayor Quimby:I haven't seen this much flesh since Elke Sommer's hot tub party. Seriously, Elke's great. Always there for sick kids. Doing great things.

Comic Book Guy:All right, I'll make base camp here and try for the summit tomorrow.

Otto:Dude, you're touching my hand! Ewe!

Comic Book Guy:Goodbye, cruel world. Hello, ironic twist!

Otto · Unknown:I am so far from my car. Dude, you're lying on top of me! Dude?

Official:Springfield is the world's fattest town!

Homer:Woo-hoo! In your face, Milwaukee!

Mayor Quimby:This town will no longer be known as 'America's Sorrow.' Today I declare Springfield 'Fat City, USA!'

Carl:Now that everyone's so open about being fat, I can finally stop sucking in my gut.

Bart · Marge:Mom, we're out of Frosting Gobs. Here, have one of my fudge-stuffed toaster pies.

Homer:Yeah. You can't improve on nature.

Homer · Apu:Sugar-free donuts! No, that is sugar with free donuts.

Barney · Apu:Is my carton of Pixy Stix in? No, it hasn't come in yet. Damn it! When they come in, you call me at this number.

Apu:everything in this store, from the honey-glazed cauliflower to the Choco-Blasted Baby Aspirin

Garth Motherloving:Hey, Marge. I'm not up on the current slang, but do the kids still say, 'Get the hell out of my office'?

Garth Motherloving:While we're at it, why don't I just change my name back to Hitler?

Marge · Garth Motherloving:But we're on hiatus. Everyone's everywhere. Note to Marge. Get out!

Marge:If you looked up meanie-beanie-fo-feanie in the dictionary, you'd see his picture.

Bart · Marge:Were there Oompa Loompas? There was one in a cage, but he wasn't moving.

Homer:Oh, yeah! Like Erin Brockovich. The prostitute with the heart of gold.

Lisa:Today's law schools are churning out 2.1 lawyers for every person in America

Lawyer crowd:Pick me! Pick me! Me so litigious! Pick me! I just passed the bar, see?

Gil:Oh, I've made too many enemies selling suckless vacuum cleaners and Rick James Bibles.

Chief Wiggum · Ralph:Sugar's made my Ralphie hyperactive. I'm happy and angry!

Chief Wiggum · Ralph:Sugar's made my Ralphie hyperactive. / I'm happy and angry!

Cletus:Figure them sugar folk owe me for what they done to my cousin, Dia-Betty.

Comic Book Guy:I'm trying to slim down so I can fit into Momma's coffin. That's my reward.

Disco Stu:Disco Stu got hooked on the white stuff back in the 70s.

Homer:If it isn't the woman who's too busy saving the world to save her own marriage.

Marge · Homer:Why didn't you just turn off the oven? I was hoping we could do that together!

Professor Frink:Out of curiosity, was it the hoyvin or the mayvin or was it the whole gahoyving thing that I do?

Professor Frink:Candy was just a sugar delivery system. We thought we were God.

Garth Motherloving · Lawyer · Judge:I'll kill you while you sleep. Objection! I'll allow it.

Count Fudgula:but I had to quit when my fangs succumbed to gingivitis. Now all my victims have to be mashed up.

Judge:Sir, this is a house of justice, not a sugar shack.

Kent Brockman · Marge:Thank you, Erin Choco-snitch! That was a group effort. Well, good work, Blue-hair-in-Brocko-witch. Okay, that was mine.

Chief Wiggum · Lou:Even this promotional Johnny Depp from the movie Chocolat? We melted for him. Now he's gonna do likewise.

Chief Wiggum:It's not even singed. Even the fire doesn't want them.

Groundskeeper Willie:They're not riding the white horse anymore.

Dr. Hibbert · Homer:Mr. Simpson, you're licking blood and VapoRub. Part of me knew that.

Count Fudgula:I'm a monster! Don't look at me!

Homer · Moe:Oh, you mean Tennessee? No, the island of San Glucose.

Marge:Dessert's on! I steamed some limes!

Moe · Homer:I think he's grossed out by some seaweed. Ew! I touched it! Over.

Moe · Homer:Has everyone keistered their personal supply? 'Cause I sure haven't.

Moe · Barney:No! I'm having one. Remember what I told you about running away from your troubles? Yeah. Let's do it!

Sea Captain:This sugar shark is delicious. Ow! Hey, he bit me back!

Judge:Indeed, Marge. And now that I think of it, I wildly exceeded my authority, and I declare the sugar ban over!

Homer:No, Marge. I love when you do that. You're a regular Caring-a-lot-ovich.

Sea Captain:Hey, I found some pearls. No, wait. They're just my teeth. Well, I can still make a necklace out of them.