Cedoh

Scratchy:The Big Bopper? Ritchie Valens? Buddy Holly? No! [ALL HISSING]

Homer:You get to stay downstairs watching TV with the sound turned way up.

Homer:Oh, we'll be upstairs in the bedroom making lovely rope ladders... in case there's a fire.

Homer · Bart · Lisa:Children, so naive. - What? - Who's naive? I didn't say anything. So naive.

Homer:Thanks for the love tip, 60 Minutes II.

Homer:Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood. I ate your granny. And now I'm in the mood for love.

Homer · Marge:Homer plays lullaby instead of sexy music, Marge falls asleep

Homer:Oh, no. That's Maggie's mixtape. Then Maggie must have gotten... [Tom Jones' 'Sex Bomb' playing]

Homer:Shut down on Valentine's Day. That's supposed to be a gimme.

Professor Frink:Oh, 'glayvin.' Oh, nice lady android with the true-to-life 'floivic.'

Homer:Suicide, eh? That's it. Thank you, outdoor advertising. You've saved my marriage, and not for the first time.

Dr. Hibbert:Oh, yes. I put myself through medical school... dancing under the name Malcolm Sex.

Cletus:Cletus: 'Well, I'm here to win back Brandine. She been making eyes at that photographer what come to document our squalor.'

Dr. Hibbert:Homer, take this quarter, call your mother. Tell her you're never going to be a stripper.

Homer · Dr. Hibbert:Homer: 'Three coats' when asked if he's already oiled, then 'That oil was for the entire class'

Homer · Dr. Hibbert:Aren't you gonna chuckle? There's nothing to chuckle about.

Richdale · Homer:You, the greasy, naked, bald man. - Ah! You know everything about me.

Richdale · Homer:Unh, the trick is to blot the oil. Wiping just pushes it around. You're preaching to the choir, man.

Richdale:God, look at you, losers. I can read your minds. Ooh, ooh, I'm afraid of success. It's pizza's fault I'm fat. Oh, I'll stop sucking later.

Richdale:You see this watch? It's jammed with so many jewels, the hands can't move.

Homer:Well, I drew it on. See?

Richdale:That's a Bentley Mark 12. They gave one to me... one to Steven Spielberg, and they shot the guy who made it.

Homer:I don't wanna die. I'm so young.

Homer:I was tired of putting my keys in that bowl like a caveman. I finally harnessed the awesome power of the hook.

Carl · Lenny:I say Phantom Menace sucked more. I say Attack of the Clones sucked more.

Mr. Burns:Oh, have you now? Well, huzzah, huzzah. I'll just throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight.

Mr. Burns:And what book is that? The Ape Who Wanted a Big Bonus?

Mr. Burns:Stop wasting my time, you corn-fed man-cow.

Homer · Marge:He just steps over everyone who works for him... taking pleasure in making us feel small. Oh, Homie. Don't let it get you down. So Mr. Burns doesn't take you seriously. Big whoop. Who gives a doodle? Whoopie ding dong doo.

Marge:So my husband goes to a bar every night. Whoop-de-do. Who gives a bibble? Gabba, gabba, hey.

Homer:Moe, we've been complaining about him every night for eight years.

Moe:Or give him some face time with sweet lady brick.

Homer:Wait till he steps on this flaming bag of, ah... Lisa's college fund?

Burns:Heh, talk about your runaway government.

Mr. Burns:The legal owner of this plant would, Canary M. Burns.

Mr. Burns:Why, Standard Oil was once owned by a half-eaten breakfast.

Bart · Lisa · Ned:From my room, I can hear everything. Me too. The walls are paper-thin. Ugh. Hi. And it wouldn't hurt you to put up some curtains.

Homer:Now, fly to the Canary Islands.

Mr. Burns:Ah! Good Lord. That canary was supposed to be my pigeon.

Homer · Mr. Burns:Hello. - Yes, yes, hello. - Now I need to find a patsy. - Hello. You're quite the friendly fellow. - But right now I'm looking for a patsy. - Hello.

Mr. Burns · Homer:This moon-faced simpleton... is continually interrupting my search for a patsy. Why to...? Hello.

Homer:That's right. And as my first act... Mr. Burns, you're fired.

Mr. Burns:So the caterpillar has emerged from its cocoon... as a shark with a gun for a mouth.

Homer:Eat crowd, old man!

Homer:And today begins my reign of... terrific management.

Homer:Unlike Mr. Burns, I will respect you, the working-class slob... because we are all equals. And now, as I ascend this crystal staircase to my office... I say, avert your gaze.

Homer:Now, open it again and put a walnut in there.

Mr. Burns:Now I'm forcibly retired, I feel I should give back to society... and do some charitable work. But first, I want to take a lot of opium.

Foreign vendor:Drugs? Everything is drugs. Banana made of drugs, monkey made of drugs. Look, all market made of drugs. Our money is made of drugs.

Assistant · Homer:Homer, I'll go over the year-end profit forecast... if you'll stop looking at my boobs. - No deal.

Bart:Hey, that's a printer port, not a finger hole.

Homer · Bart:And I'm the man at the ballpark everyone hates. - The umpire? - No, Billy Crystal.

Mr. Burns · Homer:Burns: 'I worked here for three score and twain.' Homer: 'That's 62 years in the new English.'

Mr. Burns:This was my fiancée, Gertrude. I was working so hard, I missed our wedding, honeymoon... and our divorce proceedings. She died of loneliness. Loneliness and rabies.