Old Yeller Belly

Bart · Martin · Nelson · Database · Milhouse:Teacher hit me with a ruler / I cracked her in the bean / With a frozen Jimmy Dean / And she ain't my teacher no more / Because she's dead

Bart:Girls are yucky. Seconded and carried. A fart was detected. Martin denied it...and so was ruled to have supplied it.

Martin:These Batpants have been shredded by the Riddler. No, just your ass. That's what I call my ass.

Martin:If I understand the female mind, and I do, they're plotting against us.

Lisa:Each year we lose seven species of gumdrops

Bart:[IMITATING MARGE] Lisa, this is your mother. The doctor says your butt's too big.

Martin:No one told me there'd be pulling.

Homer:I'll build you a new tree house. One so grand...it'll be an affront to God himself.

Homer:Only losers buy wood.

Homer:This track has been abandoned since 19... Uh-oh.

Train Passenger:Nothing beats flying across the country on a train.

Homer · Bart:Did Frank Lloyd Wright have to deal with people like you? / I have no idea who Frank Lloyd Wright is. / You said his name two seconds ago. / I was just putting words together.

Homer · Bart:Homer and Bart having a nail gun fight

Amish Men:Didst thou hear that, Isaac? / Aye. Someone needs the Amish. / To the Buggymobile!

Homer:Oh, the Amish are so industrious. Not like those shiftless Mennonites.

Mennonite:Roll them bones. Three craps.

Homer:It really restores your faith in helpful weirdoes.

Homer:Who knows more about electricity than the Amish?

Homer:By going down the ladder, you're agreeing not to sue.

Homer:By going down the ladder, you're agreeing not to sue.

Homer:By going down the ladder, you're agreeing not to sue.

Homer:Head burning. Legs freezing. Middle very pleasant.

Marge:Pointy, pointy, spiky, stylish... Aah! Where's baldy?

Homer:Flames? Searing pain? A black cat? I must be in heaven.

Homer:I always thought cats were just for losers who live in apartments...until my life was saved by this sweet little kitty.

Luigi:I make you lasagna. You eat it up like the cat in the funny papers...who's not so funny.

Mayor Quimby:Today I can truly say Ich bin ein feline.

Mayor Quimby:Damn, that's a lemony cola.

Homer:I prefer catsup to ketchup. And to me, Yusuf Islam will always be Cat Stevens.

Homer:God, no. It sucks.

Lisa:He was the first openly gay dog in Hollywood.

Nazi in film:He bit me right in the Axis!

Mailman:'Grow a mustache,' says the wife. 'You'll look handsome,' says the wife.

Homer:Marge, prepare the emergency ham.

Duff Executive:He's young, he's slim, and he can stand on his hind legs. Unlike our current spokesman.

Duffman:But what about my children? Duffgirl and Dufflad?

Homer:I don't care if his name is Bony McDork. Just make the checks out to me.

Krusty:Very good. Now, let me stand on my mark between the snake and its baby...

Astronaut:How can you get a buzz chewing freeze-dried beer?

Astronaut:How can you get a buzz chewing freeze-dried beer?

Announcer:National Association of the Sellers of Alcohol.

Homer:Like eat at Arby's.

Homer:Kent, let me make this perfectly clear. I have no dog.

Bart:Who's gonna eat my homework now?

Regis:If I keep talking here, Kelly can't jump in. Come on, Suds. Toss me a bone.

Marge:That guy exploits his pets worse than Bob Guccione.

Lisa · Bart · Lisa:But show me a Simpson that isn't. / I'm not a coward. / [YELLING] / You're not a coward.

Duffman:If you have 6 liters of blood and your blood is 80 percent alcohol...how much alcohol do you have? Anyone?

Duffman:An icy-cold, full-bodied, beech wood-aged, amber-hued day in...

Barry Duffman:Then I must be Jesus. Up, up and away!

Sea Captain · Sea Captain's Mother:Mother, I served in Nam. / And you've been bitching about it for 30 years.

Bystander:Check it out. That shark's wasted. He's gone from predator to partier.

Duffman:Let me think. How did that beautiful young naked lady in Jaws make it out alive?

Announcer:Guys wanna be him, girls think they can change him.

Marge · Homer:All we have left are the earthquake ham and the condolence ham. / Marge, they're just hams, okay?

Homer · Bart:To me, that says 'I love you.' / I think he left a 'big hug' in your lunchbox.

Marge · Homer:All we have left are the earthquake ham and the condolence ham. / Marge, they're just hams, okay?

Homer:Everyone's against me.