Special Edna

Student · Other Student:Was that the war with Hitler or Merlin? - Oh, you idiot. Merlin was in Vietnam.

Student · Milhouse:Instead of writing a report, can I do a dance? [HUMMING] [MILHOUSE GRUNTS] - Sorry.

Mrs. Krabappel:Martin? He's gone now. But you gotta admire his spirit.

Skinner:Mother's neck wattle got caught in a zipper. I've, uh, got a long night of boo-boo kissing ahead of me.

Edna · Skinner:The apples weren't the point. - Then why were we going apple picking?

TV Announcer:Uncle Slam has defeated Osama bin Rotten... Here comes Secretary of Hate, Colin Kapow!

Random Man:Why did I pay for a hundred Xeroxes when I only wanted one? Well, I guess someone else will use the other 99.

Bart:Prank or study? Prank or study?

Bart · Divine Providence:What should I do, Lord? Give me a sign. [Divine intervention with copies]

Ned · Rod · Todd:Well, boys, good thing we brought the eye soap. ROD & TODD: Ow! The burning is love.

Milhouse:It's your last chance. He's probably gonna get court-martialed for this.

Bart · Milhouse:Attention, teenage boys. Take your hands off my daughter. Now, kiss each other.

Grampa:World War I? I fought in that. Of course, to enlist, I had to lie about my age.

Officer · Young Grampa:Lieutenant Simpson, you've been up for hours. Take a nap. You're no good to us cranky. But I'm not tired. [CRYING]

Bart · Grampa:Good night, sleepyhead. - Do you have to poop? - Always.

Bart · Mrs. Krabappel:F? There must be some mistake. It's as long as you asked for. - Counting six pages of ads.

Bart:Well, if I may dust off an old chestnut: Ay caramba.

Mrs. Krabappel:Ay caramba indeed.

Skinner:I was looking for my girlfriend, not Pam Dawber.

Skinner:I'll be back in three hours. Maybe less. But almost certainly more.

Bart:He's a Wiener, Mrs. K. Just say the word and his desk is full of boogers.

Mrs. Krabappel:A pity date from a 10 year old? I'll take it.

Documentary Narrator:From the widest gully to the deepest trench... holes define who we are and where we are going.

Documentary Narrator:Even they have holes. Blowholes.

Documentary Narrator:And did you know the hole's only natural enemy is the pile?

Lisa · Homer:Dad, you bought that because it was full of gummy worms. And you only wanted those as bait to catch gummy fish.

Homer:Which I did.

Homer:Hey, they have Latin Grammys.

Judge:Dead Poets Society has destroyed a generation of educators.

Bad Teacher:Well, enough jawing. Reach for it, pilgrim. And the missiles are like, 'Oh, praise Jesus! Can I hear an amen?'

Judges:The Bart Simpson? - I thought he was an urban legend. If she's danced with the devil in the blue shorts and lived...

Announcer:Nelson Muntz, you've been nominated for Bully of the Year.

Mrs. Krabappel:I thought that nipple would haunt me forever.

Cletus:Reporter Cletus, Outhouse Times-Picayune.

Cletus:Mrs. K, if you win this here learning derby... will you forget your kith and kin and leave us all forever?

Skinner:Webster's Dictionary defines Mrs. Krabappel as-- [PAGER BEEPING]

Lisa:Wait a minute. I know where we're going. Oh, it's horrible!

Lisa:It's what people in 1965 imagined what life would be like in 1987.

Ride Announcer:Because at Eastern Airlines, world conquest is part of our master plan.

Electric Car:Hello. I'm an electric car. I can't go very fast or very far. And if you drive me, people will think you're gay.

Willie:Damn straight she will, you brunch-eating popinjay.

Willie:Make sure you fill it up with Techron gas. You don't want a case of the knocks.

Marge:Le Pizza, Der Hamburger, Seior Grilled Cheese. I hope I don't accidentally order an elephant.

Agnes:My fanny is baboon red after that car ride.

Skinner:This woman carried me for nine-and-a-half months. I was out for two weeks and then went back in.

Enron Ride Passengers:We broke even. [SCREAMING] Mm, that's good satire.

Lisa:He's never going to get up. He's got no legs.

Award Announcer:We're also pleased to announce that our winner will receive enough money... so they'll never have to teach again.

Bart · Skinner:Because I like you, I'll even do it pro boner. - It's pro bono. - I know what I said.

Soldier in Vietnam:You're gonna get your parade, down my esophagus.

Homer:Oh, who will take home the Rampy?

Little Richard:Michael Jackson just told me to shut up.

Bart:I'm sorry. I can't read. Mrs. Krabappel never taught me to read.

Mrs. Krabappel:Oh, God. I've created a Prankenstein.

Skinner:If she can teach me to love, then she can teach anything.

Agnes:Seymour! Your feelings are ugly and wrong.

Skinner:Now, I must warn you, two months' salary only bought me the ring box.

Agnes:Oh, great. Three in a bed.

Announcer:Julio Estudiante... an inner-city math teacher who taught teenage gang members that differential equations are more powerful than bullets.

Vendor · Homer:That'll be $14. [HOMER WAILING]

Pie Contest Judge:Open your gullet, you human blob.

Marge:I'm on vacation.