Treehouse Of Horror Xiv

Bart:Good grief, This candy's terrible. Circus peanuts, raisins, nicotine gum, a library card...

Lisa · Bart:You got all the good stuff! - And yet and I'm still not satisfied.

Unknown character:You thieving hussy!

Homer:Eat fire! Punks! What the... I'm still cold.

Kang/Kodos:Pathetic humans! They are showing a halloween episode... in November!

Kang/Kodos:Oh, still thinking about halloween. We've already got our christmas decorations up.

Grim Reaper · Homer:I AM DEATH. - Death? We don't want any.

Marge · Bart:Bart! Run like a wind(pronounced as waind)! - Mom. It's wind.

Marge:Well, I only read it in books.

Bart:Please don't take me! Take Milhouse! We all know there's no happy ending there.

Lisa · Homer:Does this mean I'll never cancel the Jim Belushi show? - I guess so. - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Frankie the Squealer:If I know I'll tell you, I swear! I'd better call my wife, tell her I'll be late.

Fat Tony:If I knew this would take so long, I'd put on a TV.

Pizza Delivery Guy · Fat Tony:Pizza! There's money on the counter. No tip. - Are you miserable bastard? - That's why I'm up there.

Homer:You were a busboy in the restaurant of life. Clearing away the oldies and the sickies and the chokies.

Homer:And you made NASCAR racing exciting.

Homer:Check it out! I finally found a dead guy's clothes that fits me!

Homer:I might occasionally kill out of anger, or to illustrate a point. But I am not a Grim Reaper...

Jasper:Where's doug? Never mind. I'm death now. I liked doug.

Lisa:My dad's job takes into all parts of the community. He performs a valuable service. But it's often misunderstood. Like a vulture or the flesh eating maggot.

Homer:Pardon me. Coming through. Rest in peace. You're dead. Take a dirt nap. Meet the worms.

Homer:Ok. Who am I giving the finger to today?

Homer · Patty:This isn't Marge. This is her fat sister. Selma. - It's Patty. Chump!

Frink:The Nobel Prize? Finally! So it's for what? My whole deal?

Frink:If I say no, do I still win?

Frink:They must've awarded me for my invention of a hammer with a screw driver on the other end. It's convenient.

Nobel Committee:It was a slow year. Yes.

Frink:Mother used to say we get along like positrons and anti-nutrinos. Yeah, I'm geek.

Frink:he was one of those Heman scientists who work on the atom bomb by day and slept with Marilyn Monroe by night and sold secrets to the Russians at lunch.

Young Frink:I get seesick taking a shower! Clean, but nauseous!

Frink Sr.:You've disgraced the name of John Nerdelbaum Frink.

Frink · Nobel Committee:Does shark do that? Yes. He was testing out a new blood-based suntan lotion.

Frink:You know now that I have my hammer-screw-driver, I could reanimate him, without the needless switching of tools.

Nobel Committee:Well, that's always tedious. Annoying!

Frink · Frink Sr.:Now, we had to replace several vital organs with machinery, but that doesn't make you any less of a man. - Except you have no penis.

Nobel Committee:It's a lot like the 20th, except everybody's afraid and the stock market is much lower.

Ned Flanders:Well I did finish first in the walk for the cure, of homosexuality!

Ned Flanders:Confucious? And Milton Berle? Boy I have been barking up the wrong tree!

Comic Book Guy:Mother always said: 'A curvy spine is the double roller coaster.'

Frink Sr. · Comic Book Guy:Comic book guy's ass won't fit in couch. - You may keep my posterior, just please return the Jaba the Butt tattoo.

Jennifer Garner · Dr. Herschbach:You know Dr. Herschbach, our jobs are actually not that different. - I disagree.

Frink Sr.:I'm here to accept the Nobel Prize for stupid.

Frink Sr.:You all have such big hearts and such big brains with large juicy dripping with knowledge heads!

Dr. Herschbach:And I thought Halle Berry went nuts during her acceptance speech.

Frink Sr.:Muffins are suprisingly high in calories. The pyramids were actually built by Sears.

Dr. Herschbach:This is more violent than the hip-hop worlds.

Dr. Herschbach:I disagree!

Frink Sr.:I maybe a soul, but I'm hungry. Can you throw in a little mazzard. Maybe a nice pizza pit(?)

Frink Sr. · Frink:That's a good shwandler - Oh, I waited so long to hear you say that. What dose it mean, is it dirty?

Bart:Superman vs Patty Hearst. Evel Knievel jumps the Jackson 5. Batman and Rhoda.

Bart:Wow, she looks like a background character in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.

Lisa · Bart:Do you realize what this means? - Yeah, but you say it first!

Lisa · Bart:Lets get really far ahead on our homework! Wait till the other kids see we're already on the RED unit of Adventures In Reading.

Principal Skinner:Due to budget cuts, music class will now have a two drink minimum.

Mob:Come, let us kill them before learning of the magical secret which they possess!

Bart:Yeah, but you say it first.

Milhouse · Bart:I'm gonna play naked basketball. - No, you are not.

Milhouse:Yeah, I thought I'd be happier if my parents back together. But it kind of hollow.

Bart:Yeah. And I can't run too fast after 15 years of eating nothing but gummy worms. I'm gonna quit tomorrow, I swear.

Homer · Lisa:Like why is my nose jammed full of army men. Oh, come on! Don't you get it? Bart stopped time with his magic stopwatch.

Lisa:Jealous much? Why can't I tinker with the fabric of existence?