I Annoyed Grunt Bot

Homer:D'oh! (SCREAMING) (BRAKES SCREECHING)

Homer:Bart, that creepy kid is here.

Milhouse:That's me. (READING) Oh!

Chief Wiggum · Lou:it sounds like a motorcycle gang. And we don't have backup! We'd better lay low. But Chief, what if they like pizza? Way ahead of you, Lou.

Ned Flanders · Rod Flanders:That is one bitchin' bike. Daddy said a cuss word! Lighten up, Roddy.

Nelson:Thanks for the tassels. My mom can wear these on her boobs at work.

Bart · Homer · Marge:A ten-speed bike? What did your mother say? She said, 'Yes.' MARGE: I said no! I'm confused. Which is it? MARGE: it's no! His old bike is fine. Yeah, the kitchen lady's right.

Bart · Homer:I see. So if my old bike didn't work, I would automatically get a new one? That's right. No questions asked. (LAUGHS)

Bart:Boy, I'm really gonna miss you. We've really had some great... Ooh! A Mercedes!

Dr. Hibbert:What the Halle Berry?

Dr. Hibbert:This was a wakeup call. From now on, I'll keep my eyes on the road and off my Kool & the Gang air freshener. Celebration's over, boys.

Lisa:It's called 'Cat Math.' 'Four paws, plus one tail,' 'plus nine lives equals one special cat.' 'One special cat minus nine lives equals one sad little girl.'

Marge:Oh, Cinnamon! It should've been me who chewed through that extension cord!

Homer:Here we go. Now it starts with the fees.

Homer · Bart:I can make a bike. I made you. Yeah, great workmanship. Hey, that's gonna win you a lot of bar bets someday.

Homer:Man, this is so confusing. What the hell is this?

Bart · Nelson:I'm riding a unicycle with my pants down. This should be every boy's dream. Ha-ha! Your dad's not handy.

Homer · Bart:Son, are you okay? I brought a homemade first aid kit! It's spring-loaded for quick access. (SCREAMING)

TV Announcer:'And you won't be teed off when you come in' 'because our steaks are cooked to par-fection.' 'Our leader bar is filled with scrumptious...' Two more pages? I'm not reading this.

Bart:But you're good at other things like eating while driving! That's something! And nobody gets madder at the news!

Marge:It's written by a Rabbi, who surfs!

Lisa:Too fluffy, too Siamese, too needy, too stuck up. Infected eye, clearly a skunk.

Homer:There's nothing worse than the look on a boy's face when he says, 'Dad, I don't think you can build a fully functional robot.'

Homer:If you can't build a robot, be a robot. That's it!

Krusty Clock:KRUSTY CLOCK: It's Tuesday, the first. If you live in Krusty Brand low-income housing, your rent is due!

Homer:'Dear Bart, if this robot doesn't prove I love you,' 'then you can both go to hell.'

Homer:Oh, the beer's gone. I'll have to suck it out of the shag.

Lisa:You plop the cat food down, You toss the tin can out, You drop the worm pills in, And you stir it all about, You add a lot of lovin' and you serve it to your cat, That's what it's all...

Homer:You're a Buddhist. So you know your cats are now reincarnated as a higher form of life. Like a dog or a snowman.

Security · Comic Book Guy:Are you here with your children, sir? Yeah, my two kids, Screw and You.

Audience member:He's killing him softly with his saw. Killing him softly? With his saw.

Lisa · Marge:You got to name me. You should be glad I did. Your father wanted to call you 'Bartzina.'

Lisa:'Coltrane, you were with us only briefly' 'but we will always have the ride home from the shelter.' And, um, I guess that's it. Amen.

Marge · Lisa:And Lord, if you think I'm making lemon bars for your bake sale Sunday, you better stop killing our cats. Mom, I'm not sure God responds to threats and intimidation. It's the only way to talk to bullies.

Marge:It's the only way to talk to bullies.

Grampa:In my day, mechanical men had funnel heads and showed respect! Then it all changed when they got the vote and started tinkering with our memories.

Homer:There he sits with a pen and a yellow pad, What a handsome lad That's my boy, B-R-L-F-Q spells mom and dad, Well, that ain't too bad 'Cause that's my boy

Homer:Well, I've been busy, Son. They really need me over at the nuclear 'plank.'

Announcer:Smashius Clay, AKA Killhammad Aieee!

Bart · Robot:There are many people I'd like to thank for this award. My wife Anjelica Houston. This is for you, Angie. We did it! ROBOT: Speeches cannot be longer than 30 seconds. (SCREAMS)

Homer:I just installed a chip that makes it 10% more bloodthirsty.

Crazy Cat Lady:Hey, hey! These cats'd rather take their chances in the back room than go home with you.

Homer · Bart:That's what we in the business call a 'biggie.' Business? What business? The business of being a dad.

Lisa:I'm much happier petting this leaf.

Lisa:Look, you don't want to get involved with a girl like me. My cats have a nasty habit of waking up dead. Now go. Cough me out of your life like a bad fur ball.

Lisa · Skinner:That's really a cheat, isn't it? I guess you're right, Principal Tamzarian.

Bart · Homer:That moan sounded almost human. HOMER: The hell it did.

Bart:Even though you're the sole provider for a family of five!

Audience Member:That robot has given birth to a man!

Audience member:That robot has given birth to a man!

Frink · Homer:He knows just how I like my martinis. Full of alcohol.

Homer · Bart:Bart, all that button ever did was send a mild electric shock up my backside. Why did you make it do that? To keep me focused.

Homer · Official:Show me where in the rulebook it says that a human can't be a robot. Right here. Rule One.

Bart · Homer:Well, you did disappear a lot but I've gone whole summers without seeing you. (LAUGHS) Yeah. I'm pretty unreliable.