Treehouse Of Horror Xv

Kang:This one keeps eating himself...

Kodos · Kang:Am I the only one here who's in horrible pain? / You're the only one who won't shut up about it.

Kodos:Cool! I'm vomit!

Marge · Homer:Homer, what are you doing? / Trying to get a Frisbee off the roof.

Ned:Concussion... diddily... Hemorrhage... Doodily... Injury... Bodily...

Dr. Hibbert:Ned, you nearly died... of a brain tumor. Thank goodness that bowling ball knocked it out of your head.

Homer · Ned:Hey, while you're there, can you get my Frisbee off the ledge? / All right, but I swear to God, this is the very last time.

Homer:Just because you foresaw Dr. Hibbert's death... doesn't mean you can see into the future. It was just a sinister co-inky-dink.

Milhouse:Some bullies threw my shoes over a telephone wire... with me in them!

Homer:What the Family Circus?

Homer:Do me! Do me!

Homer:So, what'd I die of? Too much happiness? Naked girl avalanche?

Lisa:In this neighborhood, who hasn't?

Lisa:Not in the face.

Homer:Well, sometimes there's three.

Ned · Homer:Quit whacking my barrel! / Never!

Homer · Homer:Today is Lenny's birthday, and they're having ice cream cake. / But ice cream cake!

Lenny:Yeah, well, you know, you got to take the bitter with the sweet.

Homer · Ned · Homer:Press... destruct button. / Don't do it! Don't do it! You'll kill everyone! / Do it... do it! Kill everyone!

Homer:Sure is taking me a long time to reach this button.

Homer:Everything's coming up Homer.

Marge:Yeah, well, the joke's on you, smart guy. The garage made it to Heaven, too.

Homer:Hmm, I wonder if I could blow up Heaven?

Homer:You're not the boss of me.

Bart · Dr. Bartley:What's this? A doorknob. Good show.

Chief Inspector:Lock him up till we find someone darker, boys.

Apu:We British sure eat crap.

Selma:All kettles and biscuits.

Cockney girl:Cor, blimey, skip to me loo.

Ralph · Chief Inspector:I shall never grow up. / Uh, in jail you will.

Comic Book Guy:You may examine my curios, but do not touch my oddities. Use your judgment with my gewgaws.

Missionary:I just told the natives they were having sex the wrong way.

Simon:I'm alive. I'm gonna go to America. I'll be in pictures. You'll see.

Lisa/Eliza:Burns? The evil industrialist who makes coal out of babies?

Barney:Whoa, whoa, heads up there, buddy. A rat's gnawin' off your toe.

Mr. Burns:Then I sold them all for opium. Oh, how I wish I had them back... to sell for more opium!

Homer:Opium rules!

Chief Wiggum · Ralph:It's the only way I can get Ralphie to go to sleep. / I can make opi-ohs!

Lisa:It was five minutes ago, you twit.

Comic Book Guy:And I've never known the pleasures of a woman... or a proper eating apple.

Inspector · Lisa:Hey, lots of people like eel pie. / Yeah? Well, how many of them have muttonchops?

Chief Inspector · Lou:Why can't you be more like Eddie? He never says a word against me. / That's 'cause you cut out his tongue.

Inspector:I wanted to come up with a case even you couldn't solve.

Chief Inspector:Remember me for my police work and not the murders!

Professor Frink:This comically large capsule has lifetime supplies of niacin, thiamin and riboflavin-glavin.

Marge:Shrink ray? Oh, there's always something else to buy.

Professor Frink:Now, now don't worry, my dear woman. She will be rocked gently to sleep by the stomach acid.

Mr. Burns:And, uh, while you're in there, grab as much cancer as you can.

Homer:Screw you, doc! I fly from the gut.

Homer:Screw you, doc! I fly from the gut.

Homer:Has science ever kissed a woman? or won the Super Bowl? or put a man on the moon?

Homer:Help me, science!

Professor Frink:Oh, boy, are they retro! It's a fun design by R. Crumb, who was friends with Harvey Pekar.

Homer:Marge, that's what turns a mediocre voyage... into a fantastic voyage!

Homer:There's a whole rack of 'em over there. I only ate two.

Bart:Learning is cool!

Mr. Burns:Well, that hurt like hell.

Homer:Oh, my God! This is the worst Halloween Horror we've ever faced.

Homer:Boy, when God closes a door, He opens a window.

Marge:Cut me some slack. I'm a widow.

Marge:Cut me some slack. I'm a widow.

Homer:I say when we're full! You don't wanna piss off a man who can kick you in the crotch... from the inside!

Mr. Burns:Cheer up, my chubby inner child. I've got a feeling everything's going to work out fine because...