Mobile Homer

Lisa:Why don't we top it off by reading to old people?

Lisa:Well, I think in these days of petro-terrorists and ozone depletion, a Sunday drive reeks of bio-hubris.

Krusty:Can't I get a cup of coffee without doing a monkey dance for you freaks? The fishing hat means leave me alone!

Marge:Always nice to see him.

Homer:I cleaned out the garage and lost 50 pounds.

Homer:It seems a shame to chuck out these cross-country skis.

Homer:Stupid spider! Afraid of dying?

Homer:Spider poison is people poison?!

Lisa:I learned CPR while waiting for other kids to finish their math tests.

Homer:Who put those spiders in my mouth?!

Homer:Don't worry, if I croak, you'll marry Lenny... or Moe. The winner will be determined by a card game I invented.

Insurance Agent · Homer:Have you ever had a heart attack? Haven't we all?

Homer:Strokes? None. No, wait, three. Since the last one, I don't remember so good.

Homer:Shh! I want her to think I'm cool!

Homer:My hemophilia!

Roger:Don't thank me. Thank our many debts and obligations.

Doctor:You should have thought of that before you had children with a dead man.

Narrator:The real Brenda later went to Harvard Medical School.. As a cadaver.

Marge:You just have to assemble it yourself.

Bart:You mean when the big tuna goes belly-up?

Homer:I paid a bundle for overnight delivery.

Homer:Okay, I'll just hire a haulage firm to cart them away... at my expense!

Homer:No, a whole team of lawyers, who will dine on mustard flown in from the Orient.

Lisa:People died in those shirts.

Homer:Drinking beer out of a thermos like an animal.

Marge:Last year, you spent $5,000 on donuts, $2,000 on scalp massages, $500 on body glitter...

Marge:You waltz in there at 10:30, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around Googling your own name until lunch.

Marge:You shouted it while we were making love.

Benjamin Franklin:I invented some kind of stove.

Homer:Well, I invented a Popsicle made of Mountain Dew.

Homer:I spent our savings on the down payment for a motor home.

Homer:I need a castle where I can be king!

Lisa:That's my half-assed dad.

Bart:You're a bread compartment!

Homer:You can wear swimsuits instead of underwear!

RV Owner:We use jokes to mask our pain at the death of our son.

Homer:I have a backyard that makes my front yard look like an idiot.

Homer:If my wife asks, you're here for a Boz Skaggs concert.

Marge:This is a house!

Marge:I know another place you can go! To sleep.

RV Owner:It's not golden brown, it's not brown, it's not nothin'.

Homer:That's no marriage bed. It's a loveless slab of bossiness!

Marge:You hide food in my hair.

Lisa:No. I don't see Dad doing all that paperwork.

Homer:That was my Woodstock!

Lisa:Duh! It's Kamper Kong.

Bob:Tie me to the Kong and cut its tethers.

Homer:It was more than a motor home. It was a car I could go to the bathroom in.

Marge:This is a parent's worst nightmare! They've stolen a car and they're home alone.

Homer:Dino-- short for dinosaur? Remember to ask Jeeves.

Random Driver:When I was a kid, my mom would give me an empty egg carton and I'd pretend it was a spaceship to the moon. You'll never guess what I used for astronauts.

Bart:French it up, lover boy!

Turkish Captain:And we must get these Season One Northern Exposure DVDs to Kahramanmaras.

Homer:Bring back our children, you Cyprus-splitting jerks!

Turkish Captain:It is a shame you dress like a Lebanese prostitute.

Homer:Water damage-- can't be returned. I win again!

Turkish Sailor:Dude, she seemed tense, so we put a little hashish in her meal.

Marge:Which came first, turkey the bird or Turkey the you guys?