Home Away From Homer

Homer:Oh boy! This is what sunny sunday afternoons are for.

Stephan Withmore:It's just, uh... It's not that good.

Homer:Prison overcrowding? I've got a solution for that.

Marge:Her films are so lyrical! The phone lines are gonna be jammed.

NPR Host:Holy crap! Someone actually calling!

Homer:Free movie tickets? I feel like Roger Ebert or as kiss ass new partner.

Homer:She'll be fine here, under the watchful eye of grandma Shark Week.

Marge:TV Shark is not a babysitter!

Ned:Howdy, Homer, you here for viewing my shampooing?

Ned:Ho, sorry, but I promise to rewind videotapes for the poor.

Homer:Why won't you love me?

Bart · Homer:Hey, you wore a bathing suit in the bathtub? - Yeah, so I can't see my own shrinky dinck. Make sense.

Bart:Mum, am I a 'butch' or 'femme'?

Marge:Honey, you can be anything you wanna be.

Random moviegoer · Homer:Would you care for a segment? - Yes.

Bart:Mom, I don't wanna read, it's the weekend.

Homer:Oh, I'm stuck. Why did I eat that apple segment?

Ned:It's one of my humble figurines, he's scampered out of Parade magazine and into my nick neck nook and the... well his little buddies soon followed.

Ned:You like 'em, huh? Come on, I'll show you the other 300.

Marge:I feel so much empathy for those villagers. They had to drink their own tears.

Bart:Look at me, I'm a grad student, I'm 30 years old and I made 600$ last year!

Marge:Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.

Ned:Judas bear, you're not touching your last supper.

Ned:Well, it might be fun to be a landlord. Land fella! There's only one lord.

Ned · Bart:Wait, this is my license. - No, it's not, ya-hamp.

Katja:Sometimes we saw all the boys in there... Robes.

Ned:You poor thing. Now I've heard about those robes. Flapping everywhere...

Ned:Girls, welcome to your very own, Ned and breakfast.

Katja · Ned:You rhyme like Snoopy Dog. - Well, thank you.

Bart:I know what we can ask Jeeves. Why does he suck?

Bart · Lisa:Hey, a banner ad! - Sexyslumberparty.com? - It's flashing! We better click it!

Bart · Lisa:Hey, this is one of those dirty web sites. - Two girls? Who would want that?

Ned:That's odd. I could sworn I just heard someone shriek my name.

Homer:And if you say Jimmy Fallon, I'll know you're lying.

Homer:Wait till I tell everyone about this, I'll feel important without drinking!

Bart:That will be weird.

Homer:Yep, and nobody's telling him. Not even his good buddy God.

Homer:It's my nickname, Stupid_Flanders!

Homer:Hey, Moses, are you a loser? 'Yes I am, Homer.'

Homer:Oh, yeah. They're just what my laptop needed.

Homer:Son, I need to pee, but I can't stop watching. Fetch me a bottle.

Bart:Come on dad, I've seen you hit the toilet from here.

Bart · Homer:We're watching the latest photos from Mars. - Ho-ho, great stuff. Worth every billion.

Marge:Well, that's obvious. He doesn't even know.

Homer:I'm thinking about getting a yogurt franchise. It's called Plops...

Katja:Homer's the one what adviced us up to this sexy going's on.

Ned:The Bible says: 'Cast your bread upon the waters.' But all I got was a bunch of soggy bread.

Homer:...bread.

Ned:Today I realized they are more like the Midianites.

Ned:I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear. that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.

Ned:I don't usually make big life decisions based on things stamped on things that I bought at the garage sale. But corn doggett, boys, it's time for a change!

Homer · Lisa:You're right. But you know who the real victim is here? Ned. - That's we've been trying to tell you!

Homer · Lisa · Homer:You're right. But you know who the real victim is here? - Ned. - That's we've been trying to tell you! - Ooh yeah...

Homer:Last-diddly-ast?

Marge:Well at least your name's on the bowl.

Homer · Coach Clay:So, is that your whistle? - Damn straight. Clay Roberts. I coach wrestling, so everybody calls me coach...

Homer · Clay:Listen neighborino, I wanna start our relationship all from a right foot so if you need anything, anything at all... - What jagoff left this here?

Homer:We've played this game called 'who can punch the softest'. And he always let me win.

Ned · Town Greeter:Howdy, Humbletonian! - Picnics and pixie-sticks!

Ned:This town is sweeter than a cake made of pie.

Ned:Even the dogs curb themselves.

Ned:Get rid of dr. Fuzzenstein? I couldn't dream of thinking about considering...

Rod/Todd:Daddy, why did you have to shave your nose neighbor?

Ned:My mustache has the right to life. It's my body and my choice!

Ned:My mustache has the right to life. It's my body and my choice!

Jason Bateman:Why would you do that? How am I gonna get home?

Clay:Yeah, something tells me you won't starve, ha? Ha, chief? Ha?

Homer:Like a woman whose made the biggest mistake of her life!

Homer:Who am I fooling with my awesome lies?

Homer:Oh Ned, I don't deserve you as a neighbor, but will you forgive a young handsome fool and come home?

Ned · Rod · Ned:That tears it. Boys, put on your goody two shoes! We're moving back to Springfield! But I have a girlfriend! - Now you got a pen pal.

Homer:Yeah, I am a little fatty. You got me.

Homer:Yeah, I am a little fatty. You got me.

Ned:I saw my advantage and I took it. That's what hero's do.

Marge · Homer:Homer, did you steal the organ from the church? Maybe, we don't know that for sure.

Ned · Homer:Mind if I waggle my finger a little bit? - Go nuts!