Mommie Beerest

Homer:See you in Hell, document.

Homer · Server:A roll, sir? - Screw you.

Character at buffet:I win. Thinner... thinner... too thin. Better luck next time, 'Tommy-- Virginia Beach.'

Bart · Lisa:You ate meat. You ate meat. You ate fruit. You ate fruit.

Homer:What do I have to do to enjoy a Sunday brunch with my secret other family?

Homer:And the worst part is, this is brunch, so you've ruined two meals.

Homer:I'll see you all at lupper.

Homer:Why did I ever have kids? I could have written symphonies, or been Shakespeare.

Moe · Health Inspector:Oh, who are you, the health inspector? Yes.

Health Inspector:But then where would I go to get away from my wife?

Health Inspector:Lenny, you don't have to hide that rat. Off you go, little fella.

Health Inspector · Moe:My pop would buy me a malted for every tooth of Moe's I knocked out. That time you blinded me, he gave you a bike.

Moe:That sure was a good-soundin' bike...

Barflies:Oh my God, he's dead. Okay, which one of you guys parked in front of the hydrant?

Barfly:Uh, look, I didn't see nothin' here, okay? Just a bunch of innocent guys, sitting around, none of them dead.

Moe:Uh, well, ya see, trash day ain't 'til Wednesday, so...

Health Inspector:Chicken skins in soap dispenser... cigarette butts in the air... toilet on the roof...

Barfly:'M' is for Moe, the owner of Moe's. 'O' is for the 'O' in the middle of Moe's.

Barfly:'E' is for acceptance. The feeling I always got here at Moe's.

Barney:I can't go to a gay bar-- I'm too fat.

Moe · Homer:No one's ever trusted me before-- except for that one guy who shouldn't have. That was me. Oh, yeah.

Homer:Marge! How dare you open a letter addressed to both of us!

Homer:That's because I hate her.

Moe:Nor a wife, a friend, a chum, a casual acquaintance, a pen pal, a parrot, a meaningful conversation, a brief hug or eye contact.

Moe:And they've blocked my number.

Homer:How many cigars are they allowed to have? Bart sleeps in the microwave, right?

Homer:How many magic beans should I sell the baby for? Three? That's me, jerk-ass Homer.

Marge:Well... as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.

Moe:And I ain't changin' it for any dame, skirt, Susie-Q or face-macer.

Moe:Hey, hold the phone. An English pub-- that just might work. In song... My bar could be British Instead of arm-pittish, so why don't we all... Eh, screw it.

Barney:My first credit card. Wow, the numbers are all bumpy-like.

Food Critic:Marge Simpson and Moe Szyslak, here's a mash note to your bangers-- I wish you could live in me forever.

Bart · Homer:Just what are you inferring? I'm not inferring anything. You infer. I imply. Whew, that's a relief.

Moe:Ah, yes, Detroit-style. Very nice.

Marge:You and I are... marriage friends.

Movie Trailer:Cards! 52 jokers playing the game of their lives.

Movie Characters:Hey, Jack, you got any twos? You can't handle the twos!

Moe · Homer:Oh, Marge told me. We share everything. You do?

Homer:Can I learn it at a happy place?

Barney:Ooh, get her a Life Magazine from the week she was born. I'll always treasure mine.

Crowd · Child:Cuckold! Cuckold! Cuckold! What's a cuckold?

Flight Attendant:Safety instructions are two dollars. If you require wheelchair assistance, you picked the wrong airline.

Moe:Oh, I'm just excited because they're showing an episode of Boy Meets World on this flight. Oh no, wait. That's only on flights from Europe. We just get that little plane.

Police Chief:Simpson, you were going a hundred in a 25 zone, and you're not gonna flirt your way outta this one.

Chief Wiggum · Lou:Really? Well, why didn't you say so? Let's roll! You didn't work this hard to save my marriage.

Moe:Time for some shuba-duba in Aruba.

Moe:That sounds like Homer. No it isn't. I don't hear nothin'. You're crazy. Get outta here. Will you marry me?

Homer · Marge:Homer! How'd you get in here? Toilet hole.

Moe · Homer · Marge:What's her favorite food? Ice? Wrong! It's buttered noodles. He's right.

Moe:At least I had a couple of sips from your Coke when you went to the bathroom.

Moe:At least I had a couple of sips from your Coke when you went to the bathroom.

Marge · Homer:You're my Homie-womie-romie-domie. And you're my Margie-wargie-bargie fargie-gargie-margie-targie-largie.

Moe:I may have dodged a bullet here.

Moe:Know-it-all bitch.

Homer · Moe:Listen, I got to tell you, I chew in my sleep. Yeah, well, I sweat blood.

Marge · Bart · Lisa:Who's watching the kids? Are you sure Mom and Dad want us to enter a European balloon race? Sure. Why not?