The Girl Who Slept Too Little

Flanders:What are they cock-a-doodily doing?

Homer · Flanders:Flanders, I can't listen to your crap before my coffee. / Okily-dokily, here's some french roast.

Flanders · Homer:Now, I'll go make toast. / Stupid best friend flanders.

Lisa · Bart:Stamps? Those are for snail mail! / Stamps rule! I mean suck!

Marge · Homer:What ever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'? / I think they killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals.

Marge:The noise is jiggling my grapes to the bottom of the jell-O.

Homer:What man would want you now?

Homer:Seven, four, three, one... oh, wait, that's my pin number.

Unknown soldier:'come home from Iraq,' my wife says. 'Fallujah's too dangerous,' my wife says.

Homer · Character:You know, why didn't you just say 'stamp collectors'? / 'Cause I'm tired of dumbing myself down for you.

News anchor:The postal service is sending a change of address card... to itself.

Homer:When I die, you can mourn me from the bathroom. That's multitasking.

Lisa:I don't even like watching the count on sesame street. One coconut, two coconuts, three coconets...

Homer:Go back to your own country!

Bart · Lisa:Then the zombies will eat you first, and you won't have to watch them eat us. / Thanks for making me feel better. / Well, thanks for making me feel better, knowing that your screams when the zombies chomp your brains will warn me so I can get away.

Lisa · Bart:There's no such thing as zombies! / Glad to hear you say that, because the person who doesn't believe in zombies is always the first to get feasted upon.

Marge · Homer:So that's why I've been smelling margaritas at 3:00 A.M. / Hey, I love waking up drunk in the morning.

Homer · Bart:Wait a minute, there's no batteries in this thing. / I needed them for my remote-control helicopter.

Homer · Homer:There's a little plastic man in your hair, and I'm trying to rescue him. / No soldier left behind.

Homer:Lisa, when you've sustained as many blows to the head as I have, consistency is something, something that something... / I love you, Bart.

Lenny · Homer:Hey, Simpsons. That'll be 40 bucks. / Oh, I thought it was 20! / Yeah, that's per axle. Park over there in Carl four. No early outs.

Lenny:Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button!

Lenny · Homer · Marge:Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button! You guys need water? / No one's gonna pay a buck to drink water from your hose, so... / Pay the man, Homer.

Lenny Leonard:Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button!

Homer:Yeesh! Butter face.

Alexander Graham Bell:You stole it from me, Elisha Gray. Read the patent number, bitch!

Homer:You read a book all the way through? Why?

Commercial narrator:Is this the land of the wild beasts? / No, this is the land of the wild feasts! The Hillside Wrangler steak house!

Commercial characters:And I'm jumbo shrimp! Maximum two servings! / That's bull... Man!

Milton Burkhart:I wanted to be a children's book illustrator ever since Playboy wouldn't publish my cartoons because they were too filthy.

Gravedigger Billy:I've been digging graves for 30 years, and I've never buried anyone alive. If I did, they'd ring this bell. / Well, that's just the wind. / Oh, that's just a tree branch, with a nice watch on it!

Homer:What a lousy party! I don't care what apu was in a past life, in this life, he's a blabbermouth! And that Dr. Hibbert was so boring. 'Homer, we've got to get that lump checked out.' 'Homer, we must discuss your test results.' 'Homer, we've got to find you a donor.'

Marge:You see, sweetie, when a mommy and daddy are married for years and have nothing new to talk about, they bad-mouth their closest friends.

Homer · Lisa · Homer:What has two ears but can't hear? / Grandpa! / Tragically, yes.

Homer · Marge:But don't be surprised if a snuggle monster shows up. / Well, I hope he's accompanied by the 'how was your day' monster and the 'foot rub' monster, and the 'let me just....' / don't worry, he's not showing up.

Marge · Homer:What about Bart's bedroom? / You know that race car bed I made him? The brakes are shot.

Lisa:Mom, I think there's a danger this time they might lose the ponderosa.

Homer:Why you very little...!

Therapist · Marge · Homer:Well worth the $4,000. / $4,000? / Now, Marge, when our little girl's happiness is at stake... / Run, Marge! Start the car!

Therapist · Homer:I'm not chasing you, Mr. Simpson. / And you won't! Unless you can leap through fire!

Security Guard:I don't work here. I was just visiting another security guard that died. Bye, now.

Lisa · Dr. Nick:Hi, Dr. Nick. / Hi, everybody! / I mean, I'm not dr. Nick. I'M... Dr. Octopus. I'm going to get you, spidey. Then I will have upside-down kiss with Mary Jane.

Lisa · Dr. Nick:Bye, Dr. Nick. / Bye, Lisa. And remember, you have a checkup next thursday. / We don't go to you anymore. We have a better doctor. / Oh, congratulations!

Chief Wiggum:You know, I actually got into law school, but I just couldn't afford it. / Quiet, I hear something. / Yeah, that's my life slipping away.

Homer · Marge:Don't worry, we're not evil spirits! / Although, we were evil spirits, we'd probably assume the shape of your parents.

Slime Monster:I don't know how I reproduce, but we'll have a great time figuring it out.

Monster · Lisa:For god's sake, girl, you're eight years old. It's natural for you to feel scared sometime. / But I'm too smart to get scared.

Monsters · Lisa:You could just draw the blinds, you silly goose. / Or get a night-light. / My dad says they're too expensive. / For god's sake, they're four bucks apiece.

Monsters · Lisa:You could just draw the blinds, you silly goose. / Or get a night-light. / My dad says they're too expensive. / For god's sake, they're four bucks apiece.

Slime monster:What is it about slime that chicks don't dig?

Monsters:We're always just a concussion away!

Lou · Chief Wiggum:Uh, chief, it's light out. You can open your eyes and come down. / I don't want to, Lou! / I've got a pizza bagel for you. / Let's roll.