Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play

Homer:It's amazing they've gotten 512 shows out of this premise.

Bart:Remember when we saw Hunch's butt in the shower? That was two seasons ago. Now you can only see butts on cable.

Moe:The isotopes are winning? To the bandwagon!

Homer:Don't worry, I'll use the money I make to buy tickets from a scalper. Then I'll sell those tickets, and we'll be rich. Rich!

Homer:Cop! Act like you're in love with me.

Grandpa Simpson · Bart:You want to know something, Bart? Nah, I know enough.

Grandpa Simpson:That was during the war, when sushi was called 'liberty logs,' and no one had ever heard of it.

Lisa:But grandpa, in 1942, they only played women's baseball here.

Grandpa Simpson:Let's just say one of the ladies had some extra equipment.

Grandpa Simpson:I was a center fielder for the Springfield floozies.

Grandpa Simpson:The pay wasn't much, but it kept me out of the war for a year.

Grandpa Simpson:Effie Lou is a man! Get him! He could threaten my record for lady triples.

Marge:I bet that's why she's here tonight honoring america.

Tabitha Vixx:and now here's something from my new album.

Homer:Hey, Buck, how's it feel knowing your wife's turning on a creep like me? Weird, I bet.

Announcer:That's an e-3 if you're keeping score at home, and if you are, your loneliness saddens me.

Bart:Nine volt! Double a! D! D! D! D!

Announcer:Job himself never had a tougher day at the ball park than Buck Mitchell.

Announcer:He's made six errors, struck out twice and swallowed a bee.

Duffman:They're making a mockery out of amerisnack. Comtroll doll night.

Dr. Hibbert:We both find public displays of affection vulgar.

Lenny:Come on, doc, she's a fine-looking woman. You don't want to work that?

Marge:Look at that ugly old man. That's you.

Homer · Marge:Really? You'd kiss an ugly old man like me? Only if he'll kiss me back.

Lenny · Carl:Remember when we used to kiss like that, Carl? With our respective girlfriends.

Homer · Marge:Marge, can we get a trough? For the last time, no.

Homer · Buck Mitchell:Hey, that was my ice tea. I just sweetened it to my liking.

Homer:I barely recognize you without your costume on.

Marge:I never heard anything about it on the gossip shows or the blogosphere or in my supermarket checkout magazine.

Homer:I could entertain business clients. I might even land the Henderson account.

Buck Mitchell:That means she wants to talk in private. It's probably about you.

Homer:Hey, we've gone through more hardships than the jews and Charlie Brown put together.

Buck Mitchell · Comic Book Guy:There were a lot of weird guys at the stadium tonight. You know, I remembered you.

Homer:Sorry I'm late. I was just gathering my counseling equipment.

Homer:Now, let's remember... no one's right and no one's wrong... till I say so.

Homer:Unfortunately, we're out of time. How does that make you feel? Shut up. My 10:00's here.

Buck Mitchell:Well, I'm positively sick of her shaking her lady parts for the whole world to eyeball.

Homer:Buck, you've got a beautiful woman with a hot body that any man would fantasize about even while making love to his own Marge.

Bart:Just sign your name above president Lincoln's.

Lisa · Homer:If you listen closely, you can hear them arguing right now. And I say a monkey can mow our lawn!

Homer:I stole a rack of fur coats. I sell one a year to pay for christmas.

Homer:Why, 'cause I'm fat?

Homer · Marge:I always say that. Let's compromise and say nobody said it.

Announcer:It's going, going... and like america's credibility on the world stage, that ball is gone.

Kent Brockman:After that, who gives a hobo's crap? Am I right?

Homer:Wow, I've got this sudden urge to give her a five-dollar bill.

Homer:You're talking to the chicken. Don't tell the hamburger in my car.

Tabitha Vixx:They're day laborers. We picked them up in the home depot parking lot.

Homer:Thank god I brought protection. I used to be so embarrassed buying these.

Homer:cancellations require 24 hours... notice.

Sports Radio Host:And that's why Lou Gehrig was a selfish cry baby who deserved to die.

Moe:It don't need no writing on it. It don't even have to be clean.

Moe:It's holding in my hernia.

Bart · Homer:Papa. I didn't want you to learn that word this way.

Homer:So now we're judging each other based on things we've done. Real fair. Class act.

Marge:Crossed arms mean 'no.'

Homer:Your standing lamp is dirty. I'll polish it.

Announcer:Said zeppelin has a whole lotta love.

Duffman:No, I said, 'duffman will do what you want. Stop kicking and punching duffman.'

Homer:She must be pooping.

Comic Book Guy · Crowd:This is the worst blimp crash ever! Too soon!

Duffman:Three duffmen are working the game tonight. Don't tell the children. It's disillusioning.

Buck Mitchell:Let's see, B. No, no, no. A. No, no, oh, man, man! It's C. As in 'keeping together.'

Homer:But enough of the baseball analogies. They sicken me.

Buck Mitchell · Tito:Ain't love grand, tito? Hey, man, I don't care! Bandits just kidnapped my mother. Just found out.