The Italian Bob

Groundskeeper Willie:Enjoy your multicultural hooey.

Bart Simpson:What is this crap? This is worse than 'wheelchair-nocchio.'

Nelson Muntz:Hey, cryptkeeper, I like your Dodge scare-a-van.

Mr. Burns:How dare you mock my mobile-a-mobile? It was the first car to outrun a man. A caveman.

Cletus Spuckler:I thought of that 'cause I slept in a cave last night.

Mr. Burns · Smithers:Kill them, Smithers. / You could just buy a new car, sir. / Well... whatever's easier.

Smithers:May I suggest an Oldsmobile?

Mr. Burns:I won't forget who mocked me. I'm taking your picture. Now, hold perfectly still for 78 minutes.

Smithers:That's the car I think about when I make love to my wife.

Bart Simpson · Homer Simpson:That guy in first class is taking a tv out of his armrest. / What's in you? / A bunch of stupid cables.

Cletus Spuckler · Brandine Spuckler:The kids just got a new playhouse! / Cletus, you are the most wonderful husband and son I ever had.

Lisa Simpson:Well, some people in Europe have the impression that America has made some stupid choices in the past, oh, five years.

Homer Simpson:That flag is mine! Don't mess with Texas! Shock and awe, losers! Shock and awe!

Homer Simpson:Why you little...

Homer Simpson:Wow, I've seen photos of this, but you can't really experience it until you're here: A Mcdonald's where you can get booze!

Lisa Simpson · Homer Simpson:But, dad, don't you want to turn around and see the tower? / There's a picture of it on my cup.

Homer Simpson:Savages.

Homer Simpson · Lisa Simpson:It says here we should turn left at a fat chick in a tutu being fed by a midget. / That's a dvd of a Fellini movie.

Homer Simpson:I get it. The midget represents dwarves.

Homer Simpson:Mozzarella! Parmigiano! Provolone! Pecorino! Gorgonzola! Fontina! Taleggio! Bocconcini!

Homer Simpson · Marge Simpson:Don't worry. We got the cheese insurance. / It doesn't cover mortadella. / No!

Homer Simpson:Stupid Italy. Wish you'd never been unified by Victor Emmanuel II. If only you'd stayed a loose confederation of city-states, trading with each other and occasionally warring.

Italian Mechanic · Homer Simpson:Americano? / What the hell could that mean? Why can't you people learn to speak my language? I learned to eat your food.

Italian Mayor · Italian Woman:kentucky?! / In italia, this a-means 'whore'!

Sideshow Bob:Sideshow Bob of all the regioni and all the villaggi in all of Italia, you had to be il mayore of this one!

Lisa Simpson:But it better have a beginning, a middle and an end. And you'd better make us root for the protagonist.

Homer Simpson:Okay, so far I'm rooting for you.

Sideshow Bob · Italian Local:It's pronounced 'buon giorno.' Your mouth is getting lazy on the second syllable. Here, let me guide you.

Sideshow Bob:These feet are made for stomping and that's just what they'll do one of these days these feet will make chianti out of you ready, feet? Start stomping.

Homer Simpson · Sideshow Bob:Holy moley! I always thought you were, you know, out loud and proud. / Well, I experimented in college, as one does.

Homer Simpson · Sideshow Bob:I never went to college. / Stop the presses.

Gino · Bob's Wife:The name Roberto cries when he has the bad dream. Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! I make like my daddy!

Bob's Wife:He makes love like a man who just got out of jail.

Sideshow Bob:Surely, even the most heinous criminal deserves a seventh chance.

Homer Simpson:Yeah, I tell Marge everything. Not necessarily in words, but in body language. You know, sneaking around and such.

Lisa Simpson:You can't be a bad person if you have a family. And literature is filled with tales of redemption from Jean Valjean to the voice of Buzz Lightyear, Tim Allen.

Lisa Simpson · Homer Simpson:Dad, don't act like Mussolini. / I thought I was doing Donald Trump.

Bob:This sausage shop has been grinding the same family of pigs for 600 years.

Italian Police · Chief Wiggum:Chief, I tried to warn you. Sideshow bob hasn't lived here for months. / Oh, god, am I sorry. Is that a penn state banner? 'Cause my cousin went there. Did you know him? Mark Wiggum, fat kid, played a lot of tetris.

Sideshow Bob:Tomorrow, they return to America, taking with them my gratitude, my friendship and my heartfelt wish that they never return.

Homer Simpson:Look, the town drunk is two years old.

Lisa Simpson · Homer Simpson:Yeah, but he's a wanted killer in our community. / He deserves to be hailed at this wingding. / More like jailed at sing sing.

Sideshow Bob:Drunken children tell the ugliest lies.

Sideshow Bob · Francesca:But darling, the boy drove me to murder by exonerating a harlequin who I framed for robbery at the Kwik-E-Mart. / It all sounds so stupid.

Francesca:It all sounds so stupid.

Lisa Simpson · Bart Simpson:Boy, that Sideshow Bob goes from zero to murder awfully fast. / At least this time it was Lisa who ruined Bob's life.

Marge Simpson:It's called a hangover, sweetie. And it's an unavoidable part of life.

Homer Simpson:What am i supposed to use it for... transporting water to distant urban centers?! Lazy romans.

Marge Simpson:I feel like I'm the Bourne Identity.

Homer Simpson:I am the gayest super villain ever. Beware my scented candles.

Sideshow Bob:I don't wish to brag, but he's evil at an eighth grade level.

Krusty the Clown:I know you're out there. I can hear you being greasy.

Krusty the Clown:Well, I need someone to help me smuggle antiquities to America. Everyone, break off a piece and hide it on your person.

Gondolier · Homer Simpson:When a big tub of lard... / Knock it off. / Excusi. No speaka english.