Yokel Chords

Marge:It's amazing how they always solve the crime just before they run out of pages.

James Patterson:James Patterson! Come with me, Marge. Help me think of new nursery rhyme-themed titles for my thrillers.

Marge · James Patterson:Ooh, how about 'Little Bo Peep'? That's great. A clue could be her sheep.

Homer:Eh, stumbled home at dawn, same diff.

Bart:What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich.

Abe · Homer:Abe, pull over! You're not the driver! Shut up, pizzas! I've gotta deliver you!

Groundskeeper Willie:Unless I 'scare' one up.

Willie · Kids:Stanley, Stanley, no degree. Two credits short at MIT.

Dark Stanley:Needs more girl.

Willie:When they came back the next day, the whole cemetery was missing!

Willie:They say Dark Stanley makes your skull into a toilet and wee-wees into it.

Bart:Nobody pajamanates my skin.

Kid:Why aren't you a-scareded?

Willie:Murther!

Willie · Skinner:I'll bring those wee ones back dead or alive. Not dead. Ah, ya never let Willie be Willie.

Cletus:I teach the big ones and the big ones teach the little ones, but no one ever taught me, which makes the whole thing just an exercise in futility.

Chalmers:Plus our last bake sale was a disaster. People took bites without buying the cookies.

Chalmers:I warn you, young lady, we can fumfur all day.

Skinner · Chalmers:How do we gag a blabbermouth like Lisa?

Skinner · Chalmers:Would she shut her trap For a gift card from the Gap?

Lisa · Chalmers:You have a lovely voice, sir. Why do you have to make everything weird?

Cletus:Hey, kids! The plow done birthed a girl-critter!

Cletus:Now, if you need me, I'll be on the porch drinkin' Thomsen's Water Seal.

Cletus's children:Witney! Jitney! Dubya! Incest! Crystal Meth! International Harvester! Birthday!

Cletus child:Are we gonna do this much work every day?

Homer:But the school's paying for five sessions and there's a Chinese restaurant next door where I can get drunk.

Bart:This school has sent me to more therapists than you've had bad dates.

Dr. Swanson · Bart:Actually, I just got 'Death Kill City II: Death Kill Stories.' Whoa! You've got 'DKC2: DKS'? That one's rated 'Bad for Everyone.'

Video game:You have destroyed all human life on earth. Level 1 complete.

Cletus child:How is any of this gonna put dog meat on my plate?

Cletus:'The county fair is always sucky to visit on a hot summer fart.' 'You can eat delicious cotton hate, and ride the Ferris burp and the Merry-go-booger.'

Bart:My dad never takes me on the merry-go-booger. He's always passed out in the parking snot.

Bart:Every president has a word balloon that says 'I am gay.'

Cletus child:These colorful bums is funny!

Lisa:Mistos and lattes and grandes and ventis / Browsing at bookstores with fat cognoscentis

Lisa:Comparing Jim Carrey to Dario Fo!

Lisa:Mrs. Skinner is Mame

Cletus child · Krusty:Hey! You're one of those funny people with a big crazy nose. A clown? No, a... Joker!

Bart:And then I had this dream that my whole family was just cartoon characters, and that our success had led to some crazy propaganda network called 'Fox News.'

Bart:I think I just got dumped.

Apu:That is because you're robbing my brother Sanjay.

Cletus:Now I don't sign nothin' without pretendin' to read it first.

Cletus:Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger. Looks good!

Cletus children:I have eight teeth Going on seven teeth

Cletus children:We live on landfill And feast on roadkill While we all drink Moonshine

Homer:Look at those morons. They sing because they're stupid.

Krusty · Sondheim:What's your name again, fuzz-face? Stephen Sondheim.

Krusty:You didn't?! Oh, no!

Sondheim:President or ayatollah Everyone loves new Buzz Cola With lemon

Person:Uh... how do we get the real dog out?

Bart:Do you think I'm telling people not to have a cow because deep down I want them to have a cow?

Marge:If it doesn't work, maybe when you're an adult, you can pay some lady to make you happy for an hour.

Marge · Bart:Maybe when you're an adult, you can pay some lady to make you happy for an hour. You know, I'm pretty sure I will.

Bart:That, and Stanley was the brand of hammer my dad used to hit me with.

Bart · Dr. Swanson:One of these days I might have a complete psychotic breakdown. Aw... I'd like that.

Bart · Dr. Swanson:One of these days I might have a complete psychotic breakdown. Aw... I'd like that.

Cletus child:Ain't that lyin', Mr. Krusty?

Andy Dick:I'm blue collar. I'm totally blue collar. My dad owns a shovel.

Cletus:Brandine! You're supposed to be in Iraq, stopping 9/11!

Brandine:He's only the father of two of 'em! The one that can't sing and the one that can't ad lib.

Brandine · Cletus:How much money do we have left? Uh, I owe Krusty $12,000. We can live on that.