Crook And Ladder

Marge:Are Bees Building Hives in your Diaper Genie? The Deadly Truth about Oxygen.

Marge:Growing up means giving up everything that makes you happy. It's true. I've given up everything but raisins.

Marge:And the doctor says they're killing me. Sweet, plump coffin nails is what they are.

Homer · Lisa:It's a Larry Flynt publication! Lisa, stop reading mastheads. I can't. I won't!

Homer:How about Syntho-Nip? Kiddy Cork? Thumbstitute? AccuTeat? Bink 182? Want to suck on the receipt?

Maggie:Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt, Larry Flynt, Larry Flynt?!

Dr. Hibbert:Good work, boy. Just for that, we're going to treat your heart murmur, not just 'see how it goes'.

Homer:Oh, stupid baby. Growing her brain on my dime.

Commercial narrator:Nappien activates your brain's napping centers, and attacks your body's awake-agens. And unlike Sleepia, it won't cause foot fattening or elbow stink.

Homer:Thank you, methasorbizone tartrate, also known as Nappien.

Marge:And someone used our videotapes as dominoes.

Homer:If I had set up those dominoes, I'd be wearing my special domino-setting-up kneepads.

Homer:Mood swings?! Mood swings. Mood swings! Mood swings? Mood swings! Mood swings!

Security guard:So you're the one behind all these hijinks at the Rock 'N' Roll Wax Museum.

Homer:Well, son, your Uncle Homer is like 80% of America wacked out on prescription drugs.

Homer:Oh! I have three kids and no money! Why can't I have no kids and three money?

Bart · Homer:Want to come out and play? Zombie kill. No, play! Zombie file grievance.

Bart:Zombie montage.

Bart:Zombie montage.

Homer:What are you, a travel agent? 'Cause you're sending me on a guilt trip.

Burning man:Oh, not as bad as knowing that somewhere, gays are marrying each other. That's the real emergency, Kent.

Skinner:Just call me Fireman Skinner.

Moe:Lousy civilians. I wish I could burn 'em all.

Homer · Skinner:Is that one? That's just someone barbecuing. Oh! Is that one? That's a guy with red hair.

Homer · Other fireman:Is that one? That's just someone barbecuing. Oh! Is that one? That's a guy with red hair.

Homer:Soggy, smoky hero.

Luigi:Luigi give you all the food you want! On the house!

Luigi:You save-a Luigi's place! Mwah! Mwah! Luigi give you all the food you want! On the house!

Homer · Apu:Hey, this is sweet, huh? Almost makes up for not gettin' paid. We don't get what?

Action movie star:Frankenberry the Movie 2: The Frankenberry Wears Prada

Moe:People owe us because we're heroes. It's even on my business card. I printed them on the back of my old business cards. See? It's different.

Mr. Burns · Skinner:So, I see by your tie you're a Yale man, too. Let's croon, shall we? Boola, boola, boola, boola...

Mr. Burns:But since I thought you were dead, you won't get paid this week. Make a note of it.

Mr. Burns:Go back to your tenements, where the O'Briens live next to the Goldbergs, who rub elbows with Antonellis, and the only thing you have in common is the squalor of your chamber pot!

Moe:Whoa, whoa, whoa. It ain't stealing if you take it fast.

Homer:And some stuff I wanted.

Moe:It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!

Moe:It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!

Homer:Oh, thank God there's a fire. Marge's birthday's coming up.

Homer:Oh, bogus gizmo, grant me eternal life.

Homer:Look at me, guys! I'm stealing five Segways at once! And speaking of segues, I'm off to my next morally questionable activity!

Homer:We're not thieves; we're scavengers, like the beautiful vulture or the heroic tapeworm, or America's sweetheart, the maggot.

Moe:Oh! This thing's hotter than Ellen Barkin!

Moe:But it's been in my family for over 40 seconds!

Apu:Apu is dead. I was reincarnated as this cat.

Apu:Oh, you have just been Apu'd!

Bum:Look at me. I'm the bum of the future!