Moena Lisa

Homer:Homer struggling to remember something, muttering to his memory to wake up

Homer · Marge:Is it our anniversary? No, we don't have one this year.

Homer:Don't you dare go limp. Too late. The deed is done. Kids, grab a fold.

Moe:Moe's increasingly desperate voicemail messages about his birthday fishing trip

Grampa:I threw a javelin that barely missed Hitler. But I did hit an assassin who was trying to kill Hitler.

Grampa:The next time I saw Hitler, we had dinner and laughed about it.

Lisa:What is this? Kill Hitler day?

Comic Book Guy · Lisa:I collect Absolut ads. How many others do you have? There are others?

Marge:Well, it's not fair when Moleman uses his replacement legs.

Grampa:Oh, it's clouding up. I better put on me rain poncho.

Official:Sir! You dropped your munchers!

Grampa:You'll never take me alive, Grim Reaper

Grampa:Take the boy. His soul is fresher.

Bart:I've never been happier.

Lisa:I wonder if the dog thought about us while we were gone.

Moe:Everybody hide! Finally, that jerk Homer is home. Oh, it's just his car.

Moe:Happy birthday to me, I feel so damn lonely, Won't someone kill me... And many more.

Moe:Happy birthday to me / I feel so damn lonely / Won't someone kill me... / And many more.

Marge · Homer:Homer, we can't scuttle like crabs for the rest of our lives. Says you.

Homer · Marge:Dear Pus Bag? Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off? It's for you, Pus Bag!

Moe:But you shattered my dreams like a Duff tall boy in a bar brawl, and you jammed the jagged neck right up my heart's butt.

Lisa:What a deep, tormented soul.

Nelson:Loser!

Moe:Still in the top three. Still in the top ten.

Moe:I ain't no great man, like Bob Seger or Haystacks Calhoun.

Lisa · Moe · Woman:Moe, you live in a hotel? You're just like Eloise! Did someone say my name?

Bart · Moe:This vibrating massage chair feels great! That ain't a massage chair. It's just full of cockroaches. See?

Moe:I was in the Christmas pageant once. Mom showed up with a new boyfriend. He called me Steve.

Barney:Ooh, Moe's a poet! He has a soul! Flutter your wings! It's tea time in Buttercup Junction!

Barney:Ooh, you love a man!

Moe:What-which why-liot's the who-now?

Moe:It jumps out at you like a rat in your underwear drawer.

Homer:There once was a rapping tomato, That's right, I said 'rapping tomato', He rapped all day from April to May, And also, guess what, it was me.

Poetry Editor:Stop the presses! Send my wife some flowers! And bring me an Advil! What do you mean you don't work for me?! You're hired! Now that you're hired, you're fired! Now that you don't work here, we can be friends. Now that we're friends, how come you never call? Some friend you are! God, I love this business.

Editor · Maya Angelou:Bad news, Maya Angelou: you've been bumped. ...you can't bump me... ...bump you!

Moe:Screw you, snail trail! Who was that? Eh, some jerk making a prank call with a gag name: 'Tom Wolfe.'

Marge · Homer:Homer, don't drink and drive! Fine. I'll drive between sips.

Rhode Island Trooper:Including Rhode Island! We're a small state, but we give big tickets.

Tom Wolfe:He stands, stoop-shouldered, blinking in the light, hollow-chested like a dough-faced fall guy who's made a career of taking dives but has decided to get his manhood out of hock and take a shot at the title.

Moe:You ever scrub your hands real fast, and you think you're seeing a third one? One time I looked down and there really was. I gotta get a new lock for that bathroom.

Gore Vidal:1876 was the price I paid for gas once. I thought of Burr when I saw it written on an Eskimo Pie package.

Moe:Whoa, clear water. Swanky! Woo-hoo.

Moe:Well, I dunno, uh... the only book I ever read was Super Hounds: The Ultimate Greyhound Betting System. So, uh, any of you wetnaps write that?

Homer:Man, couples in this state sure like to clink glasses.

Vermont Local · Homer:That was my house, you moron. Oh, I'm sorry. We should exchange insurance information. I have none.

Moe:Hey, hey, hey. Hey, st... stupid geese, you're eating my brilliance. Hey, hey, I will break your beak.

Moe:Yeah, go on, you cowards. Fly off in a 'V'.

Homer:Oh, honey, don't cry. They're not made from real bears just their fur and noses.

Moe · Audience:Elevator capacity: 2,400 pounds. Inspection Certificate available in hotel manager's office. You just pulled that off the wall of the elevator.

Moe:Ode to Lisa: Pointy-headed mini-muse, More friend than I deserved, You pulled me from the dirt, And made me the beautiful flower that I am.

Moe:Except for those two dudes I saw getting hitched. Not my thing, but I wish 'em well.

Moe:Except for those two dudes I saw gettin' hitched. Not my thing, but I wish 'em well.

Jonathan Franzen:Ooh, you fight like Anne Rice.

J. Jonah Jameson:I need photos. Photos of Spider-Man. This is a poetry journal. Okay, then poems about Spider-Man.