The Debarted

Unknown narrator/student:The art teacher is fat, not pregnant.

Marge:Taxicab License. What the...?

Bart:Fine! We'll divide the car into your side and my side. My leg is the barrier.

Lisa · Bart:Mom! / The system works!

Lisa:It's not funny! Your wearing cleats!

Bart:Sorry I'm late... I was in a car crash. Many hurt, but nobody cool was harmed.

Bart:Who's the new meat in my seat?

Donny:P.S. That school sucked.

Donny · Mrs. Krabappel:Hey, Krabappel, your name sounds like 'crab apple.' Did you go sour waiting for someone to pick you? / Pretty much.

Bart:Isn't he awesome? When he grows up, I want to be like me!

Bart · Donny:Look, new kid, I'm the head hamster in this habitrail, capisce? / Well, maybe there's a new guinea pig in your cage. Capisce that? / Oh, I capisce. I capisce just fine. / Oh, well, you just keep on capisce-ing.

Homer · Mechanic:Loa... ner? She's right here. This is the kind of car you see in commercials! How much am I paying for this? - Nothing. - Hm, it seems like a lot.

Homer:You people are idiots! / That's the dumb... / What a stu... I mean, that sounds fair.

Homer:Look at you! Idiots! Driver of a loaner car Much better than a Driver of my normal car...

Ned · Homer:Whoa! Fancy wheels! What song does the horn play? / None. / Classy.

Homer:Son, I know when we first met, we didn't really hit it off, but since then I've really come to respect you.

Homer:And unlike love, respect can't be bought.

Homer:Now let's watch the air conditioner fight the heater.

Homer:Now let's add the rear window defogger. / Twister! Get down!

Skinner:'Air Skinner' brings it up. He bounces the ball repeatedly in a dribbling type motion.

Bart · Skinner:Great, I fouled out. Now can I go? / Nope, I grant you five more fouls.

Chalmers:Students may spend up to ten points per day in up to four of seven categories. Unused points roll over week to week but not month to month. Categories not included: meat, dairy, vegetables...

Chalmers:It's not funny; these movements are involuntary.

Lisa:This almost makes me want to find out how magnets work.

Skinner:When I catch the culprit and I will... I'm gonna throw this away... and use this instead!

Donny · Bart:Why did you take the rap for me? / I don't know. I like your style.

Skinner:Young man, brace yourself... for some congratulations! We did it! You're in!

Chalmers · Skinner:By law, the most we can give him is a ten-day suspension. / Well, that's long to a kid!

Skinner:Uter, Ralph, Doug the hip guidance counselor... he was never the same after Bart got through with him.

Skinner:Young man, I'm gonna be on you like a numerator on a denominator!

Donny · Bart:I've never seen blue vines before. / They're only sold in Europe. I know a guy.

Donny:You can really taste the blue.

Bart · Milhouse:We can rig a cootie catcher so you can marry anybody you want. / Whoa! Sherri! I'm in.

Marge · Homer:How is that fun? / Fun's only fun if everyone's having fun.

Homer · Marge:Do you do it with relish? / No, I'm kind of embarrassed about it.

Homer:What do you mean my car's ready?! Well, you can keep it, 'cause I'm never giving up this one.

Homer:That wasn't us, that was the transmission.

Bart:Skinner's five steps ahead of me. I put a tack in his chair, he's corked his pants! I throw a tomato, he's making salad!

Bart · Willie:Because of your stupid accent? / Nach-nae! Because of its upsetting nature!

Willie:A child thanked me! I gotta write this in my journal. Dear... diary, Today I've...

School Nurse · Unknown:You're in line for a measle shot. / Okay, now we've made a guide hole for the real needle.

Bart · Milhouse:You grew tired of always being in my shadow. / No, I like your shadow. It's nice and cool.

Nelson · Milhouse · Nelson:Oh, my Gosh. It's an outhouse sent from the future. / Hey, I'm in here. / Be quiet, Robo-potty.

Bart:Normally, you can't even buy these. You have to buy the ostrich and wait.

Milhouse · Bart:Whoa, to think this came out of some animal's butt. / Beautiful, in its way.

Homer:I never dreamed an American car designed in Germany, assembled in Mexico from parts made in Canada could be so amazing.

Maggie · Homer:Dad? / Sorry, Maggie.

Willie · Skinner:Ah, get back to your knitting, Seymour. / I will, but it's because I want to.

Donny:Look, you don't start out wanting to be a rat. Sometimes it's your only option.

Skinner:Too cute, too tall, too Siamese, too Siamese.

Willie:You see, the rat who told you about my rat was also a rat. It was rats within rats... which was also me dinner last night.

Willie:He gave me something you never could... an elementary school diploma.

Lisa:The rat symbolizes obviousness.