Dial N For Nerder

Homer:Come and get me, you syrupy stack of man-cakes.

Homer:It's too much work. Why don't you come and get me?

Homer:Oh, boy, dinner time! The perfect break between work and drunk.

Homer:Wait. What's that smell? It's like a stalk of broccoli fell in a pot of boiling water.

Homer:But I have all those old diets I still haven't finished.

Homer:I'll bet no man would touch you.

Betsy:Bell pepper repetition sequence - Instead of French toast... bell pepper, craving sugar... bell pepper, want beer... bell pepper

Homer:It's tangy like a pepper, but crunchy like a bell!

Vendor:Bell peppers... piping cold, crunchy and bland.

Homer:Three, please.

Homer · Marge:Well, they say muscle weighs more than fat. / Homer, your body is all fat.

Homer:I'm not even gonna dignify that with eye contact.

Homer:I'm looking for something, too... a bell pepper I don't like. Maybe it'll be this one. Wrong again.

Bart · Lisa:See that fat lady with the moustache? That's you. See that hippo rolling in dung? You're the dung.

Bart:Oh, but hers was better!

Jennifer:He used to be so loving. Now he says he's always working late, but when he comes home, his needles aren't even bloody!

TV Host:Most cheating happens when you think everything is just great.

Marge:Out of the house, kids! I have to make an adult phone call.

Bart · Lisa:Oh, man, not again... How would you...? Come on.

Sign:Springfield's National Park - Now smaller than ever

Bart:The Internet wrote it. I just handed it in.

Bart · Lisa:Cool! The strong kicking the weak's butt. / It's disgusting!

Marge:I didn't used to mind it when he'd lock the bathroom door and snack off, but when he's getting it regular, night after night after night...

Bart · Lisa:Dude, it's Saturday. What kind of a freak wastes his...? / May I join you?

Martin · Bart:You can brush, and I can blow! / Well, I agree you blow. / A lot of people blow, but no one blows like you.

Bart · Lisa:When you look up blow in the dictionary... / Bart, he's not gonna get it!

Bart:The bone's the very thing, methinks, to prank my sister and the dink.

Martin · Bart:It could be one of the major homos! / You're one of the major...

Bart:I can bike away much faster, and ring the bell to drown out bad thoughts!

Bart · TV:Let's watch TV! / Happy, happy safe at home

Kent Brockman:Sadly, his pocket was protected, but nothing else.

Lou · Chief Wiggum:Chief, that's evidence. / I know, but after it's evidence, it's a shirt again, isn't it?

Chief Wiggum:Hmm? Oh, dead. Definitely dead.

Bart:Hey, I was trying to help him. At worst, I'm an accomplice.

Lisa · Bookmobile driver:Got any Joyce Carol Oates? / Nope. It's all Danielle Steel.

Lisa:I'm saying this is worse than a million A minuses!

Bart · Marge:We were never outside. We were here all day. / That quick talking is never a good sign.

Homer:I, uh,... have to count the atoms at the nuclear plant. Conservation of mass. It's the law.

TV Producer:It'll finally win me the respect of my father, the Reverend Billy Graham, Junior.

Principal Skinner:Martin Priss, Martin Princess, Fartin' Prince, Martin the Brown-Nosed Reindeer

Principal Skinner:Martin was a shy, awkward child who will never fulfill his promise to become a weird, unloved adult.

Jimbo:Usually when I do something bad, I feel good. But not this time. Martin was like Jesus, only real.

Nelson · Jimbo:Martin was afraid of heights. What's he doing on a cliff? It don't add up. / Hey, look who's trying to add.

Cameraman · Producer:I used to make documentaries about coal miners, migrant workers, things that mattered. / Yeah yeah, we're all whores. Just get in there.

Bart · Lisa:What do you mean 'what's up'? Why would something be up? Yeah, nothing's up, nothing's down, except for Martin, who died.

Homer:Well, I certainly wasn't eating chips and salsa from this briefcase.

Milhouse · Bart:Hey, you little murderer. / What?! / Those shades are killing me, they're so cute.

Lisa · Bart:We can't be seen together. / But we're brother and sister. / Exactly.

Chief Wiggum:I like how 'Kwik' is spelled with a 'K.' It's a quicker way of spelling 'quick.'

Chief Wiggum:Found this bone tied to a string. Almost like someone was playing a prank on him.

Bart · Dr. Hibbert:Everyone likes pranks, e-even Dr. Hibbert. / I hate pranks.

Bart (note):I can't live with the guilt. I'm going to Martin's house to end it all

Bart:By which I meant bring Martin's butterfly project to completion.

Bart:I'm on a freight train to Crazy Town.

Tape player:Congratulations on purchasing the Sanyo DL30, the finest non-reversing tape player

Martin's Recording:Clawdy-claw, clickety-cloo, clawdy-claw...

Homer:Pudding power, activate!

Marge:I'd rather have a chubby hubby than a sexy exy.

Homer:If there was a reality show called Fat Guys Who Really Love Their Wives, not only would it be an enormous ratings success, but I'd be the first one on it.

TV Producer:I'm going to the editing room to make you look insane.

Bart:I almost flicked an innocent butterfly.

Lisa:Listen, world, we killed Martin Prince!

Nelson:You almost got away with it, but here's where you got sloppy: shouting out that you did it.

Lisa:I'll let you cherry-bomb my Malibu Stacy.

Martin:To quote Mark Twain, 'rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.'

Martin:For years I've worn underwear with a wedgie-accommodating waistband. On that fateful day, these mighty whiteys saved my life.

Martin:I spent an hour fashioning an escape raft and three days crafting this modesty skirt.

Lisa:I learned that beneath my goody two-shoes lie some very dark socks.

Bart:And I learned that killing a nerd is not as fun as it sounds.