Any Given Sundance

Homer:Behold the tailgate party, the pinnacle of human achievement!

Homer:What child birth is to women, eating trunk meats is to the bewanged.

Homer · Marge:What could be greater than eating and drinking for hours in a drizzly parking lot? - Anything. - No. Everything is better. - Anything! - Everything!

Ralph:Daddy, I made a Ralphwich!

Ralph:It tastes hurty!

Chief Wiggum:No, no, no. I'm sorry. It's food. It's food. Everything's what you say it is.

Homer:When you know the people you're begging from, it's mooching.

Homer:Moleman! Come here, ya big bag o' skin!

Lisa:Springfield U sucks! A&M cheerleaders are clumsy! Your superstar professors treat undergrads like an afterthought! Your tenure track is heavily politicized!

Lisa:Well, I guess I could cut loose and do a little homework.

Lisa:I am a born film maker!

Lisa · Mr. Kincaid:Three points out of a possible five. Ah, that's a funny joke, Mr. Kincaid. Is this an art class or a comedy class?

Mr. Kincaid · Lisa:I can make it a two. - Three it is!

Skinner:It's as if Ingmar Bergman and Penny Marshall had a baby.

Skinner:When Edna Met Seymour, Ghost Willie, Killing Seymour's Mother, The Principal Who Sold a Screenplay.

Skinner:Orlando or Hollywood? There's one in Hollywood?!

Skinner · Lisa:Not the smarty-pants answer. Where's the drama in your life? - My family! - Language, rhythm and spectacle.

Skinner:All I ask is, if you ever win an Oscar... give it to me.

Skinner:Those cabinetmakers laughed at me, but they'll see.

Homer · Lisa:Can I be Smithers? - No, Dad, I want you to play Homer Simpson. - Why, 'cause I'm fat?

Bart:What, I'm going for a Shia LaBeouf thing. Not quite a nerd, not quite a hunk... Shia LaBeouf!

Bart:Uh-oh, there's already an on-set romance.

Marge:Homie, she's not making a snuggle film.

Chalmers:I'm thrilled! Or would have been, if not for your knee-jerk assumption that I'm angry at you, which I am now.

Chalmers:The whole school is made up of modeling clay. Every afternoon, they reshape it just to get my goat.

Chalmers:Banff? Banff, Shmanff. I'm talking about Sundance!

Chalmers:If Lisa's movie gets in, we won't just be the school with the highest hamster mortality rate. Ah, so young. We'll also have a kid who did a thing.

Sundance Judge:Paul Giamatti... is the world's greatest superspy... who only exists in the mind of an overweight agoraphobic jazz musician... played by Martin Lawrence in a fat suit.

Sundance Judge:Oh, and she's eight years old!

Homer:Save the Children? Save your breath. Take a hike, Sierra Club. Doctors without Borders? Doctors without money!

Homer:Robert Redford? Guess what. A scissor runs through it.

Bumblebee Man:Aye, los DVDs! With director's commentary and deleted scenes!

Jim Jarmusch:Who are you? I try to answer that question in my films. What else? I can eat a raw onion without crying.

Jim Jarmusch:Yeah, but I'm crying about something else. What? This is the last time we'll ever be together.

Homer:I get it. Every title means the opposite of what it means. Then I bet I'll love Chernobyl Graveyard.

Homer:I didn't.

Lisa · Bart · Homer:You know these guys? I've never seen them before. Uh... we, uh... He's... He's, uh... he's, uh... That's a joke.

Homer · Marge:This can't be real. It isn't. You crashed and now you're lying unconscious in a snowbank.

Homer:Chalmskinn.

Homer:Why... doesn't... life... give me... ladders?!

Audience Member:They're like the family from hell on acid that's on steroids.

Lisa:You did, Dad.

Audience:Brava, Lisa! Shame on Marge! Death to Maggie!

Bart:I knew you were lame, but I never imagined you were bogus.

Marge:Quirky? Quirky is a grandma who gives people the finger. You made us look like monsters.

Reviewer:Landspeeder, do not Bantha, to your nearest cinema

Reviewer · Homer:I'm sorry. You're too late. I have just hit 'enter,' sending the wi-fi beams along their way. Not if I can help it. Come here, beams, come on. Hey, hey, where you going? Come... Oh, there's too many.

Agent:I just said I was thinking of adopting Scarlett Johansson. I mean, is that so wrong?

Skinner:We want ten percent of the first-dollar gross, full European distribution rights, and access to the most exclusive VIP tent in Sundance.

Principal Skinner:They don't even know that my pockets are full of bottled water and cornbread.

Skinner:They don't even know that my pockets are full of bottled water and cornbread.

Bart:I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.

Lisa · Jim Jarmusch:That doesn't sound like your kind of movie. It will be. Check out the poster.

Skinner:That's why they call me 'Two Basket' Skinner. What? They do.

Nelson's Mom:You're going to be the classiest girl at Classy Girls.

Nelson's Mom:If I want that golf umbrella, I got to get to smoking.

Nelson:I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.

Jim Jarmusch · Lisa:True, but I was also teaching you that festival buzz is, like my movie Coffee and Cigarettes, a funny thing. - Did you see it? - Well, I, uh... That's okay. I know you did.

Jim Jarmusch · Lisa:True, but I was also teaching you that festival buzz is, like my movie Coffee and Cigarettes, a funny thing. - Did you see it? - Well, I, uh... - That's okay. I know you did.

Jim Jarmusch:And now, like the best independent films, I must fade out with a cool dissolve. That hurts.

Homer · Marge:We'll be in another movie, and this time we'll act really bad. No more Simpsons movies. One was plenty.

Principal Skinner:I'm not going to lie to you guys. John C. Reilly would love to be in the Chalmskinn business.

John C. Reilly:Read it? I lived it. I am Ghost Willie. Check this out.

Chalmers:Why can't you be a gentle clinker?