Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind

Bart:The capital of montana is not "hannah"

Willie:Nobody steals Willie's breakfast!

Homer:I must've really tied one on last night.

Homer:No more drinking.

Homer:6:00 A.M. Still early enough to sneak into bed and pretend I actually got home at 3:00 A.M.

Homer:Or yourselves?

Homer:they must all be taking a family bath. Without me!

Homer:Show me on MapQuest. Fine. Google Maps.

Homer:Look, if this is about me eating your heart pills, they shouldn't have made them in Good 'N' Plenty colors.

Homer · Moe:A 'Forget-Me-Shot?' Never heard of it. Yeah, that means it worked.

Moe:You start with a splash of Jagermeister... then add sloe gin... Triple-Sec... Quadruple-Sec...

Moe:You stir it with a home pregnancy test till it turns positive...

Homer:Jeez, I don't look like that.

Unknown patron:I was trying to do a Don Rickles about Arabs, but it turned into a Mel Gibson about Mexicans.

Unknown patron:Huh? What the hell am I doing here? I gotta get back to the Latin Grammys.

Angry crowd:There he is! Get him! Kill him! Hot-sauce his eyes!

Homer:Everything's fine cupcakes and sprinkles.

Chief Wiggum:All right, door! You're coming downtown!

Chief Wiggum:Not that I am authorized to release that information... Flanders! Fine, it was Flanders.

Chief Wiggum · Homer:Now, since you know everything, who was Jack the Ripper? The queen's private surgeon!

Ned Flanders:I heard a hubbub, Bub.

Ned Flanders:I can't say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst.

Homer:If only these walls could talk. People would pay to come see my amazing talking walls, and I could use that money to...

Unknown worker · Homer:You know, doing this is just confirming a stereotype for you Mexicans. I am from Costa Rica! And I should care because?

Glee club member:You'll eat our cookies, but you won't look at us!

Grandpa Simpson:That's like asking your horse to do your taxes, which I did back in 1998.

Grandpa Simpson:Punch that orderly who takes sips out of my juice. No, wait. That's the guy that saved my life.

Professor Frink:How about The Deja View-Master? Remembrance of things fast? The Remembererer?

Elderly patient:Ah, my first Christmas. Such great Chinese food.

Professor Frink:To me, 'nerd' stands for Not Even Remotely Dorky, so thank you.

Homer:Ah, it's got that new bubble smell.

Homer:Now remember-steer into the sculptures.

Homer:on top of my TV Guide?!

Homer:Someone like Bart, only smart. Lisa!

Lisa:You're getting this memory mixed up with a commercial you saw. With new Synergy Wireless, night time minutes start at 6:30...

Homer · 10-year-old Homer:You're superior to me in every way! Well, let's see how you do against 20-year-old Homer.

Lisa · Homer:Dad, you just destroyed your first kiss. Who was it with? Uh... Apu.

Memory Lisa:We're not really your kids. We're just representations of them that you created in your mind.

Homer:Hello. I'd like to order a pizza. 35 minutes?!

Professor Frink:Oh, can that tuna! We can get your brain to work the same way you always get the TV to work --by hitting it.

Memory doctor:We can get your brain to work the same way you always get the TV to work --by hitting it.

Duffman:I'm just giving it to your wife. She is gonna be sore tomorrow.

Professor Frink:Well, if you can't stand the neural activity, stay out of the neural activator!

Troll 1 · Troll 2:Hey, aren't trolls supposed to be under the bridge? Ha, ha, good-bye.

Marge · Homer:We were planning a surprise party for you. A surprise party?! This magic marker's running out of ink.

Homer:This is gonna be the greatest party ever! Oh, yeah! It's like Christmas in December.

Homer:I must be the first gullible husband to overhear snippets of surprise party planning and think it was my wife having an affair.

Various characters:Blue pants make you look fat. I've never learned your kids' names. Your yard is unkempt. It is obvious you're bald. Your thighs make noise. I find your small hands attractive. I've spit in every drink I ever served you.

Homer:No doubt I'll misconstrue that as him placing a cuckold's horns upon my brow.

Marge:Because you never feed him, walk him or let him out to pee.

Duffman:To a man I'm happy to call my best friend, Homer Simpsno! Simpson! Dyslexia, Duffman's secret shame.