Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh

Store Employee:The label is all in lowercase. It's like drinking E.E. Cummings!

Store Employee:Nourish. Vitality. Purple. Potato-lime. I love the '90s. New car smell.

Store Employee:It just means your bladder's full of science.

Store Employee:Now, if you'll excuse me, our company just went bankrupt.

Marge · Homer:Gotta find a place to tinkle! / Language!

Marge:And I'm a woman, so my going in unattended won't cause a panic.

Teacher:Okay, children, I've just been granted tenure. So I'm gonna sit back and let Ralph teach for a while.

Ralph · Ralph:Class, in what year was one plus one? / The answer is: 'The amazing Ralph'!

Ralph:The answer is: 'The amazing Ralph'!

Principal Skinner · Marge · Principal Skinner:Mrs. Simpson, let me pour you a drink. Scotch? Vodka? Gin? I've got everything you want. / I want my kids in a decent school! / Hey, I want the 'check engine' light on my dashboard to shut off, but that ain't gonna happen.

Marge:They were playing dodge book!

Marge:Oh, I can't understand that math reference, because I went to Springfield Elementary!

Janey:Their auditorium and their gym are two different rooms!

Homer:Their house prices have commas in them.

Homer:As it is, our lawn is just green-painted cement.

Lisa:'tis better to have learned and lost, than never to have learned at all.

Bart:We could go to a school where special doesn't always mean bad!

Bart · Teacher:And where the teachers don't have to moonlight as telemarketers. / As you know, the music of Air Supply is timeless.

Homer:Oh, elementary school friends-- Those are forever! You're always gonna be friends with Milhouse.

Landlord:'Ahso sheepay' to you.

Landlord:Sometimes, there's not a train going by.

Homer:Four walls? Hmm, I was thinking more of something in a two or three.

Homer:Play it cool, Homer. Don't let her know it's perfect.

Landlord:In the Ethiopian restaurant at the end of the block.

School Official:Oh, I can see them now with their bald heads and their blue-haired wives. How I despise them.

Inspector · Homer:Call it, friendo. / Heads. I mean, tails. I mean, on its side.

Homer:The heat is off. The hissing from the radiator is a snake.

Homer:Oh, that's another 20 or 30 years.

Principal Skinner:We need Lisa Simpson at Springfield Elementary. She's our top student, and she writes the fun facts in the morning announcements!

Principal Skinner:So... You're overseeing other people?

Homer's neighbor:This man-crush just got bro-mantic!

Homer · Homer's neighbor:You make words into dudes. / Guy-five!

Popular Girls · Lisa:I'm Caitlin with a C, this is Katelyn with a K, and this is Kate Lynn, two words. / I'm Lisa. One word.

Lisa:I'm Lisa. One word.

Lisa:I should warn you: By using the term 'lame,' you're violating the Americans With Disabilities Act.

Lisa · Teacher:At my old school, I got so many A's, the teachers didn't even check my work. / Maybe that's why you got so many A's.

Snake · Chief Wiggum · Snake:You wanted a pow-wow, Chief? / I know you've been dealing drugs at the high school. / I ain't gonna pin no tail on no donkey.

Chief Wiggum · Snake:Batman's gonna be there. / Ba-Ba-Ba-Batman?! I ain't messin' with no caped crusader!

Bart:She said that because she respects Alaska's privacy. Just as I have no doubt you guys will respect Lisa's privacy.

Bart:My plan was to lie. Lie like hell. And that's what I did.

Homer's neighbor:There's a kegger down the hall. We can go as soon as I desecrate this corpse.

Homer's neighbor:Foam wasn't spilt in a day.

Party guest:I was an astronaut for a little bit. So many rules.

Woman:We don't need a bed. We're not gonna be sleeping.

Homer's neighbor:I stop the oven when the middle is still a little bit frozen.

Homer's neighbor:How about you, me and my wife have a two-way?

Teacher:Oh, look, there are pumpkin stickers on the floor. They must have fallen off your homework for next week, which you don't have to hand in.

Lisa · French Ralph · French Ralph:L'école, c'est moi! (It's me, the school!) / Oui. C'est toi! (Yes. It's you!) / Au revoir! (Thank you!)

Marge:I love tapas! It's like appetizers for a meal that never comes.

Popular Girl · Popular Girl:A sheynam dank! (Thank you very much!) / Now my bar mitzvah means something.

Lisa:Can't build more seats.

Alaska Nebraska:I got a new nose, I got famous, and now I date the starting point guard for the L.A. Clippers.

Lisa:You know, I think those shirts should say insecurity. Because if you feel you have to put what you are on your shirt, then I feel sorry for you.

Homer's neighbor:Sometimes I think this 50-square-foot apartment isn't big enough for the both of us!

Popular Girls · Popular Girls · Popular Girls · Popular Girls:Those are last year's shoes! / Kill her! / Also, it's Lisa! / Kill her twice!

Inspector:I was looking forward to killing you and making it look like a suicide.

Inspector:Too bad. I was looking forward to killing you and making it look like a suicide.

Milhouse:Three weeks?! This has got to be some kind of record.

Homer's neighbor's friend:Your comments when we watch movies aren't funny.

Lisa:I just want to go back to a place where I'm ostracized for being me. Not for who I pretend to be.