Double Double Boy In Trouble

Homer:Stupid shopping list, turning food into work.

Bart:Look at me! I'm doin' something!

Homer:You better settle down, boy, or I'll drag you into the blind spot of that security camera and beat you with one of those big thick women's magazines with all the ads in it!

Apu:They say the last one is lucky! Unlike all the others.

Lenny:Ponder this, Homer. This ticket would have been yours if your kid hadn't been screwin' around.

Homer · Marge:You just cost me $200,000! - I thought it was 50. - I was gonna bet it on the dogs!

Marge:All the groceries seem to have been balled up in anger.

Homer:That kid has become a Dennis-level menace!

Barflies:Lenny, Lenny, he's our guy! Got the ticket Homer didn't buy!

Homer · Moe:I don't want your pity booze. I'll pay for it myself. / Nope, Lucky Lenny's buying all the drinks tonight.

Nelson:Don't waste your shot, Bart. You've got just enough cat pee to soak two dorks.

Bart:Uh... it was water this morning.

Bart:Ha ha! You feel self-conscious.

Homer:Well, Marge, you did have that one sip of alcohol while you were pregnant.

Bart:They're not boogers! They're clumps of rubber cement. That I stored in my nose.

Marge:Stop it, both of you! Don't make me drive into that tree. You know I will!

Lenny:In the beginning, there was darkness, so God created man. But man was alone. God created the animals and birds. But man was still lonely. So God said, 'Let there be friends!'

Carl:These are going right on my mom's grave.

Chief Wiggum:These innocent robots couldn't have done this on their own. Someone would've had to turn them all on at once, and then imbue them with some kind of malevolent sentience.

Lou · Robot · Chief Wiggum:Well, whoever did this must be long gone by now, Chief. I don't know how we'll ever catch him. / Kill! Kill! Kill! / Hold it right there, Bart!

Robot:Bart make Bot bad!

Bart:What? You can't take my Balderdash!

Bart · Simon:I don't know why I do the things I do. No one understands me. I wish I had a different family. / I feel exactly the same way.

Bart · Simon:Terrific? Incredible? Happy as a clown? / Oh, yeah, I'm livin' the dream.

Homer · Simon:Get out here, boy! I want to punish you before I get drunk and merciful! / Deal.

Chester · Bart:There you are, Master Simon! / Thank you, uh, Lipizzaner.

Driver:McMansion. McMansion. McMansion. McDonald's? McDreamy. McSteamy. McMansion. Fleetwood Mac, and Macauley Culkin.

Bart:A candy corn volcano! A ceiling from Saddam's palace! Ooh, and a racecar bed. That really races!

Joe Montana:I'm the real deal. Every day I stand here the family donates a million dollars to Notre Dame. Did you know the words 'Notre Dame' are French, but the team is the Fighting Irish? That's the kind of thing I think about in here.

Milhouse:'Blocked Number'? That service is $3.65 a month.

Marge:I made it with Cheetos, just like you like it. If the sauce is too thick, I can add more root beer.

Simon:Keep your meal in your mouth, you semiliterate spew-monkey.

Simon:Keep your meal in your mouth, you semiliterate spew-monkey.

Homer:If that boy thinks I'm paying to put him through four years of puberty, forget it. I'm made of hormones.

Devon:So I said, 'Dad, I wanted a Range Rover, not a Land Rover. This is the worst Martin Luther King Day ever.'

Bart · Devon/Quenly:The old hot spoon. But why? / Because you're our half-brother, you're blocking our full inheritance and we hate you.

Homer:For your information, The Daily Growl is the only newspaper that's not afraid to say how great this country is.

Homer:For your information, The Daily Growl is the only newspaper that's not afraid to say how great this country is.

Homer:How's the war going? We're winning? That's great. And our standing abroad? Fantastic.

Homer:This is like a rap video before the rappers show up.

Bart:Fancy party. This is like a rap video before the rappers show up.

Devon · Bart:Do you know that after a hundred years dead bodies turn to red licorice? / Whoa-ho, let me at it.

Smithers · Simon · Burns:All they had was Sunnytime Pink. / Premix? / I beg your forgiveness, lad. Smithers, pour it down your pants.

Burns:My older brother was trampled by a horse. My sister died of a poisoned potato. My twin was shot. That girl was stabbed. He ate another poisoned potato. Spontaneous combustion. Fell down a well. Potato. Potato, and impaled on the Chrysler Building.

Simon · Burns:Why won't you come down? / I told you I only weigh as much as my clothes and keys.

Grampa:You were listening? That means I've got to come up with an ending for this nonsense.

Grampa:It was the war to end all wars, but Pepsi would not give up. They continued to challenge Coke.

Lisa · Simon · Lisa:Oh. The real Bart would have thrown me out the window. / He would have defenestrated you? / You're just digging yourself even deeper.

Bart:You know, I have never packed before.

Simon/Bart:You know, I have never packed before.

Marge:Scrubbing you is easy 'cause you've been pre-rinsed. And when you're covered with goo, that's when I'm scrubbing you.

Simon · Homer:So now Bart is on his way to Aspen, where they're going to try to kill him. / Thank you, future Bart, for traveling back through time to warn us.

Wino:Uh, we're champagnos. Who wants a mimosa?

Quenly:Potato?

Homer:Oh, come on, gravity. You used to be cool.

Simon:Take me with you. I'll be anything and everything you want. Don't leave me here with them!