Treehouse Of Horror Xix

Homer:Hello, I'd like to vote for president, governor, and anything that will take money away from our parks and libraries.

Homer · Poll Worker:Oh! I can't fit in the booth! Use the double-wide.

Homer · Voting Machine:One vote for McCain. No, I want to vote for Obama. Two votes for McCain. Come on. It's time for a change! Three votes for McCain. No! No! No! Six votes for McCain.

Homer:This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio! But not in America!

Homer:Montreal Expos jersey. Somber String. Jacks, no ball.

Homer:And a Slunky ... 'IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING'

Homer:Oh, I wouldn't give these to my worst enemy, ... which happens to be Lisa.

Toy Truck:Girls don't like trucks! Come back when you're something else!

Bart:Merry Christmas, Dad. We bought you three more minutes of oxygen.

Lisa:I don't know how you could top last year's gift: a box of your burps.

Transformers:Snooze! Threeway! Melody!

Transformer:Wait a minute. We're missing Sex-Toy.

Sex-Toy · Other Transformer:Where have you been? Where haven't I been?

Homer:Well, the toaster's never lied to me before.

Homer:Finally a boxing day that lives up to its name.

Alien Robot:It is a good planet to settle things on.

Homer:Stop it! Stop it! Look, you have made the nacho machine cry.

Robot · Homer · Robot:That does not compute. Really?! It computes a little.

Carnage Destructicus · Bestimus Mucho:You know I, I... I don't remember. Neither do I.

Robot · Marge:And now that we are not fighting each other, we can team up to enslave your planet. That's great! Because working together, you can ... Oh ...

Homer · Lisa:Okay, who's the idiot who taught them what foosball was? I thought they might enjoy it.

Marge:Okay, Maggie, we'll be back in three hours. Or longer if something happens to us.

Signage:CRAZY ETHEL'S DAY CARE CENTER where your child learns to trust strangers

Krusty:Hey, hey, kids! Your old pal Krusty's gonna teach you five new words: Unlicensed use of my image.

Krusty:Entertain the troops? No way! What have they ever done for me?!

Homer:Well ... I'm no drunk driving.

Prince:Oh, my God, you finally did it. You mixed Buzz Cola with the smooth, rich taste of lemon.

John Wayne:Sounds ... like ... quite ... a ... deal ... pilgrim! I hate ... trans ... action ... fees!

George Washington:That ad implies that Mr. Lincoln and I are... betraying familiarities!

John Wayne:Put a sock in it, mushmouth!

Homer:Great party, Homer! Murdering Kate Winslet paid for that chocolate fountain.

Dead Gangster:Ah, you ripped me off. See? No, I didn't. See! You're gonna pay for what you done. See!

Krusty:I always thought I'd die of hepatitis ... C.

Homer · Rip Taylor:Rip Taylor? You're not even dead! Someone needs to check my apartment.

Homer:Well, your wife likes it.

Celebrity:It's a mix of voodoo and Methodist.

Lisa · Marge:What did you say, Mom? Nothing. I'm practicing my trombone.

Milhouse:I believe in the Grand Pumpkin, almighty gourd, who was crustified over Pontius Pie-plate, and ascended into oven. He will come again to judge the filling and the bread ...

Nelson:You are such a stupid moron! It makes people want to punch you! The Grand Pumpkin's superga-ay! Punch, punch, punch, punch, wedgie!

Bart:More Granny Smiths for me.

Milhouse:You owe me restitution!

Grand Pumpkin · Milhouse:Oh, how delightful-- bread made especially for pumpkins. Actually, it's made from pumpkins.

Grand Pumpkin:I'm gonna give you crossed eyes like you might see on an idiot, a stupid triangle nose and a big mouth full of the ugliest shaped teeth there are ... square.

Grand Pumpkin · Party-goer:Oh, God! Everywhere I look-- pumpkin atrocities!! Care for a pumpkin seed? You roast the unborn?

Grand Pumpkin:You roast the unborn?

Lisa · Grand Pumpkin:You're a racist! All pumpkins are racist. The difference is I admit it!

Milhouse:No. Who is he and what's his origin story?

Lisa:Um ... well, Tom is a magical turkey who gave the pilgrims the technology to put buckles on their hats.

Grand Pumpkin:A giant talking turkey? Preposterous!

Tom Turkey · Homer:You eat turkeys?! Oh, yeah. It's delicious! Especially when we take stuffing and shove it up the turkey's ... Revenge!!!!

Narrator/Character:Looks like those kids found the true spirit of Halloween. Or Thanksgiving. Or whatever.

Marge:And for those of you who feel like we've trampled on a beloved children's classic, I encourage you to write to the following address.