Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words

Bart:Buy a cup, or I punch my sister!

Lisa:It's true! He's not bluffing!

Lisa:What are we, a piano bar?

Homer:Lousy dog. If you had your way, I'd walk you every day.

Bart:Keep moving, deadbeat. Cash only.

Barney:Fine. Lemonade's for babies anyways. I'm going to Moe's, for beer!

Homer:Lisa, can Daddy borrow your bike?

Skinner:I understand. It can be very difficult for a woman to propose marriage.

Skinner:But I am willing to go halvsies on a ring.

Edna:Any of you lugs want to break up with my boyfriend for me? I'll buy you a beer.

Homer:No kids tying you down or a crippling mortgage that you refinanced at 26% because a dancing Internet cowboy told you to.

Skinner:Gee, compared to you, my life is one big half-day.

Skinner:and they were state runners up in 1997.

Homer:Oh, I'm afraid Lenny's dead. What? I just talked to him. And you will again, because he isn't really dead.

Homer · Inspector:Great gig. It is a great gig.

Bart · Lisa:35 cents? Where did that come from? Can't be mine. Must be yours. I don't care if it's 45 cents, I don't want it.

Inspector · Bart:Geez, I'm thirsty. You got any lemonade? Not anymore!

Doctor:Come on, come on. I was halfway through an operation when my license expired.

Clerk:Excitement. Oh, wait, that don't fit.

Clerk:I got it! 'Isaac Bashevis!'

Homer · Clerk:Whoo, what is a four-letter word for 'hero'? 'Hero.' Yes, but I meant 'Lisa.'

Grady:The gay guy? That's not all I am! Well, it's a lot of what I am.

Homer · Marge:Marge, I'm going to a hardcore gay club, and I won't be home till 3:00 in the morning! Have fun!

Bart · Lisa:You've gone completely fruit loops. 'Fruit Loops.' That's the answer to 38 down: 'Toucan's delight.'

Bart · Lisa:No, I mean you're loco in the co. 'Cocoa': 'Ice rink drink.'

Lisa:'Bart': 'San Francisco people mover.'

Julio:In his what?

Marge:Another religion? You know, you're just gonna drop the whole thing when you go to college and get a Jewish boyfriend.

Grandpa:Back then, we called them Alphabet Hotels, 'cause every letter gets its own little room.

Grandpa:'Will' and 'shorts'-- two things I'm no longer allowed to change by myself.

Comic Book Guy · Professor Frink:Who's driving the bus? What bus?

Homer:Sweet Conclusions Breakup Service... thanks to our patented Tender Dump System.

Groundskeeper Willie:What in the blue blazes are you doing to my hopscotching grids?

Skinner · Willie:You called? Made reference. My mistake.

Pool Boy · Willie:You called? You misheard. My mistake.

Ghost figures:We are the spirits of the relationships you killed.

Ghost babies:We're the babies those couples would have had.

Ghost furniture:And we're the antiques those couples would have bought together.

Lisa · Tournament Official:Surely some holds are barred. No, none.

Homer · Moe:And parlay with the Asian kid. He has a name, you know. What is it? I don't know. He's not my kid.

Homer:Just be yourself. I want to change my bet. I'm going against my daughter.

Moe:I'll take your money, but I won't look you in the eye.

Old Man:You know, my wife Shirley, she's the real crossword ace in our family. Fills in those letters fast as hail on a tin roof: ping-ping-ping, she's done.

Old Man:Hey, what can you do? Life keeps changing the music, but you gotta keep up the cha-cha-cha, huh?

Lisa:Hey, there are no lenses in these glasses.

Old Man:Let's see, that's 'Enrico Fermi', and there you've got the 'Pet Shop Boys,' and cross the T and zing the Z and skit-skat skoodily I'm all the way home.

Moe:Here's your money... drenched in your daughter's tears.

Homer:You know, for a bartender-bookie, you're awfully judgmental.

Lisa:He bought new shoelaces with fancy metal tips.

Homer:What's that, Mr. Teddy? You're saying that you know women, and that when women say they're not mad, they're madder than ever?

Lisa:From now on, I'm Lisa Bouvier!

Moe:So the name 'Lisa Simpson' is available, huh? Lotta goodwill attached to that name. I gonna take it. Lisa's Tavern, Lisa speaking.

Marge:Back in high school, the boys used to call me Marge 'Boobier.'

Homer:What did you think her name was before it was Kennedy? Jackie 'O.' Like SpaghettiOs. I thought that was where her money came from.

Lisa:My innocence died in those 441 little boxes.

Lisa:Diets! Oh, Will Shortz, you clever rascal.

Lisa:Diets! Oh, Will Shortz, you clever rascal.

Lisa:'Dumb Dad Sorry For His Bet.' Wow, it's almost as if Dad planted that message. No, it must just be a weird coincidence. But what if it's not? Oh, it must be. Or mustn't it not?

Homer:New York Times Crossword Editor Will Shortz! And master puzzle constructor Merl Reagle!

Will Shortz:And I edited it. Now get back to crosswording!