Character Analysis
Kang
31 jokes across 9 episodes of The Simpsons
12.1
31
7.0
7.0
Absurdist
Kang delivers 31 scored jokes across 9 episodes of The Simpsons, averaging 7.0 on craft and 7.0 on impact for a career WAR of 12.1. Their comedy leans toward absurdist. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Kang Lines
Kang:That board with the nail in it may have defeated us... but the humans won't stop there. They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails. Soon they will make a board with a nail so big... it will destroy them all!
Kang · Kodos · Ned:Aahh! He's got a board with a nail in it! Enslave humanity, will ya?! Run, Kodos!
Kang:It's a two-party system. You have to vote for one of us.
Homer · Kang:-You speak English. -I'm speaking Rigelian. By coincidence, our languages are exactly the same.
Kang · Kodos:Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected. Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.
All Jokes — 31 total
Homer · Kang:-You speak English. -I'm speaking Rigelian. By coincidence, our languages are exactly the same.
Kang:To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
Homer · Kang:-What are you looking at, buddy? -Your wife's quite a dish.
Homer · Kang:-Do you get HBO? -No. That's extra.
Kang · Homer:Anyone that has mastered intergalactic travel, raise your hand. All right, then.
Kang:I have a feeling you'll be the guests of honor.
Kang:When we arrive, there will be plenty of time to chew the fat.
Kang:It's a harmless cookbook. It's just a little dusty.
Kang:Let me get this straight. They thought we would eat them.
Kang:Wait, there's still more space dust on here.
Kang:Well, if you wanted to make Serak cry, mission accomplished.
Kang · Kodos:Foolish humans. Oh, yes, Kodos. Earth is now ripe for the plucking.
Kang · Kodos · Ned:Aahh! He's got a board with a nail in it! Enslave humanity, will ya?! Run, Kodos!
Kang:That board with the nail in it may have defeated us... but the humans won't stop there. They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails. Soon they will make a board with a nail so big... it will destroy them all!
Kang:Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us.
Kang:Rum- so no one will believe your story!
Kang · Kodos:Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected. Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.
Kang:It's a two-party system. You have to vote for one of us.
Citizen · Kang:Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate. / Go ahead. Throw your vote away.
Kang:Calling home planet.
Kang:Holy flirking shnit. What's the message?
Kang:Warning! Warning! Prepare to be abducted.
Kang:You may choose either the backseat of a Camaro... an airplane bathroom, a friend's wedding... or the alley behind a porno theater.
Marge · Kang:Really? That seemed awfully quick. What are you implying? Nothing. Nothing.
Kang:He had to borrow a human brain
Kang:Can you believe it, Kodos? They left us out of the Halloween show!
Kang:This one keeps eating himself...
Kodos · Kang:Am I the only one here who's in horrible pain? / You're the only one who won't shut up about it.
Kang:Foolish Earthlings. Now is the perfect time to strike. They'll think it's another hoax.
Kang · Kodos:You said we'd be greeted as liberators. Don't worry. We still have the people's hearts and minds. I don't know. I'm starting to think 'Operation: Enduring Occupation' was a bad idea.
Kang · Kodos:We had to invade. They were working on weapons of mass disintegration. Sure they were.