Sea Captain

Sea Captain:Why buy a house when ye can buy a houseboat? Arr!

Sea Captain:That's real shag carpeting. Arr!

Sea Captain:Arr! Ya call that an anchor?

Sea Captain:Arr! Ya call that an anchor?

Sea Captain:Aw, squiddy, I got nothing against ya. I just heard there was gold in your belly. Ha, ha, harr! Ha, ha, harr!

Sea Captain:Arr! This picture will serve me well on those lonely nights at sea.

Sea Captain:Arr! Here be a fine vessel... the yarest river-goin' boat there be. I'll take it. Arr. I don't know what I'm doin'.

Sea captain · Mr. Burns:I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail round the horn and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen. - We're building a casino! - Arr.

Sea Captain · Mr. Burns:Once, when I was sailing around the Arctic... - Shut up, you.

Sea Captain:Arr! That's Handsome Pete. He dances for nickels. Pete, ye got some customers.

Sea Captain:Not a quarter! Arr! He'll be dancing for hours.

Sea Captain:Not a quarter! Arr! He'll be dancing for hours.

Sea Captain:Arr! I'm in a lot of trouble now.

Sea Captain:Hey, I'll give you a hundred bucks to take the blame.

Sea Captain:Arr! Someone should be keelhauled for that one.

Sea Captain:Yarr! I'm not attractive.

Sea Captain:Yar! I nailed that one about houseboats. Did you?

Sea Captain:I lost this eye in Haiti. I was drinkin a mai tai... and I forgot to take the little parasol out.

Sea Captain:Yar! Sometimes I wonder why I bother plundering at all.

Sea Captain · Homer:We stress tough love- daily chores and the like. / No. We're not sending the lobster away to some snobby boarding school

Homer · Sea Captain:If you don't have a captain, I could be that. Arr! What other ships have you been on? I've been on that one. The taffy shop.

Sea Captain:Welcome aboard the ship of... lost souls. The name on the back says Honeybunch. Yarr, I've been meaning to paint over that.

Sea Captain:Scalping tickets to the Super Bowl. Have you no shame, sir? I should give you a royal caning.

Sea Captain:They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality... for about 10 minutes.

Sea Captain:Arr! Not a looker among 'em.

Sea Captain:Oh. Two glass eyes.

Sea Captain:Ah. What a shame. Not a looker in the bunch.

Sea Captain:Arr! Here you are. One critic's special. If anything appears to be movin'... that's just freshness.

Sea Captain:Arr, it covered up the 'D' from the health inspector.

Sea Captain · Luigi:Lard ho! Arr, 'tis a good sign. Homer's unfastened the top button on his pants. Uh, no, he's been walking around like that since Thanksgiving.

Luigi · Sea Captain:I'm surprised he just doesn't give it up and go for sweat pants. He says the crotch wears out too fast. Yarrr! That's gonna replace the whale in my nightmares!

Sea Captain:Yarrr! That's gonna replace the whale in my nightmares!

Sea Captain:So I guess I'll have to see someone else about my crippling depression. Arr. Arr.

Sea Captain:Sea Captain: 'Arr, I now pronounce ya man and cow.' [Cow moos]

Willie · Sea Captain · Professor Frink:Aye. Yarr. Oh, glavin! Why, glavin?

Sea Captain:Arr! Help. I was tied here by teenage pirates.

Sea Captain:Don't worry. It's inflammable.

Sea Captain · Nelson · Homer:Yarr, ye scurvy dogs! Ow! Ow! Worst parents ever! Ha-ha! Hey! No extension cords!

Sea Captain:Yarr! I'll enjoy that.

Sea Captain:This sugar shark is delicious. Ow! Hey, he bit me back!

Sea Captain:Hey, I found some pearls. No, wait. They're just my teeth. Well, I can still make a necklace out of them.

Sea Captain:This be a superball.

Sea Captain · Moe:Are you hitting on me? Because I don't do that...on land.

Sea Captain:Yarr! I'd be happy to scrimshaw your petition.

Sea Captain:Argh! I'd be happy to scrimshaw your petition

Sea Captain · Sea Captain's Mother:Mother, I served in Nam. / And you've been bitching about it for 30 years.

Sea Captain:Shut up. What am I, some sort of joke to you people?

Sea Captain:Shut up. It's not that exciting.

Sea Captain:Hey, without oil, you wouldn't have your fancy four-wheel drives. You want to go back to two-wheel drive? Well, do you?

Sea Captain:I didn't mean to steal focus.

Lisa · Sea Captain:Where do you keep the fish till it's done? Oh, they're well taken care of in our storage facility.

Sea Captain:I brought you me finest catch of the day. We lost a dozen good men. But it's worth it just to see ye smile.

Sea Captain:That's it, eh? Twelve men. Well, I've got some families to inform. Unbelievable... Nothing. Just a curse on your very soul.

Sea Captain:'Cause we're packin'! Arr, a couple of these and your first mate turns into reese witherspoon.

Sea Captain:Arr, a couple of these and your first mate turns into reese witherspoon.

Sea Captain:Only PG. Nothing R. Yarrr.

Lisa · Sea Captain:We've heard the same story two times now. Whose side are we gonna hear next? The Sea Captain's?

Sea Captain:I can't believe I went five minutes without one of these dream sticks.

Sea Captain:Sea Captain wanting a friend who isn't a work friend but being unable to tell if people are flattering him because he's a captain

Sea Captain · Homer:Red lobster? Not that good.

Sea Captain:Slick Willie wiggles out of another one.

Sea Captain:Maybe they under-spawned... Maybe the fish killed themselves... Maybe you should marry Milhouse.

Sea Captain:Queer strange, or queer gay? Oh, a touch of both.

Sea Captain:All right, now listen, if a storm were coming, my trick knee would be acting up. Hey... hey... hey... hey. Dear God.

Sea Captain · Billy:Should I hit him with a shovel to spare him the pain of drowning? Not yet. What's the code word?

Sea Captain:Oh, Mother Sea, giver of fish, taker of boats, toilet to the world, the Greeks call you 'Poseidon,' the Romans... 'Aquaman.'

Sea Captain · Bart:Do you think your mother will every remarry? In about two seconds.

Sea Captain:Avast, ye sky whale!

Sea Captain:Maybe the next one!