Rocky Sucks

It's Chatterbox. They want me to go to the zoo and cover the birth of a baby seal.

Are you familiar with the country of Gjelgjiughm? Oh, took home to gold, silver, and bronze in skeet shooting during the 2028 Olympics. - No. - Then no.

Oh, took home to gold, silver, and bronze in skeet shooting during the 2028 Olympics. - No. - Then no.

You throw one bean in the air, two come back in your face.

Have you ever seen his hands? They are soft as marshmallows, pillowy as a duchess.

Also, my hands are out of frame on purpose. My hands are my best feature.

Hey, is there, like, a code that wrestler's use to let each other know an injury is real? Yeah, it's... Ugh, my knee. Augh, I hurt my knee.

You think this is the type of situation where that saying, 'add insult to injury' comes from? Yeah, probably, Bruno. Probably.

No, one of those popcorn kernels fell in my boot. - Damn. Lord ain't grantin' you no dignity today.

When you're not over and you get hurt, that gives the WWF an opportunity to cut you loose. - Hey! Don't talk to him like that right now. He is delicate. - I'm not delicate. I say you are delicate; You are delicate, Dewey.

Pretty limited on pillow options. I'll pick you up some more. Dany doesn't believe in throw pillows. She says they just take up space.

These are all the same. Mm-mm. Check the neckline. Deep, deeper, and deepest. I told him go deepest. Popped pecks pay rent checks.

She's supposed to be a silent partner. You said that, not me.

My only complaint is my physical therapist keeps referring to it as 'our knee.'

Keep up the good work, Dewey. - Okay. - Au revoir.

You'll always have that criminology minor from Miami.

Actually, sir, victim was full-grown adult male. - You're just really big.

She ain't pregnant is she? - Dad, no. Okay, good. 'Cause she drinkin' a lot for a pregnant woman.

It's like a microwave that's also a radio. The presets are defrost, popcorn, and Cool 101.5?

Maybe keep it under your kitchen sink.

Look, I'm not gonna say I'm disappointed, but, uh, I was really expecting a roasted pig for this occasion.

I believe in an unbalanced portfolio. Yeah. Risk and aggression... Now that is what the Macho Man is all about, baby. Yeah, dig it.

Like, I purposely didn't eat pig yesterday 'cause I thought for sure that we were gonna have pig today. Yeah, Fa'amalo, Dewey and Dany. And sorry for asking for that plus one. She did not want to come. And there-there-there's no... There's no pig.

So how long do we think until one of these guys splits their pants? That's why ol' Bruno always travels with a sewing kit.

It's like I always say, Vince doesn't send a gold-plated microwave that's also a radio to wrestlers he doesn't believe in. Oh, that's what you always say, huh?

Come to think of it, I owe the kid a headband.

I guess when the invite said black tie, I forgot to mention black mustache.

I'll be honest, the bleach job is hell on my nostrils. Oh, yeah. It's hell on my eyes, too.

I was gonna say punchable. But, yeah, earnest is good, too.

You got any lactate? My tummy ain't much for dairy. - I, uh... - Screw it. I'll hit the dance floor and blame Macho.

Hey, how many do you think it'll take to pull me around the pool, two, maybe three?

Don't use it. It's been recalled. Cancer stuff. Terrible product. I'm sending you a blender instead.

That's so weird. Biloxi was my second choice for honeymoon destinations.

I like a guy with the confidence to wear pink pants.

Wait, that was your 'bad dude' look? Are those denim shorts?

Orville Redenbacher you are not.

I'ma always shoot you straight. You ain't pop worth a damn. - Straight out the gate, huh? Snap, crackle, no pop. - And you're still going. Orville Redenbacher you are not.

People ain't gonna give a damn till you make them give a damn.

You're the fourth man in a four-man crew. I don't think Vince is thinking about your angles.

Boss, I got my time card here for you to sign. I worked one hour on Monday. Two hours on Tuesday. Wednesday was a bank holiday. Four hours on...

'Raw' is like a fine-tuned Swiss watch, hmm? Timed to the second. Or better yet, like a sausage that's been stuffed full of pork to the brink of explosion.

Rocky, pull up your tank. Your son's wife can see your chi-chis. Everybody can see 'em. I worked hard on these babies. Ba-boom!

My cat throws up a human thumb. Is it interesting? Sure. But is it good? No. - Did that really happen? - Hey, stay focused.

She uses your catchphrases in her speeches. She knows all of your matches in detail, and I think, with the exception of 'Huskies,' has seen all of your movies. Is she not an animation fan or something? Because 'Huskies' was good.

Will you go on a coffee run for America? I'm honored, Mr. President. Thank you. But no. - Fantastic. Wait... Wait, I didn't hear that last bit.

I'm honored, Mr. President. Thank you. But no. - Fantastic. Wait... Wait, I didn't hear that last bit.