Character Analysis
Malcolm
Played by David Arquette
8 jokes across 1 episodes of Friends
0.8
8
6.4
6
Character Comedy
Malcolm delivers 8 scored jokes across 1 episodes of Friends, averaging 6.4 on craft and 6.0 on impact for a career WAR of 0.8. Their comedy leans toward character comedy. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Malcolm Lines
Phoebe · Malcolm:Once, in junior high school, I thought I was a witch. And a guidance counselor told me something that might help you. He said, 'Okay, you're not a witch. You're just an average student.' / See what I'm saying? / Not really.
Phoebe · Malcolm:So what were you thinking? / I was thinking what it'd be like to kiss you. / Really? / No. That's just something I said now so that maybe I could kiss you.
Malcolm:And these are 'Madlibs'. They're just for fun.
Malcolm:Here's my binoculars. / These are my night-vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park.
Malcolm · Phoebe:One more chance, Ursula. Please. / This is awkward. Yeah, because you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters.
All Jokes — 8 total
Malcolm · Phoebe:One more chance, Ursula. Please. / This is awkward. Yeah, because you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters.
Malcolm · Phoebe:I am such a dingus! / Oh, you're not a dingus.
Phoebe · Malcolm:Once, in junior high school, I thought I was a witch. And a guidance counselor told me something that might help you. He said, 'Okay, you're not a witch. You're just an average student.' / See what I'm saying? / Not really.
Malcolm:Here's my binoculars. / These are my night-vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park.
Malcolm:And these are 'Madlibs'. They're just for fun.
Malcolm:'I met Phoebe today.' 'She was really nice to me even though I'm such a loser.' 'And when I was walking home, I thought about her a lot.' 'It was weird, but kind of cool.'
Phoebe · Malcolm:So what were you thinking? / I was thinking what it'd be like to kiss you. / Really? / No. That's just something I said now so that maybe I could kiss you.
Malcolm:Is this a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?