Selina's team tries to find a scapegoat. Catherine wants to support an anti-bullying campaign.
Eighty jokes in 35 minutes sustains Selina's chaos at peak velocity.
Directed by Becky Martin · Written by Simon Blackwell, Rob Gibbons, Neil Gibbons
WAR
78.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Data” ranks #30 of 65 Veep episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.6 — Elite. The episode packs 83 scored jokes at 2.3 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Character landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Wouldn't work. You're talking to a guy who once broke off an engagement at an Applebee's, then ordered dessert.
Dan Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch We'll skin you like a squirrel, clean you out like a dirty fucking chimney, and wear you like a glove puppet with my fingers sticking out of your dead fucking eyeballs.
Ben Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch I cannot endorse that message, but I do acknowledge it.
Kent Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Whatever happened to Ebola? I loved Ebola.
Selina Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Are you bullying me into dropping an anti-bullying charity?
All Jokes — 83 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ How did he write the note?
Selina Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Well, they do need to stay thin.
Selina Dark/Subversive Character Comedy I preferred the Internet when it was just AltaVista and that little Star Wars kid.
Well, there's a town with no Gay Pride parade or a goddamn library.
Oh, thank you, Question Man. You just saved the entire city. Or did you?
This is catching fire like a gas station in a Michael Bay movie.
Or a time whose problems I've suppressed.
Character Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy I'm vaping. That's not the point.
He photographs well for his age.
Character Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Is it a good apple? - It's a baking apple. - Fuck 'em.
Selina Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Oh, my God, I look like Grandpa.
Yeah, I know. This is so disrespectful.
Selina Reaction Beat Character Comedy And... the girl, that is, has HIV.
Mike Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Yeah, I know, he's fluffing the hacks.
Oh, thank you for remembering I have a daughter, ma'am.
And also my name.
Lyle Escalation Character Comedy I mean, you know, I'm the rock star. She's not the rock star.
Selina Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort I think some guy fucked a monkey.
You're right, I didn't.
Mike Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort That's not just a breach. That's a data rupture.
15% of them were hired to be fired.
We call them the Expendabelles.
Just another Saturday night.
Dan Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Hey, Egan, is somebody gonna get fired over this AIDSnami?
Jonah Wordplay/Pun Observational I'm the Dan who can.
Dan Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy He was up to his thighs in it.
Richard Observational Character Comedy How's the view from down there, you snake?
Dan Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Law and order mixed with very mild reggae.
It's like a comforting balance.
This goat's not gonna scape itself.
Dan Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy I'm just waiting for the press to throw me in a pond to see if I'll float.
Jonah Observational Character Comedy Just like my actual honeymoon with Daddy.
What you'll look like when you're leaving office, except you look exactly like you do now.
Oh, God, welcome to my childhood. And adulthood, actually.
the surgeon will be tweezering tiny shamrocks out of your eye jelly for a week.
I did balloons for Jerry Ford in '76. Met him. Asshole.
I just named it Presidential because of that asshole Ford.
Look, the news moves so quickly, we'll have a new iPhone or the Chinese will be in Chicago.
Sting might as well be singing 'I'll access your medical data' in a fake Jamaican accent.
Amy Observational Absurdist He's the vice president, not the new Lexus.
Amy Observational Character Comedy It's Ellie. Lee. Lee? Lee. Ah.
Well, it's mostly self-help audio books and relaxation tapes. I'm quite an anxious man.
Well, it's mostly self-help audio books and relaxation tapes. I'm quite an anxious man.
Technician Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Screwed over by the Police. I'm Rodney fucking King.
Doyle Dark/Subversive Observational Not Sting. Kurt Cobain. Well, not him.
Gary Misdirection Character Comedy It's like getting a valentine from your own mom, you know?
Selina Observational Deadpan/Understatement We'll be down to nano-donors.
Do I think it's the thing I should do? Is that your question, Mike?
Girl in the writers' room for the joint sessions speech. She was also at the rally tonight. Sci-fi Sally something.
Dan Character Comedy Observational I see splashes of myself in her. I now regret that phrase.
Gary Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Who's my sister-in-law who works for the American Family Group.
Dan Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Wouldn't work. You're talking to a guy who once broke off an engagement at an Applebee's, then ordered dessert.
Dan Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Fitting that for Easter this story refuses to fucking die.
Whatever happened to Ebola? I loved Ebola.
Selina Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch We need to cut the throat of a bigger goat.
You know, that kind of surprised masturbator face.
Like a massive Easter Island-sized head.
Dan Observational Escalation I could wear a child's hat.
Jonah Character Comedy Observational Hey, 'I Am Groot,' stop swapping spit here with 'Pretty Woman'
Damn, man, this guy's balls are so big, they're practically tits.
That isn't, Jonah. That's sexual harassment.
Richard Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy I wasn't bullied by you, I was bullied because of you.
Catherine Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Well, I apologize for my success, Catherine.
Selina Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Are you bullying me into dropping an anti-bullying charity?
You're parenting.
Gary Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Well, then, why don't you tell me and I'll decide whether or not I know it?
Selina Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Don't give me that bunker shit. Hitler went into a bunker. When he came out, he wasn't chancellor anymore, was he? Plus he was dead.
Selina Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch I'll tell you something, if he were alive right now, he'd be very anxious to distance himself from me at this moment.
Selina Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch This is a head-on collision and I'm your biggest air bag.
Ben Observational Character Comedy And that's sad 'cause that's your whole job.
You leave a gap. We're not piss buddies.
Still, you leave a gap. We're not piss buddies.
You swear by everything you hold dear in your hand right now?
You did two tours of Afghanistan? Yes, ma'am. I saw my best buddy die over there. Blown to pieces by an IED.
And me and Kent are about to turn into two horny cheerleaders and start making out.
We'll skin you like a squirrel, clean you out like a dirty fucking chimney, and wear you like a glove puppet with my fingers sticking out of your dead fucking eyeballs.
Ben Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch I cannot endorse that message, but I do acknowledge it.
Kent Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch How about Captain Loser? Or Big Chief Skidmark?
Is that your son? He's gifted.
Oh, God, I meant southeast gate.