Amy

I decorated Dad's office. Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing.

Is this Emmett? It's Emma. It's a girl?

Not really. But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date.

That was me. No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade. Still me.

No, I'm not talking about you. It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro. Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me!

She's precious. Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose?

Amy.... Yes, I do. I really do.

Seriously? It's just these rooms? I thought you were a doctor.

I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys.

Your baby had some sort of explosion of stink. The bonding's going great.

Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you.

Yeah, I think so. It's nice to meet you, Emma. Phoebe. That's a funny noise.

If you guys died!

At first I wouldn't know what to do with her. And then I would rise to the occasion. Then I'd get a makeover and get married. That's a great movie!

I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. Emma? Ross wants you.

Phoebe! Why does she keep making that noise?

Connected? To what? She's a lump.

That you two.... That you two.... This guy?

Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? No, honey. That's a special plate. See, it's a game. Whoever gets that plate wins. I can't believe I won!

Monica is Ross' sister. No, Ross' sister was really fat.

If you guys die... and the crazy plate lady dies... then do I get the baby?

Who has to die for me to get her?

There's your movie.

What career? I'm a decorator. You decorate Dad's office and now you're a decorator? Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear.

You didn't come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! I did the first time.

Well, how hard could it be? You do it.

Yeah, well, you know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister... gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail? It's 45. You bitch.

Your baby isn't even that cute.

Hey, man, I work out! So do I. I do Pilates. I do yoga. Bring it on!

Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy!

You are not gonna regret this.

Did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?

You are not good.

Hey, your English is getting better.

No, I was talking about your bedding.

And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room.

It's his dad.

God, we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.

I'm gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr. Right.

I'm Erin Brockovich.

Oh, sweetie, you can't pull this off.

Listen, I couldn't help but overhear, because I was trying to.

Doesn't it make her nose look smaller?

Why, did something happen to his falafel cart?

I am going to be a baby stylist.

Enter Amy.

Ass and face.

She was. Carbs found her.

It's almost as if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly.