Doug

Tim · Doug:It's a feeling you get. Like when you're in somebody else's bowling shoes? That's the one.

Doug · Tim:I've been sleeping with your wife. You're the gynecologist?

Doug · Chandler:There is no I in 'team.' Yes, but there's two in 'martini.' So, everybody, back to my office.

Doug · Chandler:This team's about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard, Bing!

Doug · Coworker:Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks! You go to Dartmouth? No, sir. There you go! Ha-ha-ha.

Doug:I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home. Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller.

Doug:Is it the swearing? Is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell you, if it is, you can just kiss my ass!

Doug:Of course you did. Forgot something else too, you bastard!

Doug:Hey, Bing! Ha-ha-ha.

Doug:Dewey, Cheatem & Howe

Doug:We should all support President Clinton and her husband, Bill.

Doug:Bing! Ho, and the Bingette!

Doug:Heh, sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap.

Doug:Well, give it time.

Doug:They keep throwing sexual harassment cases at me...and I keep knocking them out of the park!

Doug:Well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised. I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there.

Doug:And the way she looked at me, pure lust.

Doug:But to hell with that bitch!

Doug:If you whip it right, you might hit a seagull in the head.