Doug

It's a feeling you get. Like when you're in somebody else's bowling shoes? That's the one.

I've been sleeping with your wife. You're the gynecologist?

There is no I in 'team.' Yes, but there's two in 'martini.' So, everybody, back to my office.

This team's about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard, Bing!

Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks! You go to Dartmouth? No, sir. There you go! Ha-ha-ha.

I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home. Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller.

Is it the swearing? Is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell you, if it is, you can just kiss my ass!

Of course you did. Forgot something else too, you bastard!

Hey, Bing! Ha-ha-ha.

Dewey, Cheatem & Howe

We should all support President Clinton and her husband, Bill.

Bing! Ho, and the Bingette!

Heh, sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap.

Well, give it time.

They keep throwing sexual harassment cases at me...and I keep knocking them out of the park!

Well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised. I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there.

And the way she looked at me, pure lust.

But to hell with that bitch!

If you whip it right, you might hit a seagull in the head.