Goodbye Toby

Oh, today we saw a junk yard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.

Nature.

I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar.

I will quit. As God is my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.

Pam, when I first opened this catalogue, I thought I was just going to be picking out a chair. But instead you found something to distract you from ever picking out a chair.

I really want it.

Look at her smile. It's the eyes. Look at her eyes. She's got... I don't know what it is, exactly. She dresses like a professional, and yet you know there is a side of her that could just curl up on a couch. Or in a great chair.

I definitely remember your dinner party.

I think what I meant was that I am completely swearing off one woman. Jan.

I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. And I'm optimistic, because every day I get a little more desperate, and desperate situations yield the quickest results.

When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go.

use the woman on Page 85 as a template. That will be all.

Call us when you get there, so we know you're okay.

If I had somebody to set you up with, Michael, then I'd take her for myself.

Are you still on good terms with any of her friends? Not anymore. It's a bitter situation.

Hello, Oscar Mayer Weiner lover. I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal girl-type friends who trust you implicitly, because they know you'd never touch 'em because of your condition.

Feisty? So she's not jolly or sassy? Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?

Could we share a rowboat? Could a rowboat support her? I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. Would an average-sized rowboat support her without capsizing?

It bothers me that you're not answering the question. No, all right? No, she can't fit in a rowboat. Damn it! I knew it! I knew it, Phyllis!

Because I want to play ball with my kids before I get too old. And before that happens, I need to get laid. And before that happens, I need to be in love.

No, by the end of the hour, or you are fired.

Help us out. Wish I could, but I can't. Well, can, but won't. Should, maybe, but, shorn't.

There's nobody I hate enough to write her name on this card.

Well, I'm setting Michael up with my fat friend, anyway. He can just deal with it.

Wendy's. Hello, Wendy. This is Kevin's friend, Michael. This isn't Wendy. I'm sorry. Could you put her on, please? Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant.

Could I just have a Frosty and a baked potato, please? You have to come to the restaurant to order food. Well, I'll send somebody to pick it up, just have it ready. It's ready now. Well, put it aside.

And as God is my witness, she shall bear your fruit.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! First, go to Wendy's, get my food, come back, and then go.

Deborah Shoshlefski, 142 South Windsor Lane. Dead, car accident. Case closed.

As dead as every dead animal who has ever died.

Jim, how dare you? Please, not at a time like this.

No, I mean it. She's really nice and sweet and you guys might actually get along. I don't think I'm ready. Is she hot?

No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.

Bill Cress is super old and really mean.

Give her a 10 for her looks, and a three for her ability to describe herself.

Large hot chocolate with caramel and a shot of peppermint.

You're asking me what I do with the checks that people write to me? Just making conversation.

And you can't see her whole body, down here, she has a boob job.

It was like talking to the sweet, old lady on the bus. That's incredibly rude. Now you ruined it.

Andrew Bernard is the name of me, and this is my associate, Mr. Kevin Malone.

And some people sweat too much for comfort, and... My God.

It's just nice to win one.

You're messy. You're a klutz, you spill everything. And you leave the volume on the TV way too loud.

Have I not proposed to you yet? I don't... No. Oh. Well, that's coming.

And when it happens, it's going to kick your ass, Beesly. So, stay sharp.

Wonders how he's gonna fill his car up with oil. Wonders, 'How am I going to pay my kids' orphanage bills?'

She was stoned, apparently.

My shoe is untied. What is your problem? Oh, my God! You thought I... No, no, no. How could I have thought that?

Bye, bye Miss chair model lady, I dreamt that we were married and you treated me nice