The Tough Brets

Bret:eminem is not very good

Bret:50 cent is not very good

Bret:Snoop dogg is not very good

Bret:mos def is not very good

Bret:but the rhymenoceros is very very good...

Bret:bass solo. Bass solo over.

Murray:Greg's written this. He's put the rs too far apart.

Murray:Texas, Lexus... two rhyming words. Do you think you could use those?

Murray:You can make sound, just make it so that people can't hear you.

Bret:No, it was Snoop dogg.

Murray:I know he's a dog, Bret.

Murray:He's lovable. Leave him alone.

Greg:All year.

Murray:What's wrong with that guy? Useless. What does he do all day?

Murray:You didn't hear that, did you, greg?

Murray:Good, so he didn't hear that last bit.

Murray:That's how you diss someone. Did you see what I did there? I didn't start a fight with greg, I didn't hurt his feelings. Greg's got feelings.

some people say that rappers don't have feelings

we have feelings

Jemaine:we're vincible

Bret:I feel like a prize asshole, no one even mentions my casserole

Bret:you could've said something nice about my profita rolls

Jemaine:and the assistant suggested I try a ladies' size

Jemaine:I'm not gonna wear a ladies' wetsuit, I'm a man

Jemaine:get me a small man's wetsuit, please

Jemaine:they forgot about me

Jemaine:the day after my birthday is not my birthday, mom

Bret:they're all lined up to watch that movie 'maid in manhattan'

Bret:they're all lined up to watch that movie 'maid in Manhattan'

Jemaine:once again, they forgot about j

were you ever called 'homo' because at school you took Drama?

have you ever been told that you look like a llama?

Jemaine:Death?

Murray:Yeah, or worse. Isn't it the same way with rappers back in newfoundland?

Bret:I'm not sure.

Murray:New zealand.

Murray:I heard of one rapper... he chopped this guy's whole body off, just left the dick behind.

Jemaine:Don't you mean they... they chopped off his dick?

Murray:No, I mean they held his dick and chopped his whole body off. That's all he was in the end... a dick.

Dave:Do I have gang experience? I was in the snake eyes, the duckies, the cuckoos, the vampires, the pharaohs, the ballroom dancers, the hobo lords, the little enchanters...

Dave:I was a navy seal for 15 years.

Bret:Okay.

Dave:I'm officially awol, so don't ask them about my existence, 'cause they'll deny it.

Mrs. Li:He says you have a kind face.

Dave:watering can tied to a hose. Pop! Cops show up, 'what's that, officer? No, just watering the geraniums.'

Australian:Oh no. A kiwi?

Kiwi:Oh no. Uh-oh.

Australian:Australian. Uh-oh.

Australian:Murray, I think you dropped new zealand's mineral exports for '08-'09.

Just pulling your tit.

Yeah, just pulling your boob.

Dave:I'm available most days after 6:00 but not weekends... and I can't say why.

Bret:Dinner with your parents?

Dave:Huh! No.

Bret:I have a bladder thing.

Mel:You don't like it. No, you don't. You practically admitted that you don't like it.

Mel:so you can see how strong and powerful you are, like the God ra... the sun God ra... or like a pharaoh.

Mel:I made one of Bret, but it came out a little weird, so don't tell him, okay? It came out x-rated, actually... some shadowing on the crotch got out of hand

Bret:We were just expecting missy Elliot was gonna come and chop my body off.

Murray:This gang is disbandoned.

Bret:No. Dis... what?

Murray:Disbandoned.

Bret:Disbanded you mean?

Murray:Abandoned? Yup, all of those things.

Jemaine:Yes. Who was in your gang, you and your mom?

Murray:No, Jemaine. It was me, my brother graeme, and my dad Gordon. Mom wasn't even allowed in it. No one knew why.

Murray:Dad was the leader, graeme found nice places for us to ride to and I was the guy that looked after the bags.

Jemaine:I had to throw it away! Because Bret was jealous.

Mel:Really? Was he going apeshit?

Jemaine:He went apeshit.

Mel:I swear on Doug's life I will fix this rift.

Australian:Miss new zealand... best looking Sheila in the whole country. Sorry, I didn't recognize you without the crown and sash.

Ambassador:But I thought flossy the sheep won miss new zealand every year.

Jemaine:have you ever been told that you're miss new zealand?

Dave:Mos def, the guy from 'law & order: SUV'? No, that's ice cube, but keep an eye out for him.

Dave:he was the voice of lightning the racehorse.

Jemaine:Bret, cool your jets, don't sweat

Jemaine:don't flip, don't get upset

Bret:not gonna sleep till I found him I'll pound him, I'll bet he regrets he ever messed with Bret from the tough brets!

what's the hurry?

hello, Murray, glad I caught ya

who's this? Your daughter?

Bret:Sorry.

Dave:You could get 10 years for that.

Dave:Where's the dapper dukes' hideout? It was right here. You know, we laid low for three straight months back in '58.

Dave:Maybe you're right, lil Louie. I'm getting old. This game ain't no good for me no more. I'm sorry, Louie. I'm out. So long, lil Louie.

Bret:How come I'm wearing gumboots?

Police Officer:Well, in the future, I suggest you don't kick children. we'll let this go because we don't like that particular kid, but we've got our eyes on you.

Mel:As you can see, I pretty much got the handsomeness. That's Jemaine. If you don't believe it, he can take his shirt off and you can be sure about it.