Steve

Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic!

'Tartlets?' 'Tartlets.' Word has lost all meaning.

These are-- They are like a little corn envelope, you know?

Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!

Bears overboard! They're drowning! Hey, fellas! Grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! Help! Help! I'm drowning! Help!

Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years. / Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.

I mean, I don't know Howard. / Howard's the handyman. / Yes, but to me, he's just 'man.'

3B. / You got your free food. You ruined everyone's fun. Isn't it time you went home? / Go back to 3B, 3B.

I'm kind of funny-looking.

Well, I'm not.

I have a lot of medical problems.

I lost it to drugs.

It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money.

And I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.

I do like my hair.

Don't touch my coat.

would you like to make love to me? Really, really not.

It doesn't work anyway.

Boss's ironic response about sophistication after Chandler said 'butt cracks'