The One with the Lottery

Monica asks 'what is it not?' and Joey correctly answers 'A place to entertain my lady friends' about borrowing the Porsche

Monica's second quiz: 'And what else is it not?' Joey: 'A place to eat spaghetti'

Joey specifies 'Yeah, Connecticut. Not West Virginia' about where to buy lottery tickets

Chandler's sarcastic response: 'Yes, because if I was at my old job, we'd say, "300 million? No, thank you."'

Ross lists impossible things: 'I also want to be king of my own country...and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart'

Ross doubles down: 'Still on Amelia Earhart?' 'The woman just vanished!'

Joey's math: 'But there's six of us, so we'd only have to get struck 7 times. I like those odds!'

Ross says 'boo-hockey' instead of cursing

Ross explains baby-safe cursing: 'boo-hockey...gosh darn it and brother pucker'

Ross compares Emma to Joey: 'When I talk to her, I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying. Kind of like Joey.'

Joey's confused response: 'What's that now?'

Monica defensively asks 'You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something?'

Chandler reveals: 'No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.' Monica: 'That was a good day.'

Monica panics about car: 'They're towing your car!' Chandler: 'I'm parked in a garage on Morton.'

Monica continues: 'They're towing a car. And I am seeing spots.'

Joey's baby confusion: Emma panic followed by 'Oh, yeah, the casserole lady'

Ross's sarcastic fantasy: 'we can all go out to the balcony...and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it'

Monica asks 'You think he washed his hands?' after Joey handles phone

Ross mocks their lottery odds: 'If only it were a sure thing like your 24-state lottery'

Monica's vindicated response: 'Yeah, look who's coming around!'

Chandler's dejected 'Sense the tone' about not getting the job

Monica's random complaint: 'I mean, come on, pull up your pants!' about intern Nate

Chandler's confession: 'Except I don't care about Charlie' about wanting his friend to get a job

Phoebe's psychic prediction and Ross's sarcastic response about giving someone else a chance

Monica's vegetarian complaint: 'Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair. Just because we don't eat the meat...doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses'

Rachel avoiding turkey smell: 'I don't want that turkey smell all over my hands' and Joey's response about casserole stink

Monica's awkward wish secrecy during wishbone breaking

Ross burns his hand on the lamp: 'Ow! That thing gets hot!'

Monica's rich fantasy: 'We're gonna be like, "Everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the Cape."'

Monica's impression of poor Ross: 'Oh, I can't, guys. I'll have to meet you up there. I gotta gas up the Hyundai'

Ross's protest: 'Okay, I've heard myself on tape, and I sound nothing like that'

Monica's newspaper headline fantasy: 'Lottery Winners' Friend...Filled With Regret, Eats Own Arm'

Ross's logical question: 'Why would I eat my own arm?' Monica: 'Well, you wouldn't, but we own the paper. We can print whatever we want'

Rachel using 'boo-hockey' in regular conversation

Ross's investment answer to winning lottery and Monica's response: 'Ooh. Calm down'

Ross's sarcastic correction: 'Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say, "invest it"? I meant, "Be cool and piss it all away."'

Joey's excitement about being picked for the Knicks: 'You would do that? I never get picked!'

Monica's sarcastic response to Joey's Knicks complaint: 'You're right, it has been your dream for over 15 seconds'

Ross calling Rachel 'Mommy' accidentally: 'Uh, "Mommy"?' and explanation

Monica's flirty response: 'Mm. I like that, Daddy' to Ross saying they should call him Daddy

Phoebe escalating the Daddy talk: 'Ooh, is Daddy getting angry? Is Daddy gonna spank me?'

Chandler almost joining in: 'Well, that depends. Have you been a bad--? No, I can't'

Chandler's desperate job confession: 'Oh, man, I would've slept with him!'

Chandler's nepotism realization: 'He is the boss' son'

Monica's controlling organization: 'I'm sorry, idea time is over' when someone else has a suggestion

Chandler insisting there are no tickets on nightstand and Monica's 'Chandler, sense the tone' response

Phoebe's betrayal revelation: 'The psychic also said that I would be betrayed'

Monica defending the extra tickets: 'Hey, you just got in five minutes ago!' Ross: 'Three minutes ago!'

Monica revealing when they bought tickets: 'When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic'

Joey's eager response: 'I'll show you how' about reading magazines through plastic

Monica's muffin analogy: 'Someone gave me muffins last week. I couldn't get rid of you for three days!'

Chandler's principles abandonment: 'However, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job...so I can't afford to have principles. So screw you! The tickets are ours!'

Monica's pleased response: 'There's the man I married'

Monica's threat: 'Fine. Don't be my friends. I'll buy new friends. Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they look just like you!'

Ross's bond threat: 'And if I win...I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond!'

Joey's lottery invention credit: 'Thanks for inventing the lottery!' sarcastically

Monica's balcony threat and everyone's panic when she actually goes to throw them

Chandler's materialistic plea: 'Can I come a little bit closer? Valuable things are getting squished'

Friends vs Money choice: Monica yells 'Money!' while everyone else says 'Friends!'

Monica revealing more hidden tickets: 'Even these five that I hid in my bra'

Monica accidentally dropping tickets and everyone scrambling: 'I think I broke your bowl'

Monica's optimism about wind: 'And the wind sure made it fun' about searching for tickets

Phoebe's pigeon death prediction: 'As a matter of fact, she said that's how I'm going to die'

Phoebe's pigeon voice message impersonation with 'Coo' sound effects

Ross's response to pigeon message: 'Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do'

Rachel's workplace comparison: 'It's like that time they promoted Saundra over me at work' and the Ralph Lauren follow-up

Ross calling Emma 'Daddy's little girl' and Phoebe ruining it: 'Phoebe's totally ruined that for me'

Monica's lottery-induced personality change: 'My God, I can already feel myself changing'

Rachel's complaint about mother's lips: 'Mom, please, I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you'

Emma's first word 'Gleba' and the dictionary fight that follows

Rachel's circular logic: 'Uh, Emma just said, "Gleba"' as example sentence

Ross's baby sound mockery: [BLOWS RASPBERRY] 'Why don't you look up:'

Gleba definition revelation: 'The fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi'

Ross's proud conclusion: 'She's gonna be a scientist'

Chandler's rejection call expectation: 'Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting these from guys'

Chandler's immature enthusiasm: 'I'd love to be somebody's assistant. Answering phones...getting coffee, I live for that stuff. And I'm not too mature. Farts, boobies, butt cracks!'

Boss's ironic response about sophistication after Chandler said 'butt cracks'

Monica's reward system: 'Thanks. Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?' 'You bet. No TV or anything'

Joey's secret wishbone wish: 'I, uh, didn't wish we would win the lottery. I wished you'd get the job'

Ross's theme park idea: 'So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park'

Phoebe's $3 lottery win discovery and celebration

Monica's payout options joke: 'Wow, you think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout?' about $3

50 cents distribution and everyone giving their share to Phoebe

Street lottery winner story: guy finds ticket and wins $10,000

Final pigeon message: 'Coo. Again, don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon. Coo.'