Jeremy

Friend of mine, bit of an alcoholic, a little grabby, either a war hero or war criminal, depending on who you ask, but a good dude. How do you know him? I do his teeth.

A few coffee stains up front, but his canines are insane. Gosh, Jeremy, he sounds perfect. Are his gums great too? Oh, yeah. They are excellent, beet red.

Wow. Ms. Ludgate, are you a ventriloquist? I mean, that is amazing how you make your words come out of Ms. Knope's mouth. Would you like to put her on your knee?

- Yeah, I know. - I feel very ill.

Well, on the one hand, I love cutting government programs. On the other hand, mini-golf rules. And on the third hand, I hate both you and Ron Swanson.

I'm kind of a badass wild card.

More like who am I doing? No one. I'm free. What's up?

Fluoride can control minds? Like, you can use it to make ladies do stuff?

Well, technically, my home away from home is in Zurich. Frank Gehry designed it. But this is nice too.

It's like what sir Ian McKellen said to me the day I sold my boat to Karl Lagerfeld: 'Parting is such sweet sorrow.'

I studied opera at the Sorbonne. I'd be happy to harmonize.