Lawn Signs

My campaign has been hijacked.

Maybe people were mowing their lawns.

Oh, like the wind.

Oh, this woman may not have many signs, but she has myriad qualities worth voting for. I must stop her!

Stolen? Ew!

Someone is imitated enough into thinking that I might be affecting this town's long-established voting patterns.

Yeah, I was worried Jocelyn didn't have enough signs up.

Well, I would like my little lady to win this campaign.

Oh. Moira had lawn signs?

Well, if I find out that you're accusing me of doing something I didn't do, then I'm going to accuse you of making false accusations.

Fine. But if you're denying doing something you might have done and making me feel guilty... For accusing you of something you claim you didn't do...

Maybe.

You were my mistake, which I take full credit for.

But that's not gonna help me when I am down to a Costco card and a zoo membership.

That there's another store called Blouse Barn? No.

Apparently, I have been using the name without their permission.

And to think I almost called this place 'Blouse House.'

Lotta drunks.

If there's one thing I've learned from 'The Good Wife', it's never accept a first offer.

Yes, your cologne is too strong.

That was a fun shakedown.

Well, first of all, I'd never get into the clothing business 'cause the margins are terrible...

I would take that in a second. It's a terrible name.

Technically, I would say I'm in a transition phase at the moment.

Well, thank you so much for this. Um, it was entirely unhelpful, but thank you nevertheless.

That's kind of like my aunt. She has a ghost in her house that keeps leaving dimes everywhere.

Oh no, I'd put one on my lawn if I wasn't worried about winning.

Were you picked up by the South Korean Secret Police on New Year's?

Did you or did you not have a subscription to Cosmo Girl when you were 16 years old, David?

No. Okay, David, if you have to lie about something you should breathe out while you answer 'cause it really just calms you down.

I'm not gonna wear my own clothes into the room, David. They're not scary enough.

If Prince Harry trusted me with his life, then I think you can too.

Oh my God, you're so cute. Um, I'm not a lawyer, but I'm glad that my fashion pony is working.

Angelica Bloomfield of Rose, Bloomfield and Glickman.

She accidentally, uh, threw them out.

Or... someone stole them and hid them in our garbage to try and sabotage Moira... to make it look like she's done something... really crazy.

Objection sustained.

Which is very similar to the meals and not necessarily relevant, so...

Politics 101, John. When you have limited resources, your best course of action is to create a stir.

It's like that episode of Sunrise Bay when I stole my own baby.

Moira, Sunrise Bay was a soap opera. Yes, and this is reality.

You shouldn't make accusations you can't substantiate.

Well, the point is, judging by your bag and those shoes, Blouse Barn Australia is paying you quite a bit of money

And let's be honest, 'Blouse House' doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

And let's be honest, 'Blouse House' doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

We're in our store.

Roland got carried away and used his mayoral power to get people to put more signs on their lawns.

The other day, I called another driver an effing moron. I didn't say the 'f' word, but I said, 'effing,'

I can't get through an episode of 'Masterchef Junior' without crying.

I can't get through an episode of 'Masterchef Junior' without crying.

Congratulations, Moira. You are the new councilor for the town of Schitt's Creek.

Um, you don't mean one of those big lottery checks, right?

Four years? No, no one said anything about four years.

Shouldn't we be s-s-s... Should we be... Trying to sa... save this?

Just 'cause I do my own nails doesn't mean, you know, I wouldn't go...